[Pariel]

101 things Tsabal isn't allowed to do in the TK anymore

1- Belch singing contest with An'jhali
2- Ferals are not food rations
3- Ferals are not my next pair of slippers
4- Cup size check isn't part of the flight startup safety protocol
5- Not even on males.
6- Fila'sofi is not an exception either.
7- Just because naked torsos are a trend among male TK does not mean i should do the same.
8- Air gliders aren't meant to be used for orbital drops.
9- Oily dwarven pitfights aren't a mean of entertainament.
10- Nor are tiktiki pitfights.
11- I will stop asking the mana specialists if they're wizards
12- I will stop asking the warriors if they get arrows in their knees
13- Fire isn't the universal solution
14- The airship can't do a barrel roll. I should stop pestering the pilots if it's possible.
15- My name is Tsabal, not Juancho Master of the Sombrero.
16- The kitchen is not my laboraty.
17- The engine room is not fit for dodgeball playing.
18- Touching random stuff in the engine room isn't allowed. Even if it's shiny.
19- Yodeling
20- An'jhali's proper name is "lady An'jhali", or "Anjhi", not "Spandexbutt"
21- We can't transform and roll out.
22- No more using Anjhali as human shield yelling "plot armor!"
23- The same can be said about Ba'dai's.
24- Or his arm
25- Or his abs.
26- Chucking underwear at people isn't part of the greeting protocol
27- Moreover if it's used
28- Moreover if it's ON FIRE
29- Specially if it's not mine.
30- There are no airlocks on the ship. I can't threaten to throw people out of them.
31- Trying to see if Tiktikis, ferals and dwarves breed true is not science, is a sin against nature.
32- Mooning can't be considered a war shout.
33- Tsabal's Happy Fun Nether Circus is a big no.
34- For that very reason, trying to summon nether clowns is also forbidden.
35- I should refrain about telling my past in the rift when kids ask about it.
36- Specially if it's night and I have a glowstone aimed at my face.
37- For that reason, I should stop also telling my tales to weak-bladder adults.
38- Munchies is not a valid reason for biting random people.
39- I should stop pouring the alcohol stocks in Brorn's tomb to raise him as booze zombie.
40- "Dooter the last to run" is not a valid war strategy.
41- They're dragons. Not seagulls.
42- I am not allowed to test the flammability of each new party we meet.
43- Random midnight attack drills are discouraged.
44- Golem fights aren't allowed
45- Not even with bets on.
46- Freeform Ti'ray does not mean naked ti'ray.
47- Never mix cocoa liquor and Ceak.
48- My homebrew stuff is only for my own consumption.
49- I am not a sky pirate.
50- I do not need to talk like one.
51- Tossing random stuff down the ship
52- Tossing random people down the ship
53- Dwarven cavalry is a big no
54- For that same reason, halmes cavalry
55- Dwarves don't make good pot roast
56- Halmes don't make good barbeque
57- Drow sausages.
58- I am not the wicked Witch of the West
59- Nor do I melt in contact with water
60- Buttcrawling isn't a good exercise in the morning
61- I should stop calling mimians Negros.
62- Drowussu are gray-skinned, not bleached.
63- Not every drowussu is a secret Kyorl ninja agent.
64- Chelians aren't my homies.
65- Not allowed to use summons for pimp rides.
67- Pimp slapping is not a valid martial move.
68- Blood is not a drink.
69- No, we can't make a cannon that shoots hale droppings.
70- Nor a hand-cannon that shoots dawmere poo.
71- Even if it's on fire.
72- I do not have THE POWER
73- Surprise bath raids are not acceptable as source of income
74- Not even in the male baths.
75- The blue skinned gnome with the bagpipes that tells me to burn things is not real and his suggestions aren't that good.
76- Shin kicks.
77- Nut kicks.
78- A chokehold isn't a friendly hug.
79- Setting forests ablaze is not a good way to salute the nals.
80- Not allowed to touch the nal's special stash.
81- Dwarven sweat is not hallucinogenic when licked.
82- Sex quality inspection is not a valid reason to interrupt intercourses.
83- Not allowed to take notes or make suggestions either.
84- I am not a magical girl.
85- Ba'dai isn't one either.
86- The mana specialist's war cry is not "YOU SHALL NOT PASS."
87- Nor I should say it when they want to enter my bed bunk room.
89- The bathroom isn't the best place to hide explosive foci.
90- Empaths can't make heads explode.
91- Ferals aren't good softball balls.
92- Dwarves are even worse.
93- Kick the drow is not a national sport.
94- Natural chemical warfare
95- The gliders are not Children of the Night.
96- Nor do they suck blood.
97- The deck is not a toilet.
98- Streaking is not an exercise of freedom.
99- Morale
100-Surprise wedgies aren't that good of a joke.
101-Piloting.

[Hfar]

I'm surprised number 6 is so close to the top. I would've thought it would take longer for Tsabal to figure that out.

[Jonarus_Drakus]

And now for some counter-arguments and general comments, Take it away Eh'rin!

