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Registration thread: version 2.0

Re: Registration thread: version 2.0

Postby Darthar » Thu Feb 18, 2010 12:53 am

Round Two

Name: (Lord Val) Ash’Amon Ist’aven Val’Sullisin’rune

Race: Drowolath

Age: 250

Height: 6’0


Equipment:

On Person
105ada
Reinforced Khanda with pointed hilt
A reinforced steel gauntlet. Oversized and plated with several layers of plates. It has a concealable katar that can puncture people from the proper angle.
Ebony Longbow
Dark Blue self made Plate Mail. Kalatha’s tattered cloak.

Auxiliary Items

Simple Canteen
Cooking Knife
2 sets of extra civilian clothing
A plain metal compass
A steel shard from his master
First-aid supplies
Flint and rock
Blood soaked bandage from Cairine
A golden bangle from his mother
Hammer
Tongs
Whetstone
Four foot long rope



Magic: Earth Sorcery

Metal High Art: Amon trained to the necessary extent of crafting quality metals.

Mana Manipulation: Proficient. He has learned aura vision.



Beginning city: Chel'el'sussoloth


Clan: Val’Sullisin’rune

House: Ist’Aven


Background:
Amon was born into a house that favoured fanaticism and worship towards their Illharess. He was the first born of Arsha Ist’aven, and developed a personality traditionally associated with a first born. His mother frowned upon having a male as her first child, but relented when her first girl was born.

He had an innate fascination with the history of the Sullisin Empire. He would often read and instruct himself in the origins and trials of his dark elves ancestors. He learned about a famous female smith who crafted and supplied some of the finest weapons within the ancient Sullisin empire. Enraptured by her mythical beauty and craft, he dedicated himself to become exactly like her.
He was sent to the Orthorbbae like any other Val male. At the towers, he passed with average to above averages marks. He invested his time in studying through the vast volumes of the library. Any amount of information on smithing, the mythical smith, and weapon concepts he focused on. At this time, he encountered someone who would for better or for worse become an integral part of his life. She was a noble and from the Illha’dro. Her name was Cairine.

The Sullisin'rune befriended Cairine. She had a rich air about her. Poised, concise, and assertive, her conviction towards her principles impressed the young drowolath.She appreciated his dedication to metal crafting and the two shared an interest in Chelian and drow history. The two would spawn a friendship that lasted until their days in the Orthorbbae ended.

It was during the final years of his schooling, that Amon solidified the deep rooted ideals he would stand by for the next two centuries. A Sharen boy had always troubled him when he was younger, and acted like a stereotypical royal. The Sharen and his cousin tormented a fellow classmate of theirs, a timid, intelligent, but physically inept Illha’dro. Amon passed the two and heard them.
Amon heard the boys insult and attack the Illha’dro. He fought with the two of them, and managed to rescue the frail boy. He left him with a parting message about standing up for himself before Amon

Amon returned to his clan and for the next fifty years served the mandatory service his clan required. He continued to hone his craft and improve his natural abilities. While in his service, he His first pieces of armor and weapons tended to be average. Frustrated with his progress, he scowered the house’s library as he head in his youth. He knew that someone like the smith must have left behind works, instructions, concepts. He spent the next five searching. After a tireless search, he managed to find the designs he was looking for. He found the sketch and rough outline of a blade that was used during the Sullin empire and a steel gauntlet.

Amon spent the next three decades replicating countless failures of the weapons. The metal wasn’t the right material, or did not matched what the smith had commented in her notes. During the time period, he dedicated himself to learning the high art of metal sorcery. He struggled to learn the basics. Over time he adjusted and specialized in strengthening and augmenting metals. He paused from his personal work; Amon focused on apprenticing himself to a master smith within the clan.
Amon spent the next thirty years learning the practical side of smithing. He learned how to improve his smelting techniques, and various other required skills.

Ten years before the Nidraa’chal War, Amon returned to his life work. He commissioned his own shop; he became a valued competitor within the Sullisin’rune district and continued to correspond with his first master. Someone knocked upon his door during the first few months: the trader he had met in his youth, Kala’tha. The two continually chatted and like anything else, grew closer with a trusting familiarity. After two years of a peaceful, habitual relationship, the two became linked for the time being. He had found his inspiration once again in the Val.

One night, he came upon an excerpt that he had read in his youth. The smith wrote: “Without an unbreakable conviction, no amount of work you craft will ever live up to its potential. Only when you find your principles and live by them, then-and only then- will you become a true smith.” A simple set of sentences inspired him. He could not replicate her vision of the blade and gauntlet. He modified the designs and over the next six months perfected the blade and gauntlet. Finally, his first lifelong dream became his reality.

The Nidra’chaal conflict engulfed Chel. On the first morning, Amon awoke to the city in chaos. He had a choice: flee to the sanctuary of his house’s home or stay and try to help. He had no time. He donned his minted gear and fled through the streets towards the sanctuary to defend his home. Along the way he ecountered the remneants of recent deaths and skirmishes. He quickly raced towards his home.
He managed to reach the Sullisin’rune dome and aided in the front line defense of his home. He heard no word from Kalatha for a while. He later received a letter from her brother, the boy he had defended centuries before, she had perished in the war. The brother gave him her blood stained cloak as a memento of her memory. He solidified his uncompromising convictions and vowed to only live for his ideals and the advancement of his clan.
Description:

Height:6’0

Weight:179 lbs

Eye Color: Heteorochromia. His left eye is Green and his right Silver.
He has two identical vertical scars from an ambush along his eyes. He has the traditional markings of the Sullissin’rune tattooed along his eyes as well.

Amon’s upper body has various tattoos along his torso, arms, and back that symbolize elements of the ancient Sullisin Empire. He has small tattoo that represents Kalatha’s death along both his wrists.
Amon favors solitude towards open discussion. He is calm, detached, and jaded on the surface. In reality, he is passionate about his craft, has a penchant for fine pipes, and enjoys the benefits of being a Val’Sullisin’rune. He also has a strong sense of responsibility and justice towards the common people and those wrongly persecuted.
Playing Zone: EST.
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Re: Registration thread: version 2.0

Postby Alric » Thu Feb 18, 2010 3:46 am

Name: Fael'an Am'saag Sarghress

Race: Drowolath

Age
: 217

Equipment
: Wears white robe with purple cuffs/lining and blue cloak with blue shirt and grey trousers, boots. The Sarghress logo is emblazoned on the front of the lower front part of the robe and on the cloak proper. He usually carries around several ada with him on his person, as well as vellum and a quill, and a flask of water or two. He carries a dagger with him whenever carrying about a sword is looked down upon in Orthorbbae.

