A place for dead or inactive threads. May they rest in peace.

Registration thread: version 2.0

Re: Registration thread: version 2.0

Postby novamouy17 » Wed May 05, 2010 8:07 am

Race; Drowlath Description; Eyes; Green. Hair; Silver with purple bangs, locks on her sides and one long one in the back of her head put like a ponytail.
Name; Nova Body; Chris cross scar on left arm and long scar on left leg going from the back of her thigh to just above the front of her knee.
Age; 49
height; 5 ft 7 in
weight; 145 lb.
build; slender, athletic.

Talents; Mana; wind affinity, offensive wind, mana manipulation
Combat; basic military training, hunting
other; fast endurance runner, pain resistant, read, write, draw, and basic math, very social.

Material; Wearing; Large backpack, red tunic, brown leather pants, under garments, belt, i pair military Boots, ada purse, 3 ada, sheathed gem dagger, brown leather cloak, 1 ring from her mother.
Inside Large backpack; one of each-spoon-fork-knife-pot-bowl, 3 fire gems, 1 rope, 4 hooks, 1 large rolled blanket tied on top,, 1 small towel, 1 flute.
Weapons; Large good bow, 15 hand made arrows poor quality, arrow sheath, 1 Dagger with 3 gems on blade.

Professional experience; 4 years as warrior, 2 years as squad leader, 2 years hunter, just started out as a scout.

Past events; Her parents were schooled, Mom was a Liberian, Father was a Teacher. Growing up she was able to get some education thanks to them. By the time she turned 15 her parents both died of a disease thy contracted during a travel. by then she was just barely old enough to take care of herself and has no siblings. So Nova joined the military in her clan. She loves to run and has some schooling so after just 4 years she was able to become squad leader but just 2 years after that her clan was engaged in a war with another clan that destroyed hers completely. there were only a few survivors including her. She had been nocked unconscious during battle and looked over. When she finally woke she buried as many dead as she could before having to catch up with the other refugees.

Character; Tends to be snoopy,strongly believes in honor, workaholic, easily amused but sensitive, optimistic and friendly, reserved and quiet, sometimes high strung and very stubborn, when she has nothing to do she goes off to explore and daydream.
novamouy17
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Clan: Tei'kaliath

Re: Registration thread: version 2.0

Postby RedKat » Sun May 09, 2010 11:05 pm

Alright! Here we go:

Name: Kaet’Arlanii Nal’Sarkoth (Kaet for short)

Race: drowolath

Age: 70

Equipment:
(on person)
- wooden bow
- 15 arrows at a time
- armor: steel breastplate, leather greaves, gauntlets, etc.
- clothes: a dark green long-sleeve shirt, black pants, knee-high boots.
- an empty bottle
- a pouch with a few small stones, or some figurines she made
- a utility knife
- jewelry: earrings and a pendant necklace
- 50 ada

(off person)
- formal attire
- a camp set (tent, sleeping bag, rations, water)
- a house on her family's land

Magic: Simple earth sorcery. She is especially good at altering the shapes of stone and gems. As an example of how she uses her power, an improvised tactic of hers is sharpening stones, then using basic mana to launch them like projectiles. This attack is, of course, not as effective as arrows. Magic is something she uses in battle only during an emergency, as she is not as skilled with it as archery. As a side note, she likes to make her own jewelry using sorcery, or at least the set stone. She also makes small figurines this way, as a hobby.

Beginning City: Chel

Clan: Nal’Sarkoth

Background: Kaet is the second daughter of wealthy merchant family, a branch of the Nal’Sarkoth clan. As a child, she was often in the shadow of her older sister, who would inherit the family business. Her sister was already 35 when Kaet was born, and was well loved by her sister despite being somewhat of an afterthought by her mother. The two have always been very close. Her mother gave her a good deal of freedom in deciding the direction she wanted to take her life, as she was not nearly as important as her sister was to the family.

Being well off, her family had the money to send her to the Orthorbbae where she trained from the ages of 10 to 30. She found she had inherited one thing from her parents: earth sorcery. However, paradoxically, Kaet was more at home with a bow in hand and trained extensively in archery. Earth magic and marksmanship seemed by most of her peers to be a strange combination, but Kaet feels that it is a balance of the two that keeps her aim steady and her body more relaxed. Besides, she can do little other than change a rock's shape.

Kaet was never exceedingly ambitious, and after she graduated did not have much of an idea of what to do with herself. Her mother never urged her to learn business. Her sister, however, felt that Kaet would make a fine saleswoman abroad. While the eldest managed the business from home, she had Kaet work as her field manager, so to speak. Kaet began to travel with the family caravans, usually through routes in the sea of mists, and made negotiations and trade deals with the many residents there.

She made three trips to the surface by the time she was 45 and lost count after that. On her first trip, she came across a finely crafted wooden bow of Halmes origin. She bought it out of fascination with the material, not to mention the weight and flexibility are more desirable that steel, and uses it as her primary weapon to this day.

On one of her first trips when she was about 38, she had an experience with bandits that would change her role in the family. The caravan, in short, was attacked by drowolath bandits, and she proved to be a critical fighter in the skirmish, able to fight as well as the hired arms using her weapon of choice: her bow. Archery that was once a hobby took a more central role in her life, as she became overseer to a some of the mercenaries that guard the caravans as well as a trader. Her mother tends to favor and acknowledge her second more, having gained some pride for Kaet thanks to the incident.

Recently, she has come home to Chel after a particularly long voyage and is on a little vacation. Rather a long vacation. She feels the need to spend some time for herself at this point, having been on the go for so many years.

Because of her family background, she is not quick to judge on the basis of race, and has plenty of experience with free goblins and dwarves.

In manner, she is introverted, yet calm, grounded and, when she needs to be, assertive. Something she is not aware of is her habit of speaking to others in a condescending or insensitive manner. The standards she sets for herself are high, and she is hard on herself when she does not live up to her own expectations. In short, her greatest personality flaw is a naturally inflated ego. She generally lives on the fly, without long term goals, figuring things out as she goes.

Description: Her hair is dyed black with green highlights, and is a little past shoulder length. Her eyes are hazel. She is tall, about 5’11’’. She has a lean muscular build thanks to her archery and near constant traveling. She is usually dressed in dark colors, with green always present. When she is traveling, she wears a longsleeve shirt, loose fitting pants tucked into long boots and her armor: a green breastplate with brown leather greaves, gauntlets, and pauldrons. She tends to dress simply.

Time zone/activity: pacific standard time; I’ll check once per day usually, sometime after 4. I might be busy the next few weeks with finals, meaning I might go a day or two without posting, but that’s temporary.

(ugh wall of text...)
RedKat
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Location: an anthill in irvine... omnom
Clan: Nal'sarkoth

Re: Registration thread: version 2.0

Postby Blue » Thu May 13, 2010 7:13 pm

Right then o3o

Since this is my first character note that I am willing to change a few points if the world setting is innacurate or there is something innapropriate.
[ Too much text :U nom nom nom ]


Name: Aysu Ist'aven Val'Sullisin'rune
Race: Drowolath
Age: 54
Sex: Male
Clan: Val'Sullisin'rune
Starting city: Raveran

Magic: Water sorcery

Skills: Aysu is a very fast learner, but as his body was too frail to do any good as a warrior his studies became directed towards the intellectual. He has been throughoutly trained in mana manipulation and sorcery. Aysu also took an interest in maths, physics and storytelling. He has an innate ability with numbers which made him proceed faster than most.

Looks: Aysu never cut his hair and his natural hair length is to his waist. It is the typical bleach white and his eyes are purple. He is fairly slender built and quite tall. Aysu has a very smooth face with nearly childish characteristics and no scars or any other marks apart from a little piece of his left pinkie finger missing.

Clothes: He is nearly always dressed up in big comfortable robes. Aysu was never one for fashion and therefore decided to keep white clothes only. To keep tabs on colours as well was a bit too much for him. (Imagine warm comfy pyjamas with boots!) And whenever he goes outside he wears a heavy cloak. However, when it is required for him to dress 'respectable' he has a simple grey, completely useless, armour.

Weapons: As Aysu never had any training in combat he does not carry any obvious weapons. He does however always have a small dagger hidden in his clothes, usually one of the boots.

Carried Items:
- He always has some ada on him although the amount changes fairly often. (At this specific moment he happens to have 22 and 1/2 ada in his pocket).
- A locket with a picture of his mother and oldest sister.
- The dagger, four inches.
- A small notebook and a pencil.
- A small bag with some essential healer equipment.
- Always, ALLWAYS, a book. (Although which one changes constantly)

Possessions he does not carry around with him;
Aysu has always been provided for and does not think of them as 'his' possessions. He prefers living simple. As long as he has clean clothes, food, a bed and access to literature he is content.

Personality: Through most of his life Aysu was a serious student and he still very much has that attitude. He is eager to please and fulfil his duties. However, he is quite often seen as a bit bigheaded and thinks too highly of himself. Aysu has never had to kill anyone and has lived a very sheltered life. He is still 'innocent' in many ways and not ready to face the world. His actions and reactions can be quite unpredictable if he is pushed in any way. He is still young and has his small episodes of acting silly or out of character breaking the very serious facade. Aysu would never do this in front of his elders though.

Back story:
Aysu sits back and smiles broadly at you
‘So you want hear a story about me this time? Alright then. It’s not a terribly exciting tale thought. Are you comfortable?’
‘Where to start...


‘Once upon a time, actually only 54 years ago, a well shaped drowolath boy was born. He was called Aysu Ist'aven Val'Sullisin'rune. He was a first born and his mother was so happy to finally have a child. However, the birth was a dramatic one with several medical complications and she had been told never to expect children again. This saddened her. She did not blame it on the child thought. He grew up as loved as any boy could wish to be.‘

‘He lived nine years in this happy home. Protected against everything and allowed to explore and learn what he wished. He quickly learned the language of the books and soon he was familiar with the collection he had access to. However, this period of his life had to end at some point, and soon after his ninth birthday his mother joyfully told him that she was once again pregnant. Somehow she had not gone completely barren. Aysu feared that she would stop caring for him. But that was not the case. His mother continued to pamper and love him.’