*cough* Ahem,

1) I agree, bad Idea... But if you can get her drunk enough to go along with it 'willingly'...
2) We have 'faceless' for a reason y'know... *urrp*
3) Not the nice ones anyway. Those Racoon ones are fair game though... I already have three pairs of such slippers myself!
4) Ugh, agreed... Size isn't everything!
5) ...
6) Heh, well... I'd say 'there is an exception to every rule', but I don't want to encourage you, sooo... Only if they state that they are fine with it? (I am not)
7) Nothing wrong with a bit of healthy pride in one's own body... But there are far more suitable times than during diplomatic meetings or combat situations...
...We're still working on that...
9) *shudders*
10) Really? The little tiks are nowhere near aggressive enough for that...
11) They are Sorceresses!
12) Not anytime recently anyway...
13) ...Neither is Ice sadly...
14) Please stop asking that... You give me a heart-attack every time you say that when I'm on deck-watch...
15) Not until you've had 'enough' to drink anyway!
16) Exactly, it's Ketralia's!
17) Don't you mean Dodge-ROCK? (but either way, no, it is not)
18) *nods sagely and points at a warning sign to that effect*
19) *shudders again*
20) Also "My Queen", "Queen Ameranthine", "Highness"... *rattles off a bunch more, then hands over a list... A long list...*
21) Ask Minalia...
22) *facepalm*
23) ...
24) ....
25) ..... Though I can understand the temptation there
26) By the elements... Not again...
27) ...really?
28) ....seriously?
29) Whaaaa....?
30) ...We should really get onto that...
31) Just... ewwwww...
32) Not so sure about that one... I heard about this one Halme that did it and it worked quite well... But then again, t'was a male...
33) DEFINITE NO! -
34) ...Not unless you want to meet the business end of my blade!
35) Yeah... Not happy memories... Did I ever meet you during my brief Chellian Merc career?
36) *rare un-forced laugh*
37) ...indeed... But if you absolutely HAVE to vent, come find me, I can take it.
38) It isn't? *hides the corpse of a faceless and stifles a burp*
39) Heh, good ol' Brorn, that pickled old sot! *sigh* Fun times...
40) I don't approve of "running away" in general (not including controlled tactical retreats, they are different)
41) *shakes head sadly, but can't hide a slight smirk*
42) They told me the same thing about testing the 'freezing point'...
43) What? We have to be prepared for ALL possibilities! We need MORE such drills!
44) Whats the point of HAVING combat Golems if they can't be used to fight (not each-other though, they are to expensive for that).
45) Ahh, so you WERE thinking that! Definitely no! (see above)
46) I'm up for it if you are!
47) ...the horror...
48) *nods in agreement* Same applies to my MY stash!
49) Not unless your drunk, and even then, not 'for reals'...
50) *see above*
51) What...?
52) Make sense will you? Have you been drinking again?
53) Funny, but not practical.
54) Let the halmes try that themselves, we are better than that.
55) ...no...
56) ...also no...
57) Gah! fine! I'll stop eating the faceless! *snrrrk*
58) heh
59) You don't? Awww... *puts down the bucket of water*
60) *snrrrk* Depends on the Butt!
61) Yes, please stop, you made Ze cry! ((liberty taken for humors sake on account of Ze being a D'rak))
62) *nods*
63) *snrrrk* ...Only some of them are...
64) Correct, and I would be intensely suspicious of any of them who try to suggest otherwise...
65) WHAT kind of rides!?
66) HA! YOU MISSED ONE!!
67) Bitch-slapping is... Even if it is far too crude for a real fighter...
68) Depends on who's blood it is, and how its prepared...
69) That would be pointless... and smelly...
70) *see above*
71) ...ewwwwwww....
72) DRUNK Power!
73) ...We need to talk...
74) ...privately... *wink*
75) Do you only see him when your drunk? When I get drunk I see a giant purple furry tiktikki thing... His name is Bob!
76) Perfectly valid,
77) Also valid, if far less classy...
78) No, it is decidedly UN-friendly (but perfectly valid, if crude, in a fight).
79) *glares*
80) You mean their tea? I have connections if your desperate...
81) Gah! I do not want to know how you went about determining that...
82) Not unless you want to join in... In which case that is fine, but you loose the right to complain about the whip...
83) Leave the note-taking to after-the-fact... And no making suggestions, that is a whip-able offense!
84) *snrrrrk* LOL!
85) *facepalm* *giggle*
86) Umm... I don't think they even have one... Put it in their suggestion box? Or did they ban you (for the whole 'wizzard' thing)?
87) Haaaaaave you met Lua? (Trust me, you should let her pass *wink* )
88) MISSED ANOTHER ONE!!
89) No, it isn't... Not unless you want to be stuck on latrine duty for the rest of your life!
90) Don't tell Dycle that... He might try to prove you wrong...
91) No, they aren't...
92) Also true.
93) *eyebrow raise*
94) ...I don't want to know...
95) Not a bad nick-name for a specialized glider unit though...
96) ...that would be stupid...
97) THAT WAS YOU!!??
98) It can be... Under the right conditions/circumstances...
99) its "MORALE!!", Get it right!
100) Certainly not for the recipient!
101) Never again, not while I have a say in it!