Dycle's Past Memories...
So cold does disappointment feel. Unlike the heat of hatred and lust or the sublet warmth of kinship and love. It is cold, followed blindingly fast transition of the thousand different paths one could have taken. It dizzying, unnerving, and then the emptiness of disregard.
This is the world I felt from those who I call kin, sister, brother, mother...all felt the same. Nothing I could do could change it, nothing good enough...or bad enough. Just cold...
I fell into blackness.
The weight of the darkness was nearly unbearable.
I thought of ending it all...
I wondered...
Following invisible currents of emotion...
I would go to a window from which heat was coming...
Sometimes I would see a family, much like my own... crowding around a hearth, eating what little they had...sharing and loving...
Other times I saw a master beat her slaves... the intense pain of flesh flayed from bone, a sickening perverse feeling of joy from the master.
A strange and alien warmth of love from the master...as she inflicted wounds on her property...and perhaps her only lover.
I would follow the cold...
A school house...
The cool of the instructor, a light waft of sadness and occasionally the intense hatred stabbed out when a student was obnoxious...
The young faces, much like my own were a mix.
Many would be in their own world, flipping madly in their thoughts through their boredom. A rare few were so focused and imaginative I could almost see the battles and theories take shape in their mind.
I listened as only I could... The words did not matter. A cool stream gobbled up by a few and dashed against the rocks of many.
Dancing lights of glorious battles past...
The marketplace...
A torrent of minds...
Most a feeling of distrust and deception. The supple hunger of greed... One among them a pin prick of light, a child younger then myself...in blinding awe of the place and its colors and smells...
I could sense something else...
A darkness in the ally way beyond...
Many hungry souls...desperate and searching...searching for prey...
A saw the light and her father...oblivious in their joy, get to close to the darkness...
A moment of fear...desperation...pain...panic...then silence...
The light faded into a flicker...
A crushing heaviness filled that ally way...
Then intense greed as the darkness fell upon the dead...
The torrent of the market place carried on, indifferent and unaffected.
The heaviness lifted...
I saw those monstrous men and women walk out from the ally way...
They bought some meat and bread...then wandered off themselves...Without guilt or sorrow...
The ally way...
I went to the fading light...
She was laying there looking at me...
I was standing in their blood...
Tears were in her eyes, but they has stopped a minute before...She could not move, or even cry...
The light kept fading...I would feel her asking for help...though her throat was slashed nearly to the bone...
The light got dimmer and dimmer...and then nothing.
Gone...