‘As he turned ten his official training started. They tried to train him with a sword, a shield, a hammer and many other weapons. They soon gave up as they realized his body was too frail. It was decided he would learn sorcery with the affinity for water he had shown a couple of years earlier. A war veteran was set to tutor him. The sorcerer had been working on the battlefield when he lost a leg, and with it any value in the field. He was one of their more brilliant sorcerers thought and his talents were not wasted. He trained several children at the house, but he did not spend as much time with anyone as Aysu. The boy enjoyed having a male role model, and he soon realized, a friend.’

‘When the second child was born it was a time of happiness in the home. It had been a strong healthy girl this time. By the time she reached the age of eight she was already stronger then Aysu. To be honest thought, it didn’t take much. Aysu was very much a weakling with the brain as his only regularly exercised muscle. And at such a young age she had decided she did not like males. And as the boy was the only one she saw regularly she would try to outdo him and best him in any way possible. Even though Aysu tried his best, as his mother had told him to, the girl would not warm up to him.’

‘A couple of years later the girl was once more trying to prove how weak he was. She had gotten her hands on a long dagger, and swung it around as she had seen the warriors in training do. But, at the age of ten, she had little control over her limbs and no training in duelling. Luckily for the boy he was quick and pulled his left hand away a mere second before the blade would have cut through his wrist. But alas, he was not quick enough.’

Aysu lifts his left hand and points to his little finger.
‘He lost the last joint of his pinkie finger. He did not cry out nor did he make faces. He just stared at his limb that was no longer there. It shocked his sister more. After the incident she would follow him around, at first shy and timidly, but eventually she would ask questions about everything and anything. Especially did she want to hear his stories.’

Aysu pauses for a second and snickers lightly to himself.
‘And although she became a brutal barbarian of a woman she would keep on asking for his stories.’

‘Later they would get two younger sisters as well. However, by this time Aysu had grown up and did not bond strongly with them. But they always treated him with respect and politeness.’
‘The year Aysu was to turn 42 his tutor, and friend, had to leave. No one would tell him why he was leaving, but he knew the old man was going to the surface. Aysu refused to continue training under any other tutor. His mother decided there was no point in forcing him under another tutor as he now had more than 30 years of training and should be well equipped. He should be able to teach himself at this point.’

Aysu pauses for a second, before he sighs and continues.
‘When the tutor left Aysu realized he had no other true friends. Sure the younger, and some of the older, kids came to him for stories and good games. And the elder would come to him for an intellectual conversation, but there was nothing more for him there. So he decided to spread his wings and leave.’

‘For more than ten years he travelled around in the underworld. Aysu used trading as excuse to go as far and wide as he could. His biggest sales and buys were information. Written or oral had little to no meaning. In a world where no one wanted to talk, and a slight advantage could mean survival, information was important.’

‘Aysu would never go too far away from home thought. Every so often he would return to replenish his resources and energy. During his travels he learned neat new tricks he could do with his mana. He met some interesting people, made contacts and learnt what the other clans were like. He also got to see the darker side of the towns, something that shocked him greatly but did not really surprise him.’

‘About two months ago, he set out on a new travel, this time to Raveran. And tonight he happened to walk past one of his favourite taverns. On the inside he was greeted with alcohol and friendly smiles. And once again, the good people demanded a story.’
He smiles widely and motions towards you.
‘And the rest is as they say; history.’


Time Zone/Activity: I live in Norway (+1) but am staying in England til late June (0)
I will log on at least once a day. Unless I am held up.
Blue
Tainted
 
Posts: 126
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Location: Norway

Re: Registration thread: version 2.0

Postby Zickman » Thu May 13, 2010 11:04 pm

Name:Alderic Rosharak

Race: Drowolath

Age: 258 eight years old exact

Weapons: Alderic’s main weapon is a hand-and-a-half sword. He also wears on his left hand a spiked brass knuckles. For backup he carries a pair of daggers.

Armor: Alderic wears a thick black silk vest over a light chainmail shirt, his armor also consists of matching black iron gauntlets and black reinforced leather boots.This is typically worn over everyday clothing.

Other Items:
A pouch of 50 ada that he has saved from his various jobs
A coil of thick rope
A survivor’s pack consisting of sleeping bag, water flask, cooking pot, flint, tinder, salted meat, ext
An overland story book entitled Trying Again
Iron chest containing some personal effects
Several articles of clothing and a fully furnished house
Profession: Mercenary

Magic: Ice Sorcery, Basic Mana Manipulation

Skills:

Weapon Proficiency: Alderic extensive training and long years of adventuring has left him skilled in the use of almost all bladed weapons. He is particularly apt at wielding swords and can be considered a master with his personal hand-and-a-half blade.

Unarmed Combat: Alderic is also highly proficient in hand to hand combat as he was extensively trained in this field during his youth.

Basic mama Manipulation/ Ice Sorcery: A youth filled of studying and training and years of practice has left Alderic with extensive knowledge in mana usage. He is highly adept in Mana Manipulation and also possesses inane Ice Sorcery.
Other Knowledge: Years of overworld roaming and adventuring has left Alderic with a smattering of out of the norm knowledge such as astrology, metrology, tracking and zoology.

Beginning city: Chel'el'sussoloth

Clan: Clanless

Background:
Alderic stared at Kesha, the halme he now freely called his friend, and felt a sense of sadness at the fact that they would soon be parted; probably forever. He sighed and considered her request, it was not an unreasonable one but he knew that it would be painful.

“You ask of my past Kesha.” He said sadly. “Very well I shall tell you.”
He stared around the room. A hearth crackled merrily in its hearth off to his left, he had a vast supply of mead at hand, and Kesha stared at him attentively. He had always been one for good stories, and his if anything else was a good story. With a small smile and sip of cold mead Alderic began:

“I was born some two hundred and fifty eight years ago to Illhar Meshakal Rosharak. I never met my father, and as far as my mother was concern he never exited. As the youngest of eight children and a male at that I was quite unremarkable, but that did not in anyway hamper the almost torturous training I had to endure as a child. At the age of nine it could be said that I was baptized in fire. The Rosharak prided themselves on creating first class soldiers and had an intense training regime design to weed out the weak while making the strong stronger. Things were even harder on me, being the child of the Illhar and all. In my earlier years my day basically consisting of being trained and drilled till I collapsed then sleeping the night away exhausted so the process could continue the next day. At the age of thirty eight I had to face the rite of adulthood that all unproven Rosharak youths had to go through, the Valde Pugna. In a nutshell it is a ritual in which young Rosharak are thrown in a small arena to face off against a vicious and normally starving creature. They had only a blunted dagger and their training to save them from being devoured. In my case I battled it out with a panther. One of the fiercest fights of my life, I almost didn’t live to tell this story. But I managed to kill it.

After that my life took a turn for the better, the training still continued but it wasn’t as fierce but more importantly I was finally able to venture out of the stronghold and into the surrounding lands. During this time there is one important thing of note that I accomplished, obtaining my sword which I christened Aestuo. I won it in a hand to hand combat against a Highland Raider and it has been at my side ever since. I can honestly say that those were the happiest days of my life, getting into trouble around the caverns around my home and taking periodic trips to Chel and the Overworld along with our trade caverns or mercenary teams.

The calm before the storm as they would say, because it didn’t last. The downfall of my clan was swift and sudden. It was just after my mother had called a clan meeting to discuss the loaming threat of the Nidraa’chal, a band of crazed demon loving Drows who were challenging the power of the Imperial Clan, which was one of the reasons that we suffered such heavy losses. Almost every single clan member was in attendance, only a light watch was set. After all, who would be stupid enough to attack the mighty Rosharak clan while they were all gathered and assembled? We were arrogant, our pride and confidence led to our downfall. I don’t remember much of it, guess cause I was in shock for most of it. But I remember waking up to find my room ablaze, smoke choking me and burning my nose and eyes. I only escaped by jumping out of the window. I remembered lying stunned until a group of invaders found me, forcing me to defend myself. I managed to hold them off but was wounded in the process. After that I don’t remember anything until I woke up when the attack had died down, everything was burnt or burning and bodies were everywhere. I remember seeing the mutilated corpse of my mother and then meeting my sister.

She revealed to me that it was her who had orchestrated the destruction of our clan before capturing me. Before that moment I never knew was true undying hatred for a person was. Even now it fills every fiber of my being and spurs me onward, I swore that I would not allow myself the embrace of death till I have taken Aestuo and plunged it through her heart. In the following days that vow was probably all that kept me alive, I don’t know how long I was prisoner but I remember that I was tortured constantly. I only managed to escape when one of the jailers took pity on me. We ran off together but she was killed in the process. I made my way to the surface and was captured once more, this time by a small band of treasure hunters. They intended to trade me for a few ada at the Klar’bol. I managed to slay them all and escape. I made my way back to the ruins of my home after that…… to see it for myself and gather up what little may have survived the flames and scavengers.

Miraculously Aestuo still lay on a stand in my ruined room where I left it, untouched. After that I just wandered the underworld aimlessly for a couple years getting into as much fights as I could, I wanted to die but didn’t have the courage to take my own life and so I was looking for something or somebody to do it for me. But despite all odds I managed to survive, I eventually settled into a mercenary lifestyle. It was perfect for me, I travelled far and wide; drowning my misery and despair in new experiences while making enough money to live comfortably. If your memory is accurate you’ll recall that that is how we met. I know, feels like yesterday doesn’t it? I was injured during a mission to the surface world, my enemies were in hot pursuit of me and no one in their right mind would give me aid. That is no one except you.