In room at Orthorbbae: One handed long sword.
-Books and scrolls on mana arts, history, especially military history
-Desk with quills and writing material.
-Small fountain
-Extra clothing
-80 ada
-bust of Quain'tana
-Tapestry of a Sarghress battle; aside from these, his room has a quite Spartan décor.

In classroom
-Maps of several military campaigns and battles on walls

Magic: Water Sorcery, Ice High Arts

Starting Place: Chel'el'sussoloth, Orthorbbae, Dravyd

Clan: Val'Sarghress

Family: Mall, mother. Bith'lann, father. Der'driu, older sister, Naas, younger sister

Background:
Fael'an was born into the Sarghress Am'saag sub-house. Growing up surrounded by a strong military tradition made him driven for success at an early age. His talent for intellectual pursuits and the mana arts were apparent from a young age, so his family decided to send him to Orthorbbae; the Sarghress clan was in great need of skilled mana specialists, after all.

Whilst studying at Orthorbbae, Fael'an found out that he would curry no favors being a Sarghress. Many fellow students, especially those from hostile clans, looked down on him. Fael'an became discouraged and told his family of these events, even hinting that he may leave school. His mother, Mall Am'saag, would hear no talk about leaving Orthorbbae and she demanded that he try harder and not listen to "the spoiled dragon spawn. You're the only one responsible for your own success there. There may be a time in which it will come down to you to determine the well-being of the clan. Do not bring shame to your name, or that of the clan itself." Fael'an returned to school, resolved to study harder, but also spurred on by the threat of bringing shame to his family's name.

Ever since he was young, Fael'lan was immersed in epics of heroism and courage under fire from heroes such as Quain'tana, Quill'yate, and more. He loved to spend his time outside of study and exercise to learn more about these exploits, and the actual history surrounding them (not to mention those of other clans and their respective ancestors as well). Inspired by these old legends and historical accounts, Fael'an began to shape himself mentally and physically into a warrior like those he had read and heard about.

Upon graduating at the age of thirty, Fael'an joined the Heavy Infantry and took part in a campaign or two, where he had his first experiences of real combat. Though he is loath to admit it, Fael'an personally found the library and lecture halls of Orthorbbae a bit more to his liking. Nevertheless, it gave him renewed direction in life and helped the young Sarghress build a sense of respect and admiration for his clan and clan mates.

After completing the required decades of military service to the clan, Fael'an returned to continue his studies on a higher level upon graduating in order to provide his clan with another advanced mana specialist. Occasionally Fael'an went back to the Sarghress clan to help train clan troops and to meet prospective mates that his mother had chosen for him. Though successful in providing them with children, Fael'an never really stayed with them for long periods of time – his obligations at Orthorbbae precluded him staying long in order to watch his children grow up. As he aged he began to take more pleasure in the study of mana arts than the companionship of random lovers, and he became more and more dedicated to his work.

Today Fael'an is a teacher of history and offensive mana arts at Orthorbbae. He generally is seen as a difficult teacher, one who takes an almost perverse pleasure in giving failing marks to students. Despite this, he generally is open to those who take an actual interest in the subject matter and is known to befriend those who visit him for questions and banter during office hours.

In addition to his magic skills, Fael'an is fairly skilled in unarmed and armed combat. Though he is still more of a scholar than warrior, he still possesses the fury and passion of his people for combat in his veins.

Description:

Height: 6'1" (1.85 m)
Weight: 180 lbs (82 kg)
Eyes: Steel grey
Hair: Parted in the middle, pulled into dreadlocks at the ends, and dipped in red dye.
Other: Generally has a stern, almost inscrutable appearance. His wardrobe tends to match his sorcery…tending towards blues and purples. He wears none of the armlets and ornaments favored by many of his Orthorbbae compatriots.

Timezone: Central Standard Time (UTC -6)
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Re: Registration thread: version 2.0

Postby Thalar » Sat Feb 27, 2010 6:06 am

Character: Pierce Smithson
Creator: The Black Mage
Reviewer: Bamawing

It sounds like you want a very powerful warrior character. That's cool, but there are two pretty big problems with the one you've written so far.

One: He's human. Yes, there are human warriors in DT, but there aren't many, and they aren't as powerful as the drow that they live beside. Drow are larger, stronger and have studied for longer. Period. A human that can best an equally trained and armed drow doesn't exist in this world.

The bezerker part is up to you, but I would avoid it. Sure, these vikings were feared by the law-abiding citizens of northern Europe. But I suspect that seeing a warrior suddenly start foaming at the mouth and biting his shield wouldn't frighten a drow. Berzerking is not hyperfocus; it is the opposite.

Two: even if you changed his race, he's still too powerful/skilled. He's a master smith, a master warrior, and dabbles in medicine. That's too much for a single 21-year-old to manage. That's an awful lot for a 121-year old to manage! Pick one skill area for him to excel, or else make his skill in all things mediocre.

The village razing seems a little vague. Drow think of humans like we think of dogs. They'd be more likely to come up, demand all the meteor metal, and then take everyone as a slave.

Finally, his trek through the underworld seems undeveloped. He would need a guide, at the very least. More likely he would travel with a group of some description. He's also more likely to make his challenge in Raveran or somewhere... any unattended human in Chel would get a slave collar slapped on him in no time flat.

So knock the power down a notch (or three) and rework some of the background. We're not a hack-and-slash RP, so having a warrior that is on the weaker side isn't really so bad.

Refused.

--

Character:Mi'nata Mae'yukir Shargress and Fa'tima Kyorl'Solenurn
Creator:Aerisa.
Reviewer:Alric

Pretty good, except for a few, yet quite major, problems; for one, twins don't share auras; they may be very similar, but they are not linked. Lightning sorcery is expressly forbidden in the RP – it may (and it's a big may) exist among some fae on the surface, but as far as we are concerned it is impossible.

Most of the backstory is quite interesting, but I do warn you about having a personal NPC slave that accompanies you. Normally such things are not permitted. Pets are generally frowned upon as well.

Refused.

--


Character: Zair Bloodwing
Creator:Sir Malifact
Reviewer:blackshade10

Hoo boy.


Name: Seeing as this is likely connected to the race...


Race: Dracopyre. Not an available race. Vampires don't even exist in this world setting. Dragons exist in 2 types: The semi-inteligent beasts rode by the Sharen and the highly intelligent dragon race which we know very little about. Here is a list of playable races: viewtopic.php?f=52&t=12195&p=588902#p588902

As for his equipmet: "Soulblade" is clearly a magical weapon, which is not allowed in the DTRPG. The material it's made out of, "adamant" is more or less the equal to "adamantine" I assume that exists in Drowtales. Weapons cannot be made of adamantine, and no sword can have the power to cut through even the strongest alloys.

