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Re: Fanfic- Demonic Bond (Chapter Five)

Postby Aerisa on Fri Jul 17, 2009 6:34 pm

Note: Chapter 6 will be delayed. My STUPID alarm *KICK IT* didn't ring today, and I don't have time to finish what I need to do on it. Need to go to work.

Sorry everyone.
Stories about Lae'ryza:
Demonic Bond(finished)
viewtopic.php?f=76&t=13359

More to come! *cross fingers*
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Re: Fanfic- Demonic Bond (Chapter Five)

Postby benuminister on Fri Jul 17, 2009 6:41 pm

That shall only add to the suspense.
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Re: Fanfic- Demonic Bond (Chapter Five)

Postby Aerisa on Sat Jul 18, 2009 5:15 pm

benuminister wrote:That shall only add to the suspense.


That's a good way to look at it =3

Okay, here is chapter 6! This is the LAST official chapter before the 3-maybe-4 pages long epilogue, sorry guys! Unfortunately, I have some *COUGH* last minutes problems with a scene of the epilogue, so it might be delayed as well. I'm trying my best to solve it with some help, but since it concern what I think is a very important scene I won't be able to post it until it has been dealt with. Rest assured, most of it is ready(Actually, it all is, I'm only pondering adding a scene is all) and I'm hurrying to try to find a way out of the dilemma I'm faced with, so that it when all of this is solved I'll be able to post it immediately.



Chapter Six-


“By the goddesses get the kids away, she's convulsing!”

Biel watched as his panicked children were picked up by nurses, quickly being carried away. For them, it was best to leave. They didn't need to see their mother in such a state. As for him... he wasn't leaving his mate. Not ever again.

“Get Niar and PicKet NOW!” Ilrae shouted at the nurse next to her, trying to disturb the demon's activity with her empathy. They had failed to hamper it's growth, but maybe... She desperately tried to focus despite the contrasting emotions around. The panic of the children, the heartache and stubbornness of the mate, the rising tension of the warriors near the room... The demon HAD to lose, if it was fighting with Lae'ryza as she felt, she had to do EVERYTHING to make sure it stayed as helpless as possible...

After seconds that seemed like hours, Niar and PicKet ran in the room, followed by... Cres'sin. Before she could ask any questions, all had focused their empathy on the demon, immobilizing it's flow of energy....

Then, as suddenly as it had started, everything ended. The convulsions stopped, Lae'ryza's brain activity returned to normal... slowly, they relaxed their hold on the Demon. It's activity was normal as well.

“It's now or never...”

*-*-*-*

“I never wanted to hurt you, I swear it! But I'm going to die unless I manage to take hold of your body!” She blurted out her answer, hoping it would appease the scary lady still sitting on top of her... yet found that it had the complete opposite effect.

“Do you think I'm stupid or what!?” She said, pushing her more strongly against the ground. “You are a Demon! You don't die if you fail to possess someone, you KILL others to possess them!”

The Demon's eye widened as her jaw dropped. “We.. do that?”

“By the goddesses! Can you really be so ignorant?!” She brought her hand to her face, exasperated. Everything she had learned about Demons told her she was faking, trying to get her guards down so she could take her down more easily... but for some reasons, she couldn't help but feel that she was completely serious.

The Demon sighed, turning her head to the side. “I guess I am...”

“Fine, I'll bite...” She sighed, removing herself from the Demon, sitting on the ground nearby. If she really WAS trying to trick her, there would be hell to pay... “Just who are you exactly? What kind of Demon are you?”

She looked at the girl, bewildered. She actually... believed her? She carefully started raising herself, sitting in front of the girl – but still far away to be out of her reach. “To be honest I.. don't know who I am.” She wrapped her 'arms' around her legs, putting her head on them. “I don't know what kind of Demon I am either, but... if this is what I am... and if they are as you said...” She smiled. “I'm hoping to be a nice one somehow.”

*-*-*-*

Dsieda walked forward, going as near to the bed as she could with the crowd around. It was only meant to be a visit, nothing else, a short trip to see if her friend's state had improved... she knew something was weird when they had refused to let her in because of Cres'sin. His reaction when they heard the scream, and when he entered the room, had proved it.

“Is she...”

A low grunt interrupted her, then another, and another... she turned her head in direction of the noise, a smile appearing in her face as she saw Lae'ryza's eye open, slowly..

“Hey..” She had talked, doing her best to weakly hold a smile to her face... Various squeals and screams of excitement rose in the room as hugs rained over her.