You were only a girl at the time too; only about fourteen but if you hadn’t hidden me in the cellar of your home long enough for me to recover sufficiently I’d probably be dead. I’m sorry that I was the ruin of your family, your action while helping me sealed your faith. When they killed your parents I could have done nothing else but bring you back with me to the Underworld. But all in all the mercenary life style was a good choice for me; it allows me to earn enough money to live comfortably while being the best profession to steer me towards my ultimate goal, killing my traitorous sister. That Kesha, is the story of my life, hope you enjoyed it much more than I do.”

Description: When one looks at Alderic the first thing they notice is his immense size for a Drow, almost six feet five. His long shoulder length hair which he usually wears in a ponytail is the typical bleach white for a Drow but as a tribute to his destroyed clan he has dyed it with streaks of dark purple. His eyes are a light shade of turquoise. His body is perfectly honed and chiseled though his muscles are not bulging. Over his armor he wears a flowing black cloak, and when out of armor he usually dresses in clothes of dark purple. Alderic’s chief distinguishing marks are a thick knotty scar across his abdomen, the momentum of the attack that had destroyed his clan and almost killed him, and a tattoo on his cheek in the form of a rune that has no meaning to anyone but him.

Personality: Once cheerful and humorous, the utter destruction of his clan before his eyes has left Alderic a somber Drow. He now carries himself with such a single-minded intent that most people he his encountered either respect him or get the hell out of his way as quickly as possible. Alderic lives now for the chief purpose of revenging himself and has sworn not to die until this vow has been fulfilled, and as a result of this he pushes himself far beyond the ordinary limit to see that his will is accomplished.

Time Zone/Activity: Central
Zickman
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Location: Somewhere in the Ethereal Realm of Magic

Re: Registration thread: version 2.0

Postby Sarcose » Fri May 14, 2010 1:54 pm

[Edit] Summary: a callous prankster with a dark past that makes him wary of the suffering of others, who came to Vloz'Ress for refuge. He has a redemption complex for what he did in said past. Tainted, and once had a fear of women and a fear of his own tainting but is gradually getting over both of these. A moderately skilled but vicious, nasty, tricky fighter.

Gonna go ahead and attempt the jump:

Kato'Jix Vloz'Ress
Race: Ver'drowendar
Age: 46 (compare early 20s)
Equipment:
---A steel Khopesh, or sickle-sword. Kato'Jix uses this weapon for its versatility, particularly because he does not have to carry multiple weapons to perform similar functions. It was given to him by his best friend, and he has kept it ever since as a memento. It contains a nick in the blade where it struck stone during a pivotal moment in Kato'Jix's life. He has not sharpened this nick away. It also contains a several inch-long, weighted spike on the handle that sticks out at a 45 degree angle. He uses this to make killing blows to the skull and perform surprise close attacks. He recently had added to it a locking cross-guard that he can use to catch other swords, though his lack of skill with this often leads him to disarming both of them. The sword is a sidearm that he often uses as a backup.
---A bardiche, a type of polearm with a cleaver-type blade. Its haft is shorter than most polearms, and has a sharpened point on the other end. This is one of many pole-weapons he's owned, that he finally settled on. This is the second bardiche he's purchased after losing his first. It is of lower quality than the initial one and he relishes excuses to fall back on his sidearm.
---Armor: a mish-mash suit of lamellar armor interwoven with silk backing to make it cheaper to maintain, also giving it weaknesses in the joints. It is poorly to moderately well-maintained, typically with the help of his friend. It is dyed various colors in spots, with purple being predominant and greens and reds covering the arms. The lower body protection is more complete than the upper, being that he doesn't often wear a helmet. This is dyed dark red and has patches of color throughout like a rainbow trying to break through his legs. The reasoning for the dyes is that he often needs to replace parts of it, and he buys replacement plates (not knowing how to tan hides himself) when they're available and at random, and picks colors on a whim.
---Money: 10 to 30 ada, saved up to maintain his armor. It is all he can do to keep it wearable.
---Typical belt: A utility knife, one belt pouch containing: a ball of string, dental picks, a silk measuring tape, varying sizes of nails and spikes. One belt pouch with two compartments, one filled with small metal balls, the other with ball-shaped hard candies. A bag of sand tied to a belt loop.

Mana arts: Basic mana manipulation, with a focus on the mana shield. Wind affinity (untrained)
Starting City: Chel'el'sussuloth
Clan: Vel'Vloz'Ress
Abilities: Combat focus on avoidance and mitigation, though only moderately skilled for his age. See weaponry for his strategies.
A skilled negotiator
A sharp sense of humor (he insisted I put this here)

Background:
http://pastebin.com/J7at3GRf contains the full character sheet. Warning: long
Point-by-point
-Nicknamed "Jix" for his tremors (never knew if he even had a birthname)
-Grew up in a squatter home among orphaned boys. These boys were generally abandoned or runaways. Small, tormented, had no friends but Kato. This "family" of brothers was part of a larger community of squatters that all lived in an abandoned building in extremely enclosed quarters. Developed a fear of girls and women because they were enigmatic and terrifying.
-Kato was large, humble, and introspective. Jix was small, witty, and arrogant
-Put to work doing manual labor for the house, moving furniture and wares
-Left with Kato to see the wide and wonderful world. Became mercenaries. Fear of women begins to wane by association.
-Kato and Jix's philosophies differed greatly on war; Kato himself being somewhat pacifistic. This caused them to be ousted from two groups before their final third, due to their arguments.
-Joined one last mercenary group before their lives changed irreversibly. This group took them to see the world of the surface and they encountered exotic cultures. Jix found the weapon that became his fascination, the Khopesh, in this way. Kato had one special made for him, designed to be extra tricksy.
-Jix and Kato got into a massive argument that ended with Jix killing Kato in a messy, non-instant decapitation by the Khopesh. Jix rationalizes this away and does not think of himself as having done wrong.
-Jix left the mercenary group and outcast himself to Vloz'Ress, joining one of the subhouses.
-Jix's emergent self-doubt from killing his best friend causes his namesake tremors to return, and he is pressured into accepting the tainting ritual in order to overcome his weaknesses. He never really agrees with it, and ends up hating what they did to him, running away from the Vloz'Ress.
-Jix is hunted, though not for long. He returns home to find his family and community horrified at what he's become.
-Jix passes out in despair and wakes up being robbed. His demon seed gives him the strength to defeat his assailants and he manages to salvage his gifted Khopesh. These two features of this event lead him to conclude he may not be beyond redemption.
-He takes the name "Kato'Jix" to honor his fallen friend, and returns to Vloz'ress. Along the way he regains his sense of humor and becomes bitter toward the suffering of others, believing suffering to be self-caused (his evidence to this being his own plight, which he blames himself for entirely)

Appearance:
Short and thin and of fluctuating muscle. He has infrequent fascinations with health that lead him to rarely exercise obsessively, and so sometimes he stands taller than is typical. A thin nose and a long, gaunt face with scraggily red-dyed sideburns and red eyes that were once green. His hair is out of control, red for several inches where it was dyed upon entry into Vloz'ress and white the rest of the way. He keeps it tyed back and covers his head with a leather sallet when entering into combat to keep it from being a liability.

His face has a disfiguring scar on the cheek that mangles his smile. He walks with a limp when stressed, for though his legs function normally, he compensates subconsciously for his weakened shoulder by keeping it hung lower, and this has affected his entire gait. Fond of the color purple.
Sarcose
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Posts: 80
Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2010 7:34 pm
Clan: Illhar'dro

Re: Registration thread: version 2.0

Postby Sir Malifact » Thu May 27, 2010 3:47 am

Just a test... going to go ahead and see what happens. I've been holding this bucko in reserve for monthes now, so feel free to punt him to the back of the que in order to handle the others; I don't mind waiting.


Name: Murados Doombreaker
Race: Dwarf
Gender: Male
Age: 36
Profession: Surviving
Class: Mercenary.
Beginning City: Val’Raveran

Armor:

Murados wears a simple set of leather armor upon which Drow-forged steel has been nailed on (taken from the armor of slain Drow soldiers, but melted down and re-forged to suit the Dwarves size). The metal itself is a deep black, contrasting dully with the cement-grey of the hide. The plates are attached to the shins, thighs, shoulders, forearms and chest. It provides ample protection, whilst allowing Murados to move stealthily through the tunnels of the Underdark.

Melee Weapons:
As a rule, Murados wears a pair of leather gloves, thin plates of spiked steel melded to the hide. A pair of viciously serrated daggers are tucked into hidden sheathes on his wrists, and a double-headed warhammer is strapped to his back. Propelled by his prodigious strength, and reinforced with plundered Drow steel, the hammer is a formidable weapon in his gnarled hands.

Ranged Weapons:
Murados uses a light-weight metal crossbow with a collapsible stock and arc. It can fire a wide array of adapted bolts; thin-headed armor piercers (made, yet again, from melted down Drow-steell) and viciously serrated bolts coated in a paralytic poison.




Other Equipment:

A large rucksack
a hip-flask of Gutbuster Stout,
a coinpurse containing a meager sum of silver and copper pieces (Dwarvish currency) as well as a few Ada
Several vials of Blackpowder and poison
A quarrel filled with crossbow bolts
Home-made explosives: makeshift Molotov cocktails, waxed paper fuses, small “grenades” made from hollowed-out stones filled with a bit of blackpowder and scraps of metal.
A box of Cigars. Did I mention he smokes?

Magic: None, of course.