The mentioned of magic tomes of dark magic and Necromancy are also inaccurate to the world setting. There is no such thing as a magic tome, unless that tome is simply filled with writings on how to use magic. The book itself would not grant you the ability to cast magic, nor would reading it allow you to suddenly use that magic. Furthermore, the concepts of Dark magic and Necromancy are vastly different in this setting. I'll explain that in further detail below.

As for your armor: There is no such thing as a Death Knight in Drowtales, and there is no such thing as Netherweave or Voidbone. And as I've said before, armor and weapons cannot be made out of adamntine.

Magic: Necromancy is a Mana Art that is simply a very complex and difficult golem art. It involves getting the corpse and modifying it to serve you as a golem. Golem Engineering is one of the most difficult and complex mana arts, requiring a great deal of study. Also, it should be noted that only Fae can use mana arts. The list of playable races indicates what races are Fae and which aren't.

His background... While very interesting, and quite plausible in some settings, has some flaws that could carry over in different forms.

Most of the beginning is impossible, as Vampires do not exist in Drowtales, as I have said, and dragons exist in the semi-intelligent dragon rode by the Sharen, and the intelligent dragons that we've yet to see in-comic. As such, most of what occurs in his childhood is not possible, but a certain part must be noted upon. Just before the ancient dragon is killed, he gives all his power to a small child. Excusing the slim chances of a described evil creature sacrificing itself for a child, one does not get powers of an untold scale like they are handed out like cookies. That breaks the power level for the DTRP.

Down farther, you mentioned orcs. In drowtales, what little we know on them is that they are a nomadic species, and little more than that. We have nothing to prove that they are a particularly violent or war-like race, so we cannot assume that they are. Also, after having lost his family, he joins a militia, and by the age of twelve, is killing older and more experienced fighters by the dozen. This is also far beyond the DTRPG power level.


Now, down to when his "powers" awaken. This brings me back to my point on power being handed out like cookies. This is so far beyond the power level for the DTRP, that it is not possible at the slightest. Your character must be at an acceptable medium level of power at the maximum, not at the level of ancient beings of immense power.

You're account of the attack has various World Setting errors. Drow on the surface are either Highland Raiders or slavers, typically, not warbands. Also, it is the Underworld in this setting, not the Underdark as per Forgotten Realms. Also, A Dark Elf and a Drow are different creatures. A Dark Elf is a brown skinned fae from the surface, and a Drow, or Drowolath to be specific, is a decendant of the Dark Elven race that was drivin underground about a millenia ago. As for the magic mentioned; there are no spells of invisibility and there is no teleportation in Drowtales. Also to note, drow don't typically use poisons in combat as the ones in Forgotten Realms do.

Continuing, you note that she is around his age. I shall take the opportunity to mention that drow age at half the rate that humans do and stop aging at approximately 60. They have mental capacity two year behind humans. (( A 48 year old drow would appear 24 and have the intelligence of a 46 year old human.))

The next bit on her experiences at school are more accurate than the rest, but has several more inaccuracies. Houses don't have matrons, they have De'vess. A clan has an Illhar, and a Great Clan has an Illharess. You also mention her going home from Orthorbbae: To make sure you understand, Orthorbbae students stay there. It's a boarding school, so to speak. Either she had just graduated or she was going on break. Another thing to note that if she planned to exile her self to the surface, alone, then she basically exiled herself to die. Drow will age without other drow around after they have grown to maturity.


Continuing,
he could bend steel bars with his bare hands, and could snatch an arrow out of mid-flight, with all the strength of an ogre and the grace of an elf.

Further example of things far beyond the power level of the DTRPG.


Continuing down farther, you mention a "Death Knight". As I said earlier, there is no such thing as a Death Knight in Drowtales. The magic you mention him learning there, as I have mentioned, is inaccurate. Refer to my earlier portion of the review.

On the portion of the tome: As you can guess from this review, nothing like that exists. Also, there is no such thing as a Lich in Drowtales.

On his appearance you mentioned Shadowweave: That material also does not exist in Drowtales.


As you notice, this review is enormous. There are so many inaccuracies and problems, that it truly is a character not made for this setting or this RP. A well written character, without a doubt, but one not suited for this board.

I suggest you head on over to the Newbie thread and ask some questions, throw some ideas around. I'm afraid this character is a bit beyond saving.

If you have any questions at all, please direct them to the Newbie Thread!

Refused
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Re: Registration thread: version 2.0

Postby Thalar » Sat Feb 27, 2010 6:08 am

Over to the preliminary reviews. Another new thing to note is that a conditional approval in the preliminary review can be treated in two different ways:

1) Post that you accept the condition as it is laid out in the preliminary review, thus enabling you to play immediately after accepting the condition,
OR
2) Post a new version of the character sheet with a sufficient explanation of whatever issue needed correction, as explained in the preliminary review. It may be a good idea to ask for help in the Newbie School thread before reposting with the changes.

--

Alric
Character: Kadan'shi Aleiryn Val'Beldrobbaen

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (8)
  • Mana arts - (7)
  • Abilities - (7)
  • Items - (8)
  • Total power level - (8)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (8)
  • Plausibility - (9)
Conclusion: Approved

===

django
Character: Bren Aleiryn Val'Beldrobbaen

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (7)
  • Mana arts - (7)
  • Abilities - (7)
  • Items - (7)
  • Total power level - (7)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (8)
  • Plausibility - (8)
Conclusion: Approved

===

Sir Malifact
Character: Kardun Doombreaker

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (3) - As far as we know there are no dwarven fortresses left that have not been conquered by drow. The dwarves subsist in low numbers (no clan numbers 'in the thousands') in toxic areas.
  • Mana arts - (-) - Not applicable.
  • Abilities - (1) - Please avoid berserking in your next character.
  • Items - (0) - Be aware that the majority of drow forces wear plate armor, against which yon spiked armor would have no tearing effect. Unfortunately tri-barreled rifles do not exist in this worldsetting, nor do dwarven grenades. Also carrying a much too large amount of ammo.
  • Total power level - (-) - Would approach normal levels without the excessive amount of ammo.
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (4) - You spend exactly one paragraph on the background, which is the most important part of the character sheet. Also no explanation of his unusual mindset. One tip: If the rest of your character sheet is bigger than the character's background, you have probably prioritized wrong.
  • Plausibility - (1) - The dwarves are few in number, making the clan quite difficult to imagine existing.
Conclusion: Refused