“HEY! Careful people!” Ilrae tried her best to contain the wave of affection, to no avail. Sighing, she decided to wait for it to die down. Lae'ryza WAS laughing and seeming to enjoy herself, with luck...

“Excuse me.” She turned her head, looking at Cres'sin. “Do you happen to know how she can be awake... when that THING in her head is still active?”

Lae'ryza's small voice rose before Ilrae could even exclaim her surprise.

“Because we made a deal.” Moving her hand to her face, she painfully slipped off the bandage, revealing the fleshy mass that had spread and overtaken the left side of her face... “Everyone, meet Mara.”

*-*-*-*

“Your demon FAILED!”

Kir'ima watched from a distance as two women talked. One small and lithe, one tall with completely red eyes.

“It is your own fault if it did! You wanted it tame so that it would obey you, you INSISTED despite my repeated protest that I make it this way! But SOMEHOW you forgot that being tame also made it WEAK, weak enough to fall even to the one it was meant to possess, a mere commoner from a pitiful CLAN!”

The lithe woman brought her hand to her face, sighing.

“You're right... And now that the experimental attempt is in their hands..." She shook her head. "They do not seem to suspect anything, as soon as their attention is elsewhere, we will take it back. Maybe we will be able to correct our failure...”

Kir'ima got up as they turned, silently following them into the darkness of the cavern...
Last edited by Aerisa on Sat Jul 18, 2009 5:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Stories about Lae'ryza:
Demonic Bond(finished)
viewtopic.php?f=76&t=13359

More to come! *cross fingers*
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Re: Fanfic- Demonic Bond (Chapter Six)

Postby Kir'ima on Sat Jul 18, 2009 5:28 pm

lolwut? Uh, no. Sorry, but I'm gonna have to spike that interpretation of Kir'ima.
There is no way, given his background, that he would ever do that. ^^;

Not without an alternate universe and a serious goatee. ^^;
Last edited by Kir'ima on Sat Jul 18, 2009 5:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Fanfic- Demonic Bond (Chapter Six)

Postby blackshade10 on Sat Jul 18, 2009 5:29 pm

Kir'ima wrote:lolwut? Uh, no. Sorry, but I'm gonna have to spike that interpretation of Kir'ima. There is no way, given his background, that he would ever do that. ^^;


Stalk the enemy? :@
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Re: Fanfic- Demonic Bond (Chapter Six)

Postby Aerisa on Sat Jul 18, 2009 5:31 pm

blackshade10 wrote:
Kir'ima wrote:lolwut? Uh, no. Sorry, but I'm gonna have to spike that interpretation of Kir'ima. There is no way, given his background, that he would ever do that. ^^;


Stalk the enemy? :@


I was under the impression that was, y'know, a scout's main job >.>


EDIT: HEY! A part of that scene got erased! ARG! *goes to rewrite it...* -_-
Stories about Lae'ryza:
Demonic Bond(finished)
viewtopic.php?f=76&t=13359

More to come! *cross fingers*
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Re: Fanfic- Demonic Bond (Chapter Six)

Postby Kir'ima on Sat Jul 18, 2009 5:33 pm

Aerisa wrote:
blackshade10 wrote:
Kir'ima wrote:lolwut? Uh, no. Sorry, but I'm gonna have to spike that interpretation of Kir'ima. There is no way, given his background, that he would ever do that. ^^;

Stalk the enemy? :@

I was under the impression that was, y'know, a scout's main job >.>

Not at the sacrifice of innocents like that.
That is seriously anathema to Kir. :A

/edit - oh, wait, so Kir is not in on the plot, and is just following them?
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Re: Fanfic- Demonic Bond (Chapter Six)

Postby blackshade10 on Sat Jul 18, 2009 5:36 pm

He's following from afar, yeah. XD
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Re: Fanfic- Demonic Bond (Chapter Six)

Postby Kir'ima on Sat Jul 18, 2009 5:37 pm

The first time I read it, it sounded like Kir was in on the little secret meeting there.
But now that I read it again, I guess he is just stalking/spying on them.

If so, then carry on. ^^;

/edit - Thanks for the edit. That makes it much clearer. ^^
Last edited by Kir'ima on Sat Jul 18, 2009 5:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Fanfic- Demonic Bond (Chapter Six)

Postby Aerisa on Sat Jul 18, 2009 5:38 pm

Kir'ima wrote:
Aerisa wrote:
blackshade10 wrote:Stalk the enemy? :@

I was under the impression that was, y'know, a scout's main job >.>

Not at the sacrifice of innocents like that.
That is seriously anathema to Kir. :A

/edit - oh, wait, so Kir is not in on the plot, and is just following them?