Clan:
Murados was born into a rugged, nomadic clan of Deurgar survivors. A relatively large force, with numbers reaching up into the hundreds (including women and children) they’ve only survived thus far by constantly staying on the move, never resting in one place for too long, while replenishing their supplies by overwhelming and outmaneuvering Drow caravans and convoys. For a thousand years they have waged a campaign of guerilla war against the Drow, striking from the shadows with overwhelming force and firepower, before disappearing just as suddenly as they came, retreating back into the unavigateable depths of the underdark’s labyrinthine tunnel system. They know full well that the Drow are simply too powerful to be defeated, so they confine their attacks to small-scale targets; merchant caravans, guard patrols, and the like. They’ve learned from bitter experience that when enough of the Fae are in one place, they can create mana-shields to protect themselves from cannon fire, which is why the first targets in the ambush will always be the spell-casters and officers. Powerful though they may be, a broadside from thirty cannons firing simultaneously reduces these dangerous opponents to a stain on the cavern floor before they have the time to raise a finger; the Dwarves strike from the darkness without warning, leaving no time for their targets to react, firing gas-canisters and toxic vials into their enemies midst, creating a noxious, impenetrable cloud of poisonous gas and smoke. Sound is muted within the cloud, and a Drow cannot survive for long in such conditions before their lungs are filled with toxins and ash. The Dwarves will then fire into this cloud for several more minutes, before the Dwarves hidden in tunnels beneath the caravan emerge to sow discord and terror amongst the bedraggled survivors still trapped in the chocking smog (This has saved their lives many a time when they would have been overwhelmed, allowing them to fall back into their labyrinthine tunnels and disappear before their enemies can consolidate)
Once this is finished, they strip the Drow of everything, taking their weapons and armor so it can be melted down into something a Dwarf can use, while still retaining the unsurpassable quality that all Drow-forged steel has. If there were any slaves amongst the caravan, then they will give them a chance to join the Dwarves. Only after stripping the caravan bare of anything and everything of value do they move on.

The weak are not allowed to live in this Spartan clan, with only the strongest of the whelps surviving to adulthood. The unworthy are weeded out through a vigorous training regime that keeps every dwarven member of the clan in Olympic shape.

Background:

Murados’ life, like every Deurgar free of slavery, was hell from birth. He’d never known his parents; he was orphaned at birth, his father having died long ago in battle, his mother expiring giving birth to him. He’d been raised communally, but no one had had much time to spare to attend to the little one, and once he’d entered adolescence, he was left to fend for himself. For years he worked to establish himself in the clan, throwing himself into their rigorous training-sessions with a determination unusual even for his tenacious race. No matter what happened to him, no matter how grievous his wounds or embarrassing the humiliation, he kept going. He was implacable, unshakable, his nerves seemingly forged of steel. Needless to say, he proved to be a ferocious warrior, lunging into battle with a cold, calculating fury which would have frightened a Vloz’ress berserker. By the age of 12 (Or the Dwarven equivalent, as we don’t know precisely how the Dwarves age) he was joining his clansmen on raids, carrying ammunition and helping load the cannons.
As time passed, and his battlefield experience grew, he began to chalk up kills of his own; he preferred to use a crossbow instead of the cannon which was the norm for the rest of his kind, using it to pick out officers or other figures of importance and silencing them before they could rally. He used this method to take out the steed of a noble who had accompanied a caravan they’d attacked, firing an explosive round into the monstrous beasts eye, the round punching through to explode the creatures brain. The Val had been sent toppling, crushed under the weight of his dead steed. Effectively beheaded, the Drow defense fell to shambles, and they were defeated through an unrelenting bombardment of explosive and incendiary rounds, along with the use of noxious gas. There would be no glorious captain to lead a counter-charge; these Deurgar were professionals at what they did, and were able to whittle down the Drow’s numbers to the point where they’re so-called “mana-pool” was a shallow puddle.

Following the clans moto of “You keep what you kill”, he was allowed to take the beasts hide as a trophy (Which he had tanned and tailored to his build to make a suit of fellhide armor) They ate well, that night; Tikktiki steaks and fungus beer go remarkably well together.

The above could be repeated over and over for the next 20 years, for it was all that Murados’ life was. Wake up, eat, pack up the camp and move on. They had few domesticated pack-animals, and those that they did were used to ferry the women and children, the sick and the wounded, which meant everyone took turns carrying their fair share. And when supplies ran low, they’d set up an ambush along a trade-route and wait for a Drow caravan to pass by, laden with goods from the Raveran market.

Years passed by, and Murados grew further isolated from his comrades. He was a cold, distant figure at the best of times, never deigning to speak with his Dwarven brethren unless it was to scold them. Then, during a routine ambush, the unthinkable happened. Somehow, the Drow were ready for them; later on, a gnome amongst their group would be found to have been a plant, somehow feeding information to the patrols of the region through the use of a mana-device.
The Drow charged, using a mana-shield to to deflect the Deurgar cannon-fire. In an act of desperation, Murados fired an explosive bolt into their ammunition stockpile. The resulting explosion brought the roof of the cavern down between the Duergar and Drow, hundreds of tons of rubble separating the Drow from Murados’ comrades, who had already began to fall back as they realized the jig was up. When the smoke cleared, they tried to look for him, but gave up as they realized there was no way he could have survived the cave-in. His loss was unfortunate, but no one sung the Rites of Mourning for Murados. Instead, they moved on, secretly glad to be rid of him… he was a fierce warrior, and none denied his skill, but… he was like a Ghost. Emotions simply passed through him, and sometimes, he didn’t even seem Dwarven. More like a statue carved in the shape of one. The only real reason he’d stuck with the raiders, instead of setting out on his own, was because there was safety in numbers; he owed nothing to them.

But Murados wasn’t dead. He hauled himself out from the rubble on the other side of the tunnel, battered and bloodied, sporting a headache which made his usual hangovers seem like a tap to the head, but very much alive. It didn’t take him long to figure out what had happened, and what the inevitable outcome would be. He took it in stride as he did everything else, merely collecting ammo from his fallen brethren and scrounging what he could from the site of the ambush , before moving on.

After several weeks of trecking through the vastness of the Underdark, he came to the entrance of Val’Raveran, the Drow trade city whose caravans he’d ambushed so many times before. The irony of it did not fail to make itself clear to him, but again, he took it in stride. He’d work with what he had. A grizzled veteran such as himself could make quite the profit, hiring himself out as a Mercenary. Arriving at the climax of the Daemonic outbreak, he found himself working as an independent contractor, hired out by those whom the Kyorls deemed "unfit" for rescue, and left to die at the hands of the Daemons; the lower-classes, the scum and maggots of society. He provided protection for those who could afford it, and after the daemonic invasion had died down, he made a name for himself on the streets of Raveran; a cold-blooded killer, his murderous skills honed to perfection over a lifetime of guerilla-warfare, he was in a whole other level from the motley collection of ex-gladiators and off duty Sarghress which made up the local selection of mercenaries. If you wanted someone dead, Murados was the right Deurgar for the job. If someone owed the street-gangs payment, and was behind on making it up, then Murados was the one you sent to set things straight. In his free-time he’s either creating newfound explosive concoctions, or kicking back in a tavern with a flagon of shroom beer in one hand and a wench in the other.

Personality:
Emotionally, he is a hollow shell; he rarely converses with his fellow dwarves, and when he did it was only after many a flagon of ‘shroom beer. When he does speak, he is remarkably blunt, wasting no time on frivolities and getting straight to the point. He bears himself with a gruff, no-nonsense demeanor, and is equally willing to smash your face to a bloody pulp with his bare fists as he is to slide a poisoned dagger into your back.

Description:
Murados is a hardy example of his race, standing at 4’8. He is in exemplary good shape, heavily muscled without an ounce of wasted flesh on his stout frame. A thick black beard pours down from his chin, bound into two separate tails by a pair of leather straps. The rest of his hair falls down to his shoulders in a mess of dreadlocks. His skin is pale, and scarred heavily from years of harsh living and raiding.. His features are strong and rugged, but marred by the marks of a lifetime of guerilla-war. His eyes are a drab olive-green.




TIME ZONE: U.S. Eastern Time.
Last edited by Sir Malifact on Thu Jun 10, 2010 2:39 am, edited 1 time in total.
Sir Malifact
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Clan: Nal'sarkoth

Re: Registration thread: version 2.0

Postby DarkandTroubledMagi » Mon Jun 07, 2010 7:48 pm

Name: Cos'tos

Race: Drowolath

Age: 30

Equipment:
1 three sided knife, designed to be able for use in cutting or stabbing. Almost as large as a small cutlass. The holster for the knife is on his belt
3 smaller, concealable throwing knives. They are hidden up his sleaves
Generally a small loaf of bread. Carried in a small pack
Generally a canteen of water. Also in the small pack
A flute. Final thing in the small pack
A courier's pouch, for any messages that may need to be passed.

Magic: Wind Sorcery (specifically, manipulating wind currents. He uses it to give him a boost when jumping, albeit a tiny one).

Other Skills: Running, Navigating the city, Playing flute, Getting Deliveries done on time.

Beginning city: Chel'el'sussoloth

Clan: Unaligned Courier (message carrier)

Background: Cos'tos was the son of two shop owners of a small merchant company. His parents were not rich, but they had enough money to make sure that there was always food on the table. When Cos'tos was 15, he began helping out at the shop, after his father had been injured when the family managed to escape the city during the Nidra'chal invasion. His mother taught him merchant practices, and his father how to play the flute. At 20, he began learning bladework from the butcher who worked the next stall over, trading the training for his salery. The butcher, and his parents began using him as a courier, noting his skill at navigating crowds and the city. Cos'tos took the job in stride, and has spent the last 10 years working as such, among other odd jobs, such as entertainer and bard. He managed to only be late with a message once, when a drunken Halme attempted to mug him for his ada. Cos'tos was able to throw off the goblin, and aquired the man's knife, which now hangs from his belt.