===

Velleri
Character: Velleri

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (2) - A poor family and the mother's selling flowers?
  • Mana arts - (-) Not applicable.
  • Abilities - (6)
  • Items - (0) - Leather is -expensive-. If you want to play a poor character in light armor, make it reinforced spidersilk, which is commonly available. Healing potions do not exist, pain-soothing herbs (expensive) and salves do exist and might serve as reasonable replacements.
  • Total power level - (6)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (4)
  • Plausibility - (3) - Slavery much more likely than indentured servitude, especially in the case of an untrained petty thug.
Conclusion: Refused

===

Cowhideking
Character: Kronaste

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (7) - Technically at 33 he's a 'late teen/young adult', not a child.
  • Mana arts - (7)
  • Abilities - (6)
  • Items - (2) - What is the purpose of the decorative sword? Where does it enter his life, and why?
  • Total power level - (8)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (5) - Could easily be expanded with more detail without feeling cluttered.
  • Plausibility - (0) - Drowolath or Drowussu, you have to choose one. The background is plausible for a drowolath, not for a drowussu.
Conclusion: Refused

===

Alric
Character: Ash'oka Ist'aven Val'Sullisin'rune

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (8)
  • Mana arts - (8)
  • Abilities - (8)
  • Items - (8)
  • Total power level - (8)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (9)
  • Plausibility - (8)
Conclusion: Approved

===

Picanet
Character: El'banael
- Please use the standard character sheet found in the first post of the Registration thread next time ^^

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (8)
  • Mana arts - (7)
  • Abilities - (7)
  • Items - (7)
  • Total power level - (0) - The described ability to drain a person completely of both emotions and even their soul is simply too much. Also you have to remember people can resist.
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (5) Rather on the short side for over two centuries of living, it seems she simply popped into existence to take care of the De'vess' son.
  • Plausibility - (7)
Conclusion: Refused

===

Phoenix0995
Character: Tallau'wa Sarghress

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (6)
  • Mana arts - (6)
  • Abilities - (6)
  • Items - (6)
  • Total power level - (6)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (5)
  • Plausibility - (6)
Conclusion: Approved

===

Semni
Character: Semni

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (0) - No bastards among drow. Fate of the child unlikely to be connected to that of the father,
  • Mana arts - (5)
  • Abilities - (5)
  • Items - (2) - Items in the 'fieldmedic' pack must be detailed. Leather is expensive. From where is he getting his drug?
  • Total power level - (5)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (4)
  • Plausibility - (5)
Conclusion: Refused

===

Inquisitor
Character: Lua'shalee

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (8)
  • Mana arts - (0) - Unfortunately, I've learned today that Sound is not available as a sorcery, thus you will have to rework parts of your background to either reflect that your character knows Spellsong, or has a different affinity. Learning Spellsong requires expensive Illhar'dro teachers.
  • Abilities - (7)
  • Items - (7)
  • Total power level - (7)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (6)
  • Plausibility - (5) - She's 352 years old and yet nothing has ever happened in her life that stood out in any way?
Conclusion: Refused

===

Maria Val'Sarghress
Character: Rishi Xyrrai'zestu Sharen
- Normally one is expected to ask the creator of a subhouse before using that subhouse in one's background. I realize the Xyrrai'zestu have transcended a barrier by becoming canon, so I won't hold it against you. ^^

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (8)
  • Mana arts - (7)
  • Abilities - (7)
  • Items - (7)
  • Total power level - (7)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (9)
  • Plausibility - (8)
Conclusion: Approved

===

Bamawing
Character: An'vero Permos's

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (8)
  • Mana arts - (5) - High arts: biological elements is not an available option.
  • Abilities - (7)
  • Items - (8)
  • Total power level - (7)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (7)
  • Plausibility - (8)
Conclusion: Conditionally Approved - Post that the Mana arts field is meant to read Fire sorcery (beginner), High Art: Air (beginner), OR rewrite and resubmit.

===

Darthar
Character: Ash’Amon Ist’aven Val’Sullisin’rune

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (6)
  • Mana arts - (7)
  • Abilities - (7)
  • Items - (7)
  • Total power level - (7)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (2) - Cairine or Kalatha, cloak or bandage memento? Things get a bit confusing here, as if you've edited parts of the background, but then forgot to edit all of them. Urgently needs clearing up.
  • Plausibility - (7)

Conclusion: Refused

===

Alric
Character: Fael'an Am'saag Sarghress

  • Worldsetting accuracy - (8)
  • Mana arts - (7)
  • Abilities - (8)
  • Items - (8)
  • Total power level - (7)
  • Backstory cohesiveness - (7)
  • Plausibility - (8)
Conclusion: Approved
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Re: Registration thread: version 2.0

Postby blackshade10 » Sat Feb 27, 2010 6:57 am

Sir Malifact: Kardun Doombreaker

World Setting Accuracy: Here we go. As in the preliminary review, there are no dwarven fortresses left unconquered and there are no settlements or clans that number in the thousands. The beating that the drow gave them crippled them horribly, leaving them at the edges of the Underworld. He also possesses technology that Dwarves cannot have, explained further in the Items section. There is also no “berserker trait”, and berserking is disadvantage. Read more on that in the abilities section.

Mana Arts: N/A

Abilities: Berserking is not an advantage. It causes someone to give in to their anger, making them attack in an either unpredictable but sloppy way or a enraged but simple way. Either way, any skilled fighter will find it laughably easy to parry, deflect, and beat such a person. There is a reason that people taunt others in a fight. Berserking does not make you immune to pain or damage. Furthermore, controlling your rage, or your anger, means to not succumb to it. Please avoid Berserking in future characters.

Items: As in the preliminary review, your armor will do little against an armor plated drow warrior. Blades typically cannot pierce plate. Tri-barreled rifles do not exist in Drowtales, and neither do grenades, thus, you cannot use them nor can you invent them. If the technology has yet to be developed, RP characters aren’t allowed to create them. Also, the amount of ammo you carry, in the hundreds, is far too much. The different kinds of ammo are also not allowed as such technology has not been developed so you cannot use it. Also: Silver and Copper pieces are worthless as currency in the Underworld. People trade in Ada and half-ada primarily, at least among drow.

Total Power Level: His amount of ammo and the rifle basically makes him have the ability to churn out dozens of bullets a minute, and that is just not acceptable. As a Dwarf, he is weaker than Drow. Period, end of story. You must meet the acceptable power level for a Dwarf. Not for a total RP power level, but for a Dwarf, and that will leave you below Drow every time. Drow are a naturally superior race, at the top of the food chain, so keep that in mind.