Description: Cos'tos has blue eyes, the typical dark complexion of the Drowolath, and a thin face. He is about an inch taller then the average drow, and has a thin build, without much muscle but also without much fat. His hair is longish, and uncombed, giving a sort of wildish impression, with flecks of blue dye spread throughout. He tends to wear a red, unarmored jacket with the company his parents work for's insignia on the back, over a grey tunic and blue trousers. He wears running shoes, which make a distinctice *kor* noise when he walks. A leather strap secures a tiny pack and a couriers pouch to him. From his belt hangs a holstered three sided knife that is almost large enough to be a sword itself. Cos'tos always is cracking a smirk, and tends to talk in a voice that seems to say "Isn't the world awesome?" He prefers to avoid fights, or get whoever he's fighting chasing after someone else, and when in a fight always uses trickery, feints and the like. He likes getting his opponent mad, not thinking straight before he actually starts fighting.
DarkandTroubledMagi
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Re: Registration thread: version 2.0

Postby Talice » Wed Jun 23, 2010 4:17 am

This is the MK III re-write.

Name: Nady ( pronounced like "Naughty") Yas'dra Val'Sullisin'rune

Race: Drowolath

Gender: Female

Age: 36

Equipment:
(on self)
-Clothing: nice but cheap spider-silk short-sleeved mid-riff and cleavage bearing half shirt, low rise "board-shorts" style pants, a sturdy sports bra (occasionally doubles as he wallet), and flat comfortable shoes she can run in. Colors are white, fading to deep-purple at the cuffs for shirt and pants, black for the shoes and bra.
-a worn natural leather courier bag/satchel (usually containing lunch amongst other things)
-7 ada (tucked in her bra)
-2 slender bladed stiletto-style knives ( kept in her satchel)
-3 black lacquered solid steel and sharpened "chopsticks" (a version of throwing spikes that shes quite good with) that she uses to keep her hair up.
-2 or 3 fairly cheezy romance/"smut" novels with illustrations. (in her satchel)
-21 piercing studs and rings (worn.. see description)
-100 ada in a pouch (in her satchel)
-bottle of massage oil

(at home)
-A short, Scimitar like swoard (she is proficient in its use, just dosnt tend to carry it in the city)
-fairly extensive wardrobe of cloths.
-extensive but cheap body jewelry collection
-a big pile of books on a variety of topics, at least half are novels.
-a large inherited fortune of Ada

(when travelling..add to carried)
-silk lined hooded travellers cloak
-her swoard from home
-small leather backpack
-several changes of clothing
-waterskin
-several days trail rations
-whetstone
-soft high black leather boots

Magic: Sorcery (Shadow). Nady has a great deal of training in sorcery, having graduated at the top of her class and has a strong aura. Basic energy.


Beginning city: Chel'el'sussoloth: The main drow establishment of the Underworld, Chel'el'sussoloth is a bustling metropolis and a major center of trade.

Clan: Val'Sullisin'Rune

Background: Nady was born into the sub-family Yas'dra of the Val'Sullisin'Rune clan. Her mother, the De'vess of the family, gave Nady over to her elder sister to raise, which she did, raising Nady until she was 10, at which time her strong aura became apparent, and she was enrolled into Orthorbbae.

This was her first real exposure to other drow her own age. Having always been small, Nady quickly became the but of countless short jokes from her peers.

When it came time for Nady and her classmates to see what elements they might have an affinity for, Nady found that along with her strong aura, she had an affinity for shadow. She also seemed have an innate ability for the use of Basic Energy. Derided for her height, Nady began to apply herself to her studies with a vengeance, learning Sorcery specialising in Shadows. She quickly rose to the top of her class through being advanced in skill, being creative in the use of what power she did have and grim determination.

During the next decade of her schooling, Nady began to fill out, both in form and personality. As she grew, Nady discovered that the teasing she had received for her short stature decreased in direct proportion to the growth of her breasts. It was a mixed blessing, as this change allowed her to begin to have a real social life for the first time (she still looks down on those who address her boobs when speaking to her, considering it to be a sign of mental weakness) allowing her to become a very outgoing, and fun loving person, but, these changes also meant that Nady had to work a lot harder in her studies to have any of her accomplishments noticed at all.

Nadys own inner drive and fierceness are something she tries to keep in check, as her fierceness expresses itself in a classic "short-person" temper and her drive in a burning desire to be noticed for her own accomplishments and not just for her looks. Nady is also very competitive, with a willingness to take a dare that has resulted in her doing some truly interesting things (though not always smart things). Nady is also not above using other peoples fixation on her looks to her own advantage, but she does not usually go out of her way to do so.

Like many Drow, Nady has a love of the finer things in life. She enjoys reading books, hot-baths, good- food, mushroom beer, and massage. In the past few years, Nady has developed a love and capacity to party that few others outside of her clan possess or can keep up with.

Now, Nady is a promising young member of her clan, is making it on her own. So far she has been asked to do very little by her clan, which gives her a surprising amount of leeway to find own place in the world.

Description: Nady is a shockingly good looking young Drowolath, who turns heads when she enters a room.
Nady is of typical build for a Drowolath (slim, athletic) save in two areas, first, she is short. She stands only 5'6" in height though she is properly proportioned of body and limb. Normally this is something for which she would receive immense teasing about were it not for the second difference, she is possessed of what are commonly termed "epic boobs" ( google "epic boobs", you'll get the picture). She considers them to be her greatest asset and detriment all rolled into one.

Nady has mid-shoulder length shock white hair , purple-dye dipped tips colored up to about the lobes of her ears. Nady usually keeps her hair up in a bun with her "chop-sticks" leaving long locks framing either side of her face.
Her eyes are a rich amber in color, they are expressive, long lashed, and capable of conveying her thoughts and emotions without words.

Nady carries herself with great confidence, giving the impression that shes taller than she actually is, and is in general, loud and outgoing enough that most quickly learn to disregard her short stature.

Nady has a lot of piercings. Five rings in each ear, a hoop in in the outside of her left eyebrow, a small bar at the bridge of her nose between her eyes, has stud in her right nostril, a hoop through either side of her lower lip, a tongue post, a labret stud, hoops through both nipples, and a hoop in her naval. Some also report that she has a post through the hood of her clitoris.

Nady tends to dress comfortably, and oft times a bit revealingly, usually in white, red or purple clothing. She is also seemingly never without her shoulder satchel.


TIME ZONE: Pacific Time.
Talice
Nether Seed
 
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Re: Registration thread: version 2.0

Postby Thalar » Thu Jul 08, 2010 9:35 pm

Since there are a lot of newcomers here I'll reiterate what a conditional approval means; If your character got conditionally approved this means you have to agree upon a condition (or conditions) I specify below the score chart, and you need to post that agreement in this thread. After you've posted your agreement to the condition(s) you can immediately begin playing that character.
Alternately, the condition may be for you to make a choice between some outlined alternatives. The same applies; Post your choice and you are immediately ready to play.
If, on the other hand, you disagree with the condition or believe the choice is not going to work for your character, you must take your character sheet to the newbie school thread for assistance, and repost it to this thread once you have made whatever changes are necessary to improve it.

As for those characters who were refused, they will get an additional, in-depth review from one of the review assistants in order to help them improve the character in the areas that need work.

Celice
Character: Heine Vloz'ress

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (8)
  • Mana arts - (8)
  • Abilities - (8)
  • Items - (8)
  • Total power level - (8)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (8)
  • Plausibility - (8)
Conclusion: Approved.
==

Darthar
Character: Vash'amon Ist'aven Val'Sullisin'rune

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (7)
  • Mana arts - (8)
  • Abilities - (8)
  • Items - (8)
  • Total power level - (8)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (7)
  • Plausibility - (8)
Conclusion: Approved.
==

thatguyvex
Character: Ash’Kir'lin Ist’Aven Val’Sullisin’rune

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (6)
  • Mana arts - (8)
  • Abilities - (8)
  • Items - (6)
  • Total power level - (7)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (9)
  • Plausibility - (7)
Conclusion: Approved.
==

voynich
Character: Daston Iminok

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (6)
  • Mana arts - (NA)
  • Abilities - (8)
  • Items - (7)
  • Total power level - (7)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (7)
  • Plausibility - (6)
Conclusion: Approved.
Most of this background could work anywhere. But be careful about inventing things, this is a setting which doesn't take well to invention unfortunately. If you wish to update his appearance following the new dvergar information, please do so by submitting it to this thread.
==

TrueDarkBlade
Character: Torgen Guldorf

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (7)
  • Mana arts - (NA)
  • Abilities - (6)
  • Items - (7)
  • Total power level - (7)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (5)
  • Plausibility - (8)
Conclusion: Approved.
If you wish to update his appearance following the new dvergar information, please do so by submitting it to this thread.
==

Halfwot
Character: Karken Stonehand

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (6)
  • Mana arts - (NA)
  • Abilities - (7)
  • Items - (6)
  • Total power level - (7)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (7)
  • Plausibility - (8)
Conclusion: Conditionally approved.
Please give an accurate estimate of the amount included in "a handful of money" or confirm that it was an oversight as you already have 20 ada at the top of the equipment list. Also, if you wish to update his appearance following the new dvergar information, please do so by submitting it to this thread.
==

HavocHamster
Character: Denbo Feltbeard

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (4)
  • Mana arts - (NA)
  • Abilities - (0)
  • Items - (6)
  • Total power level - (0)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (5)
  • Plausibility - (4)
Conclusion: Refused.
Unfortunately there was no answer as to the possible life span for a dvergar, so I'm going to have to ask you to cut his age down to 75-ish. Most of his background is fine, although it is mighty convenient how things just happened to be left behind for the only survivor to find. But going up against dragons and demons? The way you have written it suggests he does so alone, and that is unfortunately too much. Especially considering we don't know how plausible it is to encounter either of these opponents. Perhaps if you went into more detail here, and added a group of dvergar rather than just your own character, it could still be plausible. Additionally, you may wish to update his appearance based on the new dvergar information which will be posted soon.
==

Japuje
Character: Magrum Ukmok

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (4)
  • Mana arts - (NA)
  • Abilities - (5)
  • Items - (3)
  • Total power level - (7)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (5)
  • Plausibility - (5)
Conclusion: Conditionally approved.
Leather is not cheap in the underworld, and linen wouldn't be either. Spidersilk on the other hand, is. So please post your acceptance of changing your character's linen clothes to spidersilk, or if you'd rather make a different change feel free to repost the character with the changes made, for a new evaluation. Also, you may want to update his appearance based on the new dvergar information.
==

blargargarg
Character: Andy
I regret to inform you that orcs were removed from the list of playable races due to the complete lack of information available even after the worldsetting questions list was answered. Your character can therefore not be reviewed nor approved.

==

TheTatteredKing
Character: Fal'ruthiel

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (5)
  • Mana arts - (7)
  • Abilities - (7)
  • Items - (6)
  • Total power level - (7)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (5)
  • Plausibility - (6)
Conclusion: Approved.
==

Paladin Tim
Character: Gruugar Bugcrusher
I'm sorry, unfortunately orcs were taken out of the list of playable races due to the complete lack of information even after the worldsetting questions list was answered. Your character can therefore not be reviewed nor approved.
==

Wirewolf
Character: Malakai Armstrong

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (5)
  • Mana arts - (NA)
  • Abilities - (5)
  • Items - (7)
  • Total power level - (6)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (6)
  • Plausibility - (6)
Conclusion: Conditionally approved.
Like I mentioned to HavocHamster earlier, there was no answer on dvergar ages, so I'm going to ask you to lower it into something around 40-60ish. Please post the new age you wish your character to be, within that range, or alternately you can edit the background and resubmit for a new evaluation. Also you may want to update his appearance based on the new dvergar information, if you wish to do so without a full repost simply post the new appearance with the new age.
==

Samechiel
Character: Mu

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (2) - Being isolated on the surface outside the sea of mana would cause the onset of aging, especially when she stays there this long, with a stunted aura to boot.
  • Mana arts - (NA)
  • Abilities - (4)
  • Items - (7)
  • Total power level - (5)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (5)
  • Plausibility - (2) - Caravan's reaction seems uncharacteristically 'nice', especially considering she just stole some of their wares.
Conclusion: Refused.
==

Malyuta Skuratov
Character: Malyuta Skuratov

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (6)
  • Mana arts - (NA)
  • Abilities - (5) - Your fast fingers there seem a bit over the top, going by the description.
  • Items - (6)
  • Total power level - (6)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (7)
  • Plausibility - (7)
Conclusion: Approved.
==

Atrial
Character: Tamin Quartz

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (6)
  • Mana arts - (NA)
  • Abilities - (7)
  • Items - (7)
  • Total power level - (7)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (6)
  • Plausibility - (6)
Conclusion: Conditionally approved.
The Emberi come from a different continent, so there can't have been an Emberi village near Raveran unfortunately. However the family can still have moved to Raveran, or you could change your character to a Halme to avoid the long-distance trek entirely. Either post that your character remains an Emberi and her family traveled far to get where they are, or post that you change her into a Halme, or alternately you can rework the background and repost for a new evaluation.
==

Glithrien
Character: Belrik Malode

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (6)
  • Mana arts - (NA)
  • Abilities - (6)
  • Items - (7)
  • Total power level - (6)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (6)
  • Plausibility - (6)
Conclusion: Conditionally approved.
Nothing to complain about here, but gnomes as a separate race no longer exist - it is simply a (sometimes) derogatory name for dvergar who perhaps have a smoother tint to their skin and larger eyes due to having been born in an area with more light and more uniform rock/mineral composition. It is possible that only other dvergar would be able to tell your character has a mixed heritage. You may want to update his appearance following the new information on dvergar, you can do so by posting the updated appearance in this thread. As for the conditional approval; Like I've mentioned above, please adjust your character's age to around 70ish and post the new age, or alternately rework the background and repost for a new evaluation.
==

SejsCube
Character: Vierstra Melervs

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (6)
  • Mana arts - (0) - 'mana-eating' sorcery does not exist.
  • Abilities - (6)
  • Items - (6)
  • Total power level - (6)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (6)
  • Plausibility - (6)
Conclusion: Refused.
==

AthenAltena
Character: Falma Kyorl'solenurn

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (6)
  • Mana arts - (7)
  • Abilities - (6)
  • Items - (7)
  • Total power level - (7)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (6)
  • Plausibility - (7)
Conclusion: Approved.
==

Hetros
Character: Eronas vrag Duerdrepa

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (7)
  • Mana arts - (NA)
  • Abilities - (4)
  • Items - (4)
  • Total power level - (7)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (8)
  • Plausibility - (7)
Conclusion: Conditionally approved.
From what I've learned, dvergar don't have grenades as such, although they have bombs, including a form of smoke/irritating gas bomb which can be thrown at their enemies and emits said smoke/gas upon hitting their target, like seen in PtP just recently. Carting around 5 explosive mines as well as 10 smaller bombs seems like an awful lot, I'd like you to bring it down to 3 mines and 5-6 bombs (and you can make some of those smoke bombs if you like), please post whichever you decide to do. Also, unfortunately there is no such thing as tremorsense, so please confirm that you will remove that from your character. Alternately you can rewrite and repost the background for a new evaluation. You may also want to update his appearance based on the new dvergar information.
==

Paladin Tim
Character: Aetu'charam Illhar'dro

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (7)
  • Mana arts - (7)
  • Abilities - (7)
  • Items - (7)
  • Total power level - (7)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (8)
  • Plausibility - (8)
Conclusion: Conditionally approved.
Please post his exact age, then you are free to play.
==

Kel The Oblivious
Character: Kel Ragebrew

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (5)
  • Mana arts - (NA)
  • Abilities - (7)
  • Items - (6)
  • Total power level - (7)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (6)
  • Plausibility - (7)
Conclusion: Approved.
This is not a setting which takes kindly to people inventing things or bringing things from the outside. But I thought it was a well done effort, and am going to allow you the described underworld vegetation and their uses. Please do not invent further items during play, as that is not allowed. Also like I've mentioned earlier, you may want to update your character's appearance based on the new dvergar information, just post the new appearance here in this thread.
==

Kraul
Character: Martell "Tuck" Tucker

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (5)
  • Mana arts - (NA)
  • Abilities - (5)
  • Items - (5)
  • Total power level - (7)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (5)
  • Plausibility - (5)
Conclusion: Approved.
==

Fumbles
Character: Fumbles Blaidd

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (5)
  • Mana arts - (NA)
  • Abilities - (6)
  • Items - (7)
  • Total power level - (7)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (6)
  • Plausibility - (6)
Conclusion: Approved.
==

DestyNova1
Character: Isabella Orylson

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (5)
  • Mana arts - (NA)
  • Abilities - (6)
  • Items - (6)
  • Total power level - (7)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (6)
  • Plausibility - (6)
Conclusion: Approved.
As above, inventing things is usually not a good idea, but again the medicinal remedies you described are fine, so we roll with it. If you wish you can update her appearance based on the new dvergar information, and post it in this thread.
==

Pariel
Character: Shamshayid "Shamsha" Aleyrin Val'Beldrobbaen

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (7)
  • Mana arts - (6)
  • Abilities - (7)
  • Items - (7)
  • Total power level - (6)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (6)
  • Plausibility - (7)
Conclusion: Approved.
==

darkdragonfire
Character: Lydia

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (6)
  • Mana arts - (6)
  • Abilities - (7)
  • Items - (7)
  • Total power level - (7)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (5)
  • Plausibility - (5)
Conclusion: Conditionally approved.
Please post the exact amount of money she carries on her person, 3-7 ada would be appropriate. After this you are free to play.
==

Hugeklaws
Character: Lir'driia Deylyl

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (4) - Race should be Ver'drowendar
  • Mana arts - (3) - Light sorcery needed in order to make blinding flashes usable in combat
  • Abilities - (5)
  • Items - (6)
  • Total power level - (6)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (6)
  • Plausibility - (5)
Conclusion: Conditionally approved.
Post to confirm that her race is Ver'drowendar (tainted), and that she doesn't use basic mana techniques to create blinding flashes during combat. After that you're free to play.
Unfortunately it is not a viable tactic to use the light you can create with basic mana techniques to blind people in combat. There's not much room in her life for mana arts (light sorcery in this case) training as you describe her background, so if you wish for her to have light sorcery you must rewrite and repost your character for a new evaluation to include such training. Also you should note that at 12 years old she's the physical equivalent of a human 6 year old. The way you described the fight she participates in at that age is close to the edge of what is plausible and what isn't, but falls within the limits. Also I'm a little skeptical to your use of the word House. Houses in and of themselves are not of the nobility. These aren't D&D drow, so things work a bit differently. But the background itself is fine, if a bit on the extreme side.
==

Bamawing
Character: Wokuhila "Hila" Vloz'ress

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (7)
  • Mana arts - (8)
  • Abilities - (7)
  • Items - (7)
  • Total power level - (8)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (8)
  • Plausibility - (8)
Conclusion: Approved.
==

TheTatteredKing
Character: Treklemmer

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (7)
  • Mana arts - (7)
  • Abilities - (7)
  • Items - (7)
  • Total power level - (7)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (7)
  • Plausibility - (7)
Conclusion: Approved.
It's a good idea to include (tainted) behind the race of a non-drowolath tainted fae, since as far as we know Ver'drowendar is only used about the tainted drowolath, and the inclusion makes it obvious that you indeed intended to make a tainted character. Just a notice for another time ^^
==

novamouy17
Character: Nova
Unfortunately Tei'kaliath characters are not allowed in the current DT rpg.
==

RedKat
Character: Kaet'Arlanii Nal'sarkoth

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (7)
  • Mana arts - (7)
  • Abilities - (7)
  • Items - (7)
  • Total power level - (7)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (7)
  • Plausibility - (8)
Conclusion: Approved.
==

Blue
Character: Aysu Ist'aven Val'Sullisin'rune

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (7)
  • Mana arts - (7)
  • Abilities - (7)
  • Items - (7)
  • Total power level - (7)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (8)
  • Plausibility - (8)
Conclusion: Approved.
==