Backstory Cohesiveness: His background is dismally small, barely scratching upon his personality and lacks any key moments in his life. I know more about how he fights than WHY he fights. We must know him, his mindset and personality with much greater detail.

Plausibility: As Thalar has said, what with the Dwarves in such a small and pitiful number, the idea that a clan numbered in the thousands, with a fortress and a strong fighting force is pretty much has the chance of pretty much nil.


Refused with this reviewers personal advice to start with a new character idea.
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Re: Registration thread: version 2.0

Postby Bamawing » Sat Feb 27, 2010 4:55 pm

Player: Semni
Character: Semni
Reviewer: Bamawing

First off, let me welcome you to Drowtales! Getting approved on the first try is really hard - please don't feel bad. We're still really glad you're here. We'll give your character a bit of tweaking and he'll be ready for another go. :)

One of the problems is easy to fix: the roles of fathers and mothers. Fatherhood means practically nil in drow society... few drow know who fathered them and even fewer care. All children are "bastards" in that respect. Being the son of a disgraced female would fit better. (While we're on the topic, it would be a little more believable to have the daughter of a disgraced female looked upon with some suspicion. Semni is a name that could go either way if you wanted to play a female.)

Another thing you may want to do is flesh out his clan a little better. Why are they getting into so many battles? Who are they fighting? Are they really so widespread that he fears they'll recognize him? (Or is he just paranoid, after years of empathic abuse?) Also bear in mind that drow have unalterable auras, so even after his (painful and expensive) "plastic surgery," anyone who knew him well will know who he is.

Finally, items. Most people have the exact opposite problem - they have long, over-detailed descriptions that need to be cut down. You get to go further! What do you think would go in a drow field doctor kit? Bandages? Ointments? Don't forget that in the underworld, things like leather and wood are very expensive, while metals are rather cheap. (This also applies to your armor.)

His drug is intriguing. Would it be similar to distilled alcohol or perhaps something from the surface? Keep in mind that if the latter is the case, it's going to be crazily expensive. Between that and the leather armor, you might even want to place him in Raveran, where he can journey to and from the surface, earning his pay by protecting merchant caravans and stocking up on his drug.

Please feel free to post in the school thread if you have any questions. It's great to have you here!
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Re: Registration thread: version 2.0

Postby Bamawing » Sat Feb 27, 2010 5:04 pm

No bio high arts? Poop. Oh well - I accept the condition. Air sorcery for me!

Name: An'vero Permos's "Vero" or "Ver"

Race: Drowolath

Age:
24

Equipment: a modest collection of fine clothes, massage oil, hair accessories. A dagger that looks more like a decoration than a weapon. His allowance has recently been upped to 20 ada every Orthorabbae break.

Magic: Air high arts (beginner)

Beginning city: Orthorabbae

Clan: Guild of Flowers

Background: An'vero is the firstborn child of Mafulle Permos's. The Permos's family is a long-standing one in the high-class call-girl Guild of Flowers. For generations now, Permos's women have cherished their firstborns, male or female, believing them to be lucky. An'vero was given every luxury his considerably powerful family could afford.

The Permos's have a specialty: sauna and heated massage. It was to nobody's surprise that An'vero had a gift for basic mana manipulation. When he entered Ortho, he already had a good grasp on the subject, thanks to the tutorage of several aunts, a great-grandmother, and Maulle herself. Partially due to this head start, he rose to the head of his class. It is his 14th year at Ortho, and he is very excited about adding air to his list of controllable elements.

Personality: All this school success and special treatment have made Vero a bit of a snob. He's not afraid of "hard work," but he defines this as running a sauna/bathhouse/massage parlor/brothel. He's happy to give you an oil massage, but that's as dirty as his hands are going to get.

Description: Vero is just starting to enter the awkward years of puberty, and finally is starting to look more like a boy than a girl. He wears Oriental-style robes, sometimes with an obi sash or two. His wardrobe tends toward lavender and pale green, to match his eyes. Green is his favorite color, but he knows how expensive it is. He has waist-length hair with a few pale green streaks. He likes to wear his hair up - it won't interfere with massages or mana use, plus he can arrange it carefully to show off the green.

Time Zone/Activity:
Oh shoot, I'm not sure. I live in Germany, which is an hour later than GMT. I'm on here way more often than I should be ^^; but I don't always post very promptly. Give me about a day / once every other day.
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Re: Registration thread: version 2.0

Postby blackshade10 » Sat Feb 27, 2010 10:14 pm

Cowhideking:


Worldsetting accuracy – As in the Preliminary review, he is of the teen range rather than a child.
Mana arts - All good.
Abilities – Also fine, though take note that halberds are very heavy and unwieldy, as you’ve noted in your abilities section, and that it will slow your agility based fighting style down.
Items - All good except the sword. You use the word “possibly”. This is a very bad thing. There is no “maybe’s” or “possibly’s” in your character sheet. We must know where, when, how, and from who you got it.
Total power level – All good here too.
Backstory cohesiveness – Overall it’s not that bad, but a little more detail, some insight to some important events and some explanation as to who this master was, as well as some information as to what he did when he was on his own would all be very good.
Plausibility - In your description, you list him as a Drowussu. Change that to Drowolath if that is what you meant.
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Re: Registration thread: version 2.0

Postby blackshade10 » Sat Feb 27, 2010 10:25 pm

Picanet
Character:
El'banael

World Setting Accuracy: Perfectly fine.

Mana Arts: Fine, but some clarifications on its limits need to be done.

Abilities: Also fine.

Items: A-OK.

Total Power Level: Not so fine. Her powers aren’t really explained at which level they grow, and they all have an effect on which she uses them on without them noticing. Empathy can be noticed, especially at a young age when you still learn control and effectiveness with it. At Orthorbbae, she wouldn’t have the ability to make her teachers not care without them noticing, even if she could have that level of effect on them at that age. Also note that the use of Empathy does require energy. Now, on the complete drain on victims; yes, it’s possible, no it’s not easy nor does it require little energy. It would be a difficult task, one that would require a great deal of energy, and has no certain chance of success on a target, and for the DTRPG, would not work on a sapient being. A permanent effect on someone is a bit out of range for a DTRPG character, since it’s more or less the complete death of someone’s mind. Some heavy clarification as to her limits and knowledge that the effects are not irresistible need to be made.

Backstory Cohesiveness: This isn’t that bad, but some more information as to how she grew up and any notable events that occurred during her life would be very beneficial. Seeing as the De’vess son is not born until she turns 155 that leaves a lot of room for some more information. Some experiences as she traveled the surface, people she is familiar with in the house, etc.