Zickman
Character: Alderic Rosharak

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (6)
  • Mana arts - (6)
  • Abilities - (7)
  • Items - (7)
  • Total power level - (7)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (6)
  • Plausibility - (6)
Conclusion: Approved.
Do note that Kesha, while an interesting device to tell your character's story, may not accompany your character unless another player writes up a background for her and plays her. Though I didn't get the impression you intended to have her along, just figured I'd mention it.
==

Sarcose
Character: Kato'Jix Vloz'ress

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (7)
  • Mana arts - (7)
  • Abilities - (7)
  • Items - (7)
  • Total power level - (7)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (7)
  • Plausibility - (7)
Conclusion: Conditionally approved.
Please post an exact amount of ada he has on his person, and then you're free to play. Though he could do with an increase in age, as at 46 he is still quite young (and at 30 just 15 physically). If you wish you can also post that you increase his age to 56.
==

Sir Malifact
Character: Murados Doombreaker

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (5)
  • Mana arts - (NA)
  • Abilities - (4)
  • Items - (3) - Molotov cocktails and small grenades not possible.
  • Total power level - (4)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (0)
  • Plausibility - (1)
Conclusion: Refused.
There's a lot that works with this character, but his background before the incident that sets him on his path to Raveran is basically just one long list of battle tactics. That does not a character make. Even the clan description is just battle tactics. How can they afford to lose even a single dvergar to mere culling? You should at least explain this further. "Lame can ride, handless can herd, deaf can still fight. Blind is better than burnt to be, only the dead can do nothing," to paraphrase some old, sage advice. So, do explain why they cull the weak, and how they continue on despite the hardships they place on themselves as well as those placed on them by others. I know this has been said before, but I will repeat it; This is a mainly social roleplay forum. You are free to play a grizzled, angry and quiet battle veteran, but you need to describe -him-, not just how he fights. So I'd like to see a bit more about him, about his motivations (why is he eschewing contact with the others of his clan, why is becoming the ultimate dvergar warrior so important to him) and what makes him tick.
==

DarkandTroubledMagi
Character: Cos'tos

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (5)
  • Mana arts - (6)
  • Abilities - (7)
  • Items - (6) - Though be aware bread is not cheap, spicy spiderlegs or potato bugs are.
  • Total power level - (7)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (5)
  • Plausibility - (7)
Conclusion: Approved.
I would like to see more about him as a character, though, since you don't describe much of his life outside his work. You may play him as he is but I would suggest taking him for a round in the newbie school thread for suggestions as to how his background could be expanded upon.
==

Talice
Character: Nady Yas'dra Val'Sullisin'rune

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (6)
  • Mana arts - (6)
  • Abilities - (6)
  • Items - (6) - Ada are hard rectangles of metal, so it'd be quite uncomfortable to place them in her bra. Do keep this in mind.
  • Total power level - (6)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (6)
  • Plausibility - (6)
Conclusion: Approved.
I seem to recall there was more detail in the background before? Given that at 36 she's barely out of school (which normally ends at 30) she hasn't lived through too much perhaps, but you could still have given her a bit more depth. Do consider this for your next character ^^
==
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Re: Registration thread: version 2.0

Postby blackshade10 » Fri Jul 09, 2010 12:14 am

SejsCube
Character: Vierstra Melervs

Worldsetting accuracy - (6)

- Leather is not something that is common, rather, it is very expensive, people typically wearing primarily silks. As such, for a poor character, avoid the use of leather. Leather is mentioned several times, and I would advise the removal and replacement of all mentions.
The mana affinity mentioned in the history is also inaccurate, look at the Mana Arts section below for more information on that. In addition, I am not aware of Xuile'solen devouring there own kin, at the very least not at birth, so I would remove that as well. I would also remove "read with your fingers" from the history. As far as we know, Fae have not developed braille.
Xuile'solen don't really group together with anyone besides other Xuile'solen, so I would remove the "some drow, some not" bit as well. There is some additional mention of her mana art and of non-Xuile'solen in the next paragraph, alter that as well.

The changes will cause problems with background cohesiveness, look below for more information for that as well.


Mana arts - (0) - As in the original review, there is no Sorcery that allows for the eating of mana. You also say: Raw Mana, this is somewhat confusing, but an overall blanket on this is that the character is a Xuile'solen, and they cannot use mana arts at all, as far as I am aware. They have a stunted aura.

Abilities - (6) - Overall her abilities are fine with the exception of the mana art.

Items - (6) - Her items are fine as well with the exception of the leather, which should be removed.

Total power level - (6) - Also fine, though you still need to remove the inaccurate parts.

Backstory cohesiveness - (6) - Without a sorcery to teach her, and the unlikelihood of a Sorcerer being anywhere near a Xuile'solen group, this might require some new thinking and justification.

Plausibility - (6) - Overall, it's quite plausible with the exception of the previously mentioned points. Fix those and make some changes and justifications to your background and reapply.

Refused.


Any questions can be directed at the newbie thread and any complaints please send to Thalar. Thank you for your cooperation!
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Re: Registration thread: version 2.0

Postby blargargarg » Fri Jul 09, 2010 2:15 am

Thalar wrote:blargargarg
Character: Andy
I regret to inform you that orcs were removed from the list of playable races due to the complete lack of information available even after the worldsetting questions list was answered. Your character can therefore not be reviewed nor approved.


Question: since the specific problem with this character is the fact that he's an orc, would the character be acceptable if his backstory and species was changed so that he was a dwarf, or human? Or is there something else inherent in this character that would make him unacceptable?

If possible, I'd rather adapt this existing character to fit with the setting, rather than having to make a new character just because of a poor species choice on my part.
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Re: Registration thread: version 2.0

Postby blackshade10 » Fri Jul 09, 2010 2:23 am

blargargarg wrote:
Thalar wrote:blargargarg
Character: Andy
I regret to inform you that orcs were removed from the list of playable races due to the complete lack of information available even after the worldsetting questions list was answered. Your character can therefore not be reviewed nor approved.


Question: since the specific problem with this character is the fact that he's an orc, would the character be acceptable if his backstory and species was changed so that he was a dwarf, or human? Or is there something else inherent in this character that would make him unacceptable?

If possible, I'd rather adapt this existing character to fit with the setting, rather than having to make a new character just because of a poor species choice on my part.


That would merit a rewrite big enough that it isn't conditionally accepted, so I would advise you simply take your character, rewrite it as a different race and resubmit it. Though this is just my personal opinion.


*returns to writing reviews*
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Re: Registration thread: version 2.0

Postby blackshade10 » Fri Jul 09, 2010 3:18 am

Sir Malifact
Character: Murados Doombreaker

Worldsetting accuracy - (5) - Here we are again. World Setting wise, you have the following problems: First of all, there is a lot of mention of reforged Drow-steel. This seems incredibly unnecessary, and seems to somewhat imply that the origin of the metals, rather than the technique used to make them, are what makes it. In truth, if those metal are melted down, they lose any special or advanced qualities they had that the smith's knowledge had put into them, just becoming raw materials again. Removal of mention of Drow Steel advised. There is mention of leather in his profile, and all mentions are advised to be removed due to leather rarity among the poorer populations of the Underworld.

Blackpowder: The powder used in Dwarven weaponry is called Explosive powder.

Your background goes on to say things like
taking their weapons and armor so it can be melted down into something a Dwarf can use, while still retaining the unsurpassable quality that all Drow-forged steel has.


These should be completely removed. As a matter of fact, the notion that this rather unrealistic group is ambushing caravans that have anything of great quality, thus clearly having some amazing guards, is also unrealistic. Look at Plausibility for further information.

Another thing is the cannons. Yes, Dwarfs have cannons, but the thought that they are all fired at once and immediately destroy their targets is overplaying their accuracy, efficiency, and most importantly(especially for a nomadic group), quantity.

In addition the toxic gases are potent against the Drow, but do not kill them instantly or even quickly. A recent incident in PtP has Dvergar using these poison gasses and though some are slightly injured, they are not killed. They actually retreat with minimum wounded.

In addition, the concept of a dwarven community that only keeps the strongest is incredibly unrealistic for a species that is border-line extinct.

You mention him killing a Val. Remove that. We cannot interact with Kern's NPC's, and I'm willing to bet that caravan wasn't Sul or Bel.

Mention of a Gnome is there. Gnomes have been removed from the Race list and are no longer considered a separate race from Dwarfs.

You mention "Rites of Mourning". We do not know if such a thing exists for Dwarfs. Remove that as well.

Arriving at the climax of the Daemonic outbreak, he found himself working as an independent contractor, hired out by those whom the Kyorls deemed "unfit" for rescue, and left to die at the hands of the Daemons; the lower-classes, the scum and maggots of society.


There is no proof that this ever happened. As far as we know, the Kyorls helped everyone save tainted; all tainted were destroyed, so they too are not a justifiable employer.



Mana arts - (NA)
Abilities - (4)

He's, according to his background, a "cold-blooded killer". This sounds a lot like the "assassin" archetype we see around here. The assassin archetype rarely has any significant personality, background, life, or events beyond having just killed a lot of things. In a social RP, this is fairly unacceptable. This character fits that archetype. He really is just a character meant to kill things, having amazing fighting abilities and ambush skills, having "perfected" guerilla warfare, having an assortment of skills meant purely for killing and breaking things. Overall, the warhammer, despite it's inaccuracy with the Drow steel, is the safest thing in this character.

Items - (3) - Molotov cocktails and small grenades not possible.
Dwarfs have 2 Explosive Powder weaponry. Some small bombs and cannons. They also have some toxic grenades among their community's. That's it I'm afraid. Previously mentioned armor and weapons being of "reforged" Drow Steel is also something that knocked this down to a 3. If you reforge something, that is, reduce it to it's basic material, you lose the skill at which it was forged.


Total power level - (4)
As mentioned in abilities, the Warhammer is pretty much the only thing here that is really truly safe excluding the reforged drow-steel part. Previously mentioned bits of "perfecting" some battle styles, being completely the best mercenary in all Raveran, better than even the Sarghress mercs, and on and on.And doing all of this at a very young age as well. Overall, it needs major toning down for a Dvergar.

Backstory cohesiveness - (0)

It has none sadly. From the start to the end, it's just about things he kills with other dwarfs. He has no emotions whatsoever, for no apparent reason. Other Dvergar don't like him. I'm going to use one of my favorite quotes. "This isn't a character. It's a set of weapons and powers on a pair of legs." And that is what this character is. Just one that is meant to be a brutal murderer/sociopath that has ZERO place in a Social RP.


Plausibility - (1)

This character is immensely unlikely to even exist, let alone the clan he is from. A dwarven clan that numbers in the hundreds despite the fact that it only accepts that strongest. The likelihood of being able to sustain a population like that is slim to none. The odds of such a group going unnoticed and not destroyed after numerous raids is also unlikely. The fact that he's completely dead emotionally also adds to the implausibility. In addition, his role in Raveran is also equally unrealistic. It's been made very clear that Fae are higher on the food chain here, and a Dvergar breaking that logic doesn't help this character plausibility.

Conclusion: Refused.

Any questions can be entered into the Newbie Thread and any complaints must be sent to Thalar.

There's a lot that works with this character, but his background before the incident that sets him on his path to Raveran is basically just one long list of battle tactics. That does not a character make. Even the clan description is just battle tactics. How can they afford to lose even a single dvergar to mere culling? You should at least explain this further. "Lame can ride, handless can herd, deaf can still fight. Blind is better than burnt to be, only the dead can do nothing," to paraphrase some old, sage advice. So, do explain why they cull the weak, and how they continue on despite the hardships they place on themselves as well as those placed on them by others. I know this has been said before, but I will repeat it; This is a mainly social roleplay forum. You are free to play a grizzled, angry and quiet battle veteran, but you need to describe -him-, not just how he fights. So I'd like to see a bit more about him, about his motivations (why is he eschewing contact with the others of his clan, why is becoming the ultimate dvergar warrior so important to him) and what makes him tick.
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Re: Registration thread: version 2.0

Postby Writeman » Fri Jul 09, 2010 3:29 am

Sweet! Characters approved! Here's hoping I can get my own accepted quickly, I'd be very grateful for it!

Name: Neraph Gurnisson

Race: Duergar (Free Dwarf)

Age: 75

Equipment:
An iron pickaxe
A set of light, but durable, spidersilk work clothes. Consisting of knee-high boots, an apron, a dirty-but-serviceable long-sleeve shirt, pants, and a crude iron helmet with a candlejack attached for working in the darkness of caves.
A heavy (Three-gallon) lizard-skin waterskin.

An over-the-shoulder handbag containing the following:
-A simple iron hammer
-An iron chisel
-Twenty ada for emergency purposes
-A wooden balance
-A small amount of poultices in a glass container
-A piece of flint and iron

A backpack filled with the following items:
-A sharpened steel-headed hatchet set into a little cloth sleeve.
-A whetstone in a cloth bundle
-A twined-wrapped pouch with six ounces of lye in it
-Hacksaw
-Twelve feet of rope tightly coiled
-Twenty days' worth of rations.
-Protective, iron-rimmed goggles with thick glass.

Magic: N/A

Beginning city: Val'Raveran

Clan: None

Background:
Born to a gracious Drow master, Neraph was a slave-dwarf from his early life. He worked in his master's quarry, mining and shaping stone in his early life. His parents were slaves as well, and his birth was under an auspicious sign. His early childhood was mostly consisting of serving loyally, and being educated by his parents in the dying ways of the Dwarven people. His life was a fair enough life, with the beatings sparse and his comprehension of working the world quite sophisticated in regards to the craft he was brought up to follow. His father was a mining slave, a Dwarf bound to serve their Drow master by working long hours within the cramped tunnels of the mines. It was the same fate for himself, mixed with home life where his mother- a member of the lord's waiting staff- needed him to dote upon her with minor tasks about their small, lean-to shanty near the quarry's storage yards. Crowded amongst the other slaves almost like cattle, his entire life was set before him- he would be raised here in squalor, he would be matched with somehow his owner thought amusing, he would have his own family, and then he would die. Though he had made a few friends amongst his fellow mining-slaves, being able to make true companionship was limited by the exhausting work and meager food rations. Another name upon the ledger, regardless of what his own wishes were- and he did indeed have wishes! However, in his early childhood, between days of mining up marble, helping his mother with making whatever they needed in their tiny shanty, and aiding his father with the rigors of daily life as slaves of their Drow master, he eventually encountered a true tragedy. His kind master was assassinated by an economic rival- a fellow Drow that ran a competitive mining business. In the process of the assassination, his parents were butchered trying to protect their Drow master, leaving the young Dwarf under a much more cruel and vicious Drow master.

It was the day of the takeover that he decided to flee. Tired of the life of a slave, and finally realizing that he was- in fact- property to be traded, he begged his way onto a caravan heading to Val'Raveran, the mythical "Free City". Taking only what tools he could carry with him, he arrived in the city itself, managing to slowly crawl his way up from the bottom. Using what stone he could dredge up in the wee hours of the day, he made his living not as a slave, but as a free dwarf. A poorly-paid free dwarf, but a dwarf nonetheless. Slowly, ever so slowly, his life began to crawl back upwards. He rented himself a small shanty from his new bosses, which cost him almost all of the wages he earned, but he has slowly begun to earn himself a savings plan. Now he waits for the day where he can meet a like-minded group of his fellow free dwarves, dwarves that wish to embrace freedom and a new, better life to its fullest extent . There, in his tiny shanty, with what precious food he can gather and buy, lies a Duergar waiting for a better chance at an even greater living.

He currently is under the employ of a new Drow, yet another nameless benefactor from his labors. Having been "hired" by a press-gang of human slaves looking for fresh labor, he was given a bench, a handful of materials and goods, and force-fed the work he needed to do to craft cheap furniture with the sparse and cheap materials presented to him. He now works constantly making chairs, tables, benches, and more besides. The reason for his pseudo-forced recruitment was simple: Few people question the disappearance of non-Drow at the hands of a Drow. Their lot is to be lesser beings in life, inferior to the rightful inheritors. To simply just force coin into their hands and tell them what to do is easy enough- one simply just disposes of the workers that can't learn to do it right, and keeps those that do. It is for this reason that they say Neraph makes a good slave- that is half true. A Dwarf is a good listener. If he listens long enough, however, he just might get ideas.

Description: Standing at 4'3", Neraph is fairly stocky for a dwarf. His beard, hand-braided, reaches down to his gullet. He usually travels with his assortment of standard gear when he is not travelling between home and work. He has a few burn marks around his neck from his days as a slave, but the flesh has mostly left that as scars. His orange hair is cut almost to the scalp, revealing a few stylized tattoos inked into his head. Only a thin copse of hair is left running along the crest of his head. His muscular arms are taut from years of hard work, and his calloused hands have short fingernails at their end, broken and crude things from a life of hard living. He has remained strong, however, through relatively flavorless gruel that he concocts for dinner each day. He wears little in the way of self-stylizing, unable to afford fancy jewelry or other such amenities. If it is one thing he does fashion himself with, however, it is his craft- his home has plenty of self-made furniture, and even a hand-dug basement where he stores his latest crafts. He is amicable to fellow dwarves when he meets them, but otherwise keeps to himself, replying with "Yes, sirs" to his lords, and constantly looking for ways to make more ada. After all, the more he makes, the better a life he lives! He is always, if somewhat hopelessly, trapped in the search for a better life, looking for someone to lead him there.

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Last edited by Writeman on Fri Jul 09, 2010 2:23 pm, edited 5 times in total.
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Re: Registration thread: version 2.0

Postby blackshade10 » Fri Jul 09, 2010 7:49 am

Samechiel
Character: Mu

Worldsetting accuracy - (2) -
Being isolated on the surface outside the sea of mana would cause the onset of aging, especially when she stays there this long, with a stunted aura to boot.


First of all, there are several problems with the accuracy here. You mention platinum as one of the resources that they mine; I'm not entirely sure if Drow use or know of platinum, but it is better safe than sorry.

Next, this downfall of this prosperous town. What exactly destroys them? And so prosperous, yet unable to defend themselves? Despite having been underground for over 900 years? The odds of such a situation, and with no explanation as to WHAT actually killed them, are very poor.

Wandering the underworld as a Xuile'solen is not completely out there, but coming across a HUMAN and DWARF caravan, in the underworld? Simply not going to happen. Such a union doesn't make sense. Further to, the fact that they didn't seem to care that Mu had drunk a large portion of their supplies didn't bother them at all? Also very odd.

She also is said to travel to the Surface, which, depending how old she was at the time, would cause her to age while up there, losing part of her immortality.





Mana arts - (NA)

Abilities - (4)

Ability wise, Mu seems to be almost an alchemy pro despite having spent most of her life never around the field. To have so much knowledge of not only brewery, but of a wide variety of anti-venoms and other medicines.

Items - (7)

Overall not too bad, a little much to be carrying around all at once, but overall not too bad. Still have the above problems.

Total power level - (5)

Same problem as ability's. She knows a lot of a subject despite having only a short time to study it.

Backstory cohesiveness - (5)

Overall makes sense with the earlier exceptions of strange things killing the entire place with no apparent explanation. Also the problem as to why no one fought back in that city.

Plausibility - (2) -
Caravan's reaction seems uncharacteristically 'nice', especially considering she just stole some of their wares.


The above quote and just the general plausibility of everything that happened, such as strange creatures from nowhere, and having a huge stroke of luck and generosity occur to your character unexpectedly.


Conclusion: Refused.


Any questions should be posted in the Newbie Thread and any complaints to Thalar in PM form. Thank you for your cooperation!
Last edited by blackshade10 on Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:19 am, edited 1 time in total.
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