Plausibility: With some additional information for the previous two categories, I believe the plausibility will go up.

Also, transfer the sheet over to the standard format please! Thank you!

Refused.
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Re: Registration thread: version 2.0

Postby blackshade10 » Sat Feb 27, 2010 10:26 pm

Inquisitor
Character: Lua'shalee


World Setting Accuracy: All good.

Mana Arts: It looks like Sound Sorcery is no longer an acceptable sorcery, leaving just Spellsong. You can work in the Spellsong through various ways, such as through an Illhardro parent, reasonable with the Sullisin’rune, or choose a different affinity. As a Sullisin’rune, it’d be possible to get such funding if it is deemed by the house as worth the investment, such as her showing devotion to learn.

Abilities: All good as well.

Total Power Level: Also good.

Backstory cohesiveness: It’s a tad vague as to how her life progressed. It’s clear what she did during her life, but not quite the order in which it was done, and it lacks any key events that form or shape her personality, or ambitions. What conflict triggered the desire for violence and why is she so ambitious? What drives her and why?

Plausibility: As above, the lacking of key events or notable moments in her life makes it somewhat lacking, but far from poor. Some elaboration would be greatly useful.

Refused.
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Re: Registration thread: version 2.0

Postby blackshade10 » Sat Feb 27, 2010 10:27 pm

Darthar
Character: Ash’Amon Ist’aven Val’Sullisin’rune

Worldsetting accuracy – The mythical smith is iffy, but not a deal breaker, though it should probably remove or at least add in that the mythical part does not mean the smith is anymore unworldly than any other past Dark Elf. Also note that any advanced creations of the smith will outshine anything Amon can create due to their advanced age. He will be able to replicate it, but not make an exact duplicate.

Mana arts – All good.

Abilities – All good^2

Items – All good^3

Total power level – All good^4

Backstory cohesiveness – The name Kalatha appears in your profile 3 times. The first is in the equipment section. Replace that with Cairine’s cloak. Once more in the final paragraph of the background. A third time in his description on his tattoo’s. These need to be changed right away to make the background function properly.

Plausibility - All good^5
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Re: Registration thread: version 2.0

Postby Alric » Sat Feb 27, 2010 11:05 pm

Velleri
Welcome to DT. Don't worry...my first character had to go through several revisions before being approved, so just follow these guidelines and we'll get you on the right track.

Character: Velleri

Worldsetting Accuracy: Note that flowers are expensive imported items from the surface...it would be unusual for a presumably poor family to be selling such goods and remain poor for long, barring terrible spending habits.

Mana Arts: It's possible for a character to have no affinity whatsoever, but it seems to me that any trained drow would have at least some background in mana manipulation. You might want to add an elemental affinity just for completeness' sake, even though Velleri might not be skilled enough to use it effectively.

Abilities: Seems reasonable.

Items: Leather armor is expensive and not very cost effective, seeing that drow have easy access to metal and spider silk armor, which are far more protective than leather. Reinforced spider silk or mail would fit the background better. Also note that healing potions do not exist - a healing salve is possible however.

Total Power Level: Nothing wrong here.

Backstory Cohesiveness: Could use a little expansion/work, but not bad.

Plausibility: It's more likely that Velleri would have been put in chains and made a slave of the Sullisin'rune clan than made an indentured servant, given that she was just a small-time thug. Perhaps she proved herself somehow and was granted a bit more leeway than most slaves, and later made an indentured servant? Also note that 5'8" is quite short for a female drowolath - the average is around 6'1". Just a reminder if you didn't know otherwise.

Feel free to get in touch with either me, Thalar, or any of the other reviewers if you have questions.
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Re: Registration thread: version 2.0

Postby Thalar » Sun Feb 28, 2010 1:51 am

Bamawing: Since you've accepted the condition and chosen Air as your element, that character is now available to play :)
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Re: Registration thread: version 2.0

Postby Celice » Sun Feb 28, 2010 7:33 pm

((heres to hoping ^^ *crosses fingers*))


Name: Heine Vloz'Ress

Race: Drowolath

Age: 180

Equipment: Basic mercenary armor,
a stolen sword of good quality. The only thing he owns worth anything and that isn't saying much...
a bag of dice (a few weighted tell no one...),
a fork (because all people of importance have this...or at least that is what the vendor claimed... makes eating cleaner too :3)
A dull knife (good for cleaning the dirt out of your boots, cleaning your teeth, and stabbing bugs...but not much else)
sometimes has some sort of small bit of food of him if it was pay day that day :3

Magic: He can manage VERY little in just basic manipulation.

Fighting: Brawler's knowledge and street wits. Un-disciplined in all respects. Not above making cheap shots or capitalizing on someone with their back turned. Not one to edge for one on one fights.
Beginning city:
Chel'El'Sussoloth....he doesn't get out much :3


Clan: Vloz'Ress

Background:
Heine began life in the slums of Chel'El'Sussoloth born to a prostitute of a hole in the wall brothel that catered to the poorest pleasure seekers. His mother didn't remember which client was his father nor did it really matter in the long run. What tickled her was she was a mother now due to Sharess's blessings. To say the least, after some fiasco back in the day where she was almost killed and knocked her head a little too hard against the wall, she became a born-again Sharess faithful. She attempted to be a mother but she was not very successful. The owner of the brothel didn't care about the child and merely just pushed it away leading to scraps for food, what his mother could breast feed when not working double shifts, and long hours of whimpering bawling in his own filth. He grew up mostly on his own, his mother teaching him as soon as he could how to take care of cleaning himself up and staying out of her. She also told him to bite his tongue and never speak to anyone more important then him. As a child he saw his fair share of naked women in some positions a child shouldn't be exposed to at such a young age, males as well. From that point on seeing people in a less then dressed state has failed to impress him. Hard to get worked up about something that was a common occurrence in upbringing. Due to his scrawny build from malnutrition as a child which gave him a more undesirable appeal, he was never drafted to being a whore but instead was more or less a gopher getting things for the workers and owner and keeping out of sight and mind.

Heine was only noticed when he was in his late childhood on the cusp of being a teenager due to his eye color and his frame starting to fill out more at this time. However the owner claimed that the boy was useless due to how pathetic he looked and they couldn't keep him around because of that and besides they had enough male prostitutes as it were! Hence, he was in the streets despite his mother's fretful and constant prostration before Sharess. Truly the reason was more about another mouth to feed then his inability to preform. The boy just stood at the door before wandering off, outside, curious about what was going on in the wide world just glad to be away from his mother and her cuddling happy whore goddess.
Like any teen on its own for the first time, he was to say the least blissfully aware about everything and had that certain arrogant streak that arose to challenge anything. Teen years also came with a big mouth. It was this what got him into a spot of trouble when he loudly said something about an innkeeper's squat and ugly looks comparing the owner to a kotorc. Heine found the comparison extremely amusing and just kept repeating it to anyone who he could coax a laugh out of. The innkeeper whose looks where in question did not find it so.
In the end Heine ended up working for the ogre man cleaning under tables like a rat, finding more table scrap treasures to fill his belly then he had as a babe in his mother's arms. It was his repayment for what he had shouted about the grizzled innkeeper's looks after getting a sound thrashing in which the once cocky teenager learned his place and cried out for mercy. The boy's pathetic nature that quickly went from loudmouth to sniveling subservience was what moved the innkeeper to give him an unpaid job that the work was its own reward.
Life was somewhat bearable as a table urchin. It got food and a warm pile of rags next to the stove with the other table urchins. But you couldn't be an urchin forever. Small kids and teens got around the tables undisturbed like rats, an adult couldn't.
It was probably dumb luck that landed Heine in the streets again. His hand had strayed from some scraps to some ada and was caught. He was lucky a brawl broke out and in the confusion he managed to scuttle out of the place with his hands still attached but a few more cuts on the face then he wanted. Now a nearly full grown adult wash out with no place in life he wandered about until he stumbled upon his first experience in gambling. It was also where he met Carshin with whom he would share a major part of his life with.
Carshin was wild, rambunctious, and manipulative. Heine was more or less a leaderless sheep for the ambitious drow. With a few words and promises Heine was hooked and began to follow Carshin around in all his schemes which usually involved quiet a lot of cheating in dice and card games. Heine picked it up eventually in order for some of the schemes to succeed and when they didn't he became the meat shield for Carshin. If Heine brought it up Carshin told him to hush that he knew what he was doing and Heine should just shut up and take it like a man. So Heine did. And Heine learned that sucking up got you so much further in life then belly aching about things. He continued to get dragged through life by Carshin like a little tag along to the more ambitious drow, his skills in anything where mostly street wits and fighting like a brawler when he had to get out of a sticky situation.There where many close calls with Heine managing to get away by the skin of his teeth or left beaten within an inch of his life. At times Heine had woken up wondering if he was as dead as he was feeling yet Carshin was always around to pick up his meatshield for the next scheme. Not only did Carshin use Heine as a meat shield, a scapegoat when things went wrong, and a brainless partner in crime, he also managed to convince Heine to his bed to keep it warm. Sometimes even to get himself out of a situation he pleaded with Heine to sleep off whatever debt that had crept up to save his neck. It wasn't something Heine enjoyed doing but in the long run he didn't care much. Growing up in a brothel he wasn't one to get attached to whoever he had to back stab, sleep with, or cheat. Yet each new scam brought a new scar and each year Heine was becoming more and more spiteful towards his “bedfellow” as it where. Soon Heine began to even contemplate the thoughts of murder against Carshin somehow. The issue was that Heine was no leader and he depended a great deal on Carshin's schemes to get fed and have even a rat hole of a room to sleep in. Heine remained patient and bidded his time.
Eventually an opportunity to get rid of Carshin. It was upon Carshin's latest scheme that Heine would finally capitalize. The ambitious drow had decided to drag himself and Heine into mercenary work for the Vloz'Ress, just two more willing meat bags for the group to use. The work had a steady pay, food, and for the most part, Heine didn't mind the work. Even the more dangerous jobs he had a better expectancy to live due to some actual know how of how not to get hit and how to actually swing a sword and not kill himself. A brawlers knowledge in fighting and completely honorless and un-disciplined fighting was his forte. However as usual Carshin had bigger and better plans of rising through the ranks and becoming someone of importance. The first thing this involved was stealing the sword of one of the older and experienced mercenaries in the gang they where currently in and plant it in the things belong to his second in command. Carshin of course would take all the glory for knowing it was 'there' while Heine did the dirty work. However, Heine felt a sting of anger towards Carshin over all of this. Never was their a mention of what would become of him when Carshin rose up to his lofty dreams and for the first time in a long time, Heine didn't need to follow Carshin around for survival. The Vloz'Ress where now giving him the essentials of survival. In a street world of drow eat drow, nothing, not even loyalties, could be taken for granted for long.
Heine took the situation into his own hands and double crossed Carshin. He stole the sword, and planted it in Carshin's things.
To say the least, Carshin didn't escape this heist nor could he blame it on Heine. Another meat bag was another meat bag. Heine just sat back as they took care of Carshin ignoring his one time companions cries of agony. Heine might've sucked up to Carshin, but in the long run the threat of backstabbing always existed.
The sword was never recovered after being found. Some whispered it was stolen again while others blamed it on a gamble the commander lost in the end or something. The talk faded off quickly and was forgotten. Heine waited a bit before he switched gangs to alleviate some suspicions on him for being Carshin's bedfellow. At his side he had a roughed up scabbard that look like it held a scavenged sword. In truth, Heine had stolen the sword again, stashed it away from the place, and picked it up while leaving. That sword, to him, had a certain sentimental value as the object that helped him gain his independence from Carshin after all these long years.

He joined up with the Nine Shard Gang after an “opening” became available for a meat shield. He now sucks up to his superiors, does his job, and keeps to himself although he isn't above talking behind backs when he develops a serious dislike of someone and of course he will back stab those he cares little for. There have been a few times when he could of earned a little more rank in the pecking over between the mercenaries but he likes being low key in the ranks rather then setting himself up as a target. Life is still shit but at least now his pay is steady, he has some food, and isn't living under a brothel roof. Life's expectations where not very high to start with anyways.

Description:
Eye color: A purty green color
Hair color: white. You think he can afford that dye!?
Just an average height for a Drowolath male, slightly on the skinny side and sometimes prone to have off bumps and bruises from small fights over a gambling round or two. He is left handed. Some consider him cute in that pathetic kind of way.
He has scars on his face, small ones, from a few brawls he's gotten in over the years but has kept in one piece well enough.

Personality:
He is one of the more loyal mercenaries, liking the whole “Sharess is Dead” ideal quite a lot due to his own dislike of the whore goddess, ((Still convinced that is what she it; wonders why the Kyorl's follow her. Must be something to do with the stick up the ass warden's never getting laid...) and of course he has a steady pay and doesn't want to risk loosing that by switching jobs but if worse comes to worse his own neck and hide is always far more important to living. He is also a suck up if there ever was one always agreeing, always doing orders, but he complains bitterly when off duty and only people around are other mercenaries.
He has patience often allowing things to just be let go or to hold the grudge until the dish is best served cold.
Growing up in a whorehouse for his early life, nudity is nothing new and he has no qualms about it. It isn't embarrassing. It isn't even that embarrassing walking in two people. That's just life. Get over. He doesn't CARE. It takes a lot of work to get him to even flirt back or be a bit seductive back towards someone. Usually though it is for extreme emergencies.

Time Zone/Activity:I pop in all the time XD Post when I need to sometimes at odd hours of the night or day.
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Re: Registration thread: version 2.0

Postby Darthar » Sun Feb 28, 2010 11:25 pm

Final Update. Here's to a good try hopefully.

Name: (Lord Val) Ash’Amon Ist’aven Val’Sullisin’rune

Race: Drowolath

Age: 250

Height: 6’0


Equipment:

On Person
105ada
Reinforced Khanda with pointed hilt
A reinforced steel gauntlet. Oversized and plated with several layers of plates. It has a concealable katar that can puncture people from the proper angle.
Ebony Longbow
Dark Blue self made Plate Mail. Cairine’s tattered cloak.

Auxiliary Items

Simple Canteen
Cooking Knife
2 sets of extra civilian clothing
A plain metal compass
A steel shard from his master
First-aid supplies
Flint and rock
A golden bangle from his mother
Hammer
Tongs
Whetstone
Four foot long rope



Magic: Earth Sorcery

Metal High Art: Amon trained to the necessary extent of crafting quality metals.

Mana Manipulation: Proficient. He has learned aura vision.



Beginning city: Chel'el'sussoloth


Clan: Val’Sullisin’rune

House: Ist’Aven


Background:
Amon was born into a house that favoured fanaticism and worship towards their Illharess. He was the first born of Arsha Ist’aven, and developed a personality traditionally associated with a first born. His mother frowned upon having a male as her first child, but relented when her first girl was born.

He had an innate fascination with the history of the Sullisin Empire. He would often read and instruct himself in the origins and trials of his dark elves ancestors. He learned about a famous female smith who crafted and supplied some of the finest weapons within the ancient Sullisin empire. Enraptured by her beauty and craft, he dedicated himself to become exactly like her.
He was sent to the Orthorbbae like any other Val child. At the towers, he passed with average to above averages marks. He invested his time by studying the vast volumes of the library. Any amount of information on smithing, the mythical smith, and weapon concepts he focused on. At this time, he encountered someone who would for better or for worse become an integral part of his life. She was a noble and from the Illha’dro. Her name was Cairine.

The Sullisin'rune befriended Cairine. She had a rich air about her. Poised, concise, and assertive, her conviction towards her principles impressed the young drowolath.She appreciated his dedication to metal crafting and the two shared an interest in Chelian and drow history. The two would spawn a friendship that lasted until their days in the Orthorbbae ended.

It was during the final years of his schooling, that Amon solidified the deep rooted ideals he would stand by for the next two centuries. A Sharen boy had always troubled him when he was younger, and acted like a stereotypical royal. The Sharen and his cousin tormented a fellow classmate of theirs, a timid, intelligent, but physically inept Illha’dro. Amon passed the two and heard them.
Amon heard the boys insult and attack the Illha’dro. He fought with the two of them, and managed to rescue the frail boy. He left him with a parting message about standing up for himself.

Amon returned to his clan and for the next fifty years served the mandatory service his clan required. He continued to hone his craft and improve his natural abilities. While in his service, his first pieces of armor and weapons tended to be average. Frustrated with his progress, he scowered the house’s library as he had in his youth. He knew that someone like the smith must have left behind works, instructions, and or concepts. He spent the next five searching. After a tireless search, he managed to find the designs he was looking for. He found the sketch and rough outline of a blade that was used during the Sullin empire and a steel gauntlet.

Amon spent the next three decades replicating countless failures of the weapons. The metal wasn’t the right material, or did not matched what the smith had commented upon in her notes. During this time period, he dedicated himself to learn the high art of metal sorcery. He struggled to learn the basics. Over time he adjusted and specialized in strengthening and augmenting metals. He paused from his personal work; Amon instead apprenticed himself to a master smith within the clan.
Amon spent the next thirty years learning the practical side of smithing. He learned how to improve his smelting techniques, and various other required skills.

Ten years before the Nidraa’chal War, Amon returned to his life work. He commissioned his own shop; he became a valued competitor within the Sullisin’rune district and continued to correspond with his first master. Someone knocked upon his door during the first few months: the trader he had met in his youth, Cairine. The two continually chatted and like anything else, grew closer with trusting familiarity. After two years of a peaceful, habitual relationship, the two became linked for the time being. He had found his inspiration once again in the Val.

One night, he came upon an excerpt that he had read in his youth. The smith wrote: “Without an unbreakable conviction, no amount of work you craft will ever live up to its potential. Only when you find your principles and live by them, then-and only then- will you become a true smith.” A simple set of sentences inspired him. He could not replicate her vision of the blade and gauntlet. He modified the designs and over the next six months perfected his own variation of the blade and gauntlet. Finally, his first lifelong dream became his reality.

The Nidra’chaal conflict engulfed Chel. On the first morning, Amon awoke to the city in chaos. He had a choice: flee to the sanctuary of his house’s home or stay and try to help. He had no time. He donned his minted gear and fled through the streets towards the sanctuary to defend his home. Along the way he ecountered the remneants of recent deaths and skirmishes. He quickly raced towards his home.
He managed to reach the Sullisin’rune dome and aided in the front line defense of his home. He heard no word from Cairine for a while. He later received a letter from her brother, the boy he had defended centuries before, she had perished in the war. The brother gave him her blood stained cloak as a memento of her memory. He solidified his uncompromising convictions and vowed to only live for his ideals and the advancement of his clan.

Description:

Height:6’0

Weight:179 lbs

Eye Color: Heteorochromia. His left eye is Green and his right Silver.
He has two identical vertical scars from an ambush along his eyes. He has the traditional markings of the Sullissin’rune tattooed along his eyes as well.

Amon’s upper body has various tattoos along his torso, arms, and back that symbolize elements of the ancient Sullisin Empire. He has small tattoo that represents Cairine’s death along both his wrists.
Amon favors solitude towards open discussion. He is calm, detached, and jaded on the surface. In reality, he is passionate about his craft, has a penchant for fine pipes, and enjoys the benefits of being a Val’Sullisin’rune. He also has a strong sense of responsibility and justice towards the common people and those wrongly persecuted.
Playing Zone: EST.
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Darthar
Nether Spawn
 
Posts: 73
Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2008 6:56 pm
Location: Scrapyard
Clan: Beldrobbaen

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