Yes, OH you mighty information gatherer xD *total sarcasm*

Added the part that got erased, hopefully it'll be clearer. *Kill Open Office AND her integrated mouse pad*

Edit: It is. Yay!
Stories about Lae'ryza:
Demonic Bond(finished)
viewtopic.php?f=76&t=13359

More to come! *cross fingers*
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Re: Fanfic- Demonic Bond (Chapter Five)

Postby waffleferret on Sat Jul 18, 2009 6:28 pm

Aerisa wrote:
waffleferret wrote:this is so cool!!! its geting good the chapter was really unexspected
i wish it had more comedy and zombies but thats just me *smallsmile*
as for the plot its something i'd exspect Chifox to do (trust me thats a compliment in its self , I use to beg her to wrie me storys all the time when i was yonger)
so damatic and original ^^ and as u can tell from that bad chapter i wrote i don't normaly read serious storys because they bore me heck i only read this because u seemed so nice XD
maby its the super-moca-cafa-vanilla-frost-triple-chocolate-sprinkle-delux-with-wipecream-frappa ?...nah its good (btw if u ever see a sweet chocho-chunka you have to order one of those)


I dunno for you, but I giggled quite a bit while writing Ms. Demon x3 (You sure seem to like your sister quite a bit, you talk about her pretty frequently x3 )

Hope my story isn't too boring for you so far =3 (Oh? Where do we get these? Star Bucks? 'cause there aren't any in here :( )



you get them at this coffee shop called the sweet chocho-chunka i'v only seen one ever (which i go to at every chance so they may not be a chain .

I loveeeeeeeeeeee the last chapter mara cool name at first i thought u spelled marae and was like :O i knew my 6th grade teacher was a demon!!!! lol i love the story >< cant wait for the epiloge maby we should have a PTP fanfic forum? maby?
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Re: Fanfic- Demonic Bond (Chapter Five)

Postby Aerisa on Sat Jul 18, 2009 6:42 pm

waffleferret wrote:I loveeeeeeeeeeee the last chapter mara cool name at first i thought u spelled marae and was like :O i knew my 6th grade teacher was a demon!!!! lol i love the story >< cant wait for the epiloge maby we should have a PTP fanfic forum? maby?


A fanfic forum would definitely be nice, it might encourage people to write more stories ^^ Glad you like this chapter x3

Also, just for the heck of it, fun fact: All important original characters in this story are somehow linked to video games xD Mar'im's nickname(Mar) comes from Jak 3(worst game of the original series, but hey), while it's complete name comes from a character I created in one of my boyfriend's fighting game. Raz'ey's nickname(Raz) comes from Psychonauts(awesome), while Mara is another frequent name I use when I need to create characters in video games x3 (It originated in Indiana Jones Lego x333 (also awesome, especially if you play it with someone else))

Yes, I'm a nerd x33333
Stories about Lae'ryza:
Demonic Bond(finished)
viewtopic.php?f=76&t=13359

More to come! *cross fingers*
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Re: Fanfic- Demonic Bond (Chapter Six)

Postby waffleferret on Sat Jul 18, 2009 7:15 pm

i like some of those games my self the lego ones are my brothers fav and give chifox head aches :P
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Re: Fanfic- Demonic Bond (Chapter Six)

Postby Aerisa on Mon Jul 20, 2009 6:25 am

Note from the author
This story started like many others before it. A stroke of inspiration which I felt deserved at least attempting to put down on (digital) paper. Before I knew it, Chapter One was finished, and people were interested. I got to know some other persons, writing the following chapters, including those I could in it... their encouragement somehow gave me the strength to continue writing, to the point we're now. This story isn't like all of the others... it's over. Finished. In barely over a week. A true record for a girl who can't normally focus on -anything- for more than a day.

Yet... I can't help but feel some regrets, thinking of when I'll post the Epilogue... when I saw this story take shape, I started getting great hope for it... I hoped to make something as enjoyable as possible for everyone in here, while at the same time creating what I hoped to be a worthy homage to Drowtales. While I knew it was EXTREMELY doubtful the creators would ever look at this little story... I wanted to create something that would make them honor, and hopefully portray to them how much I loved and admired their work if they ever DID check this out... For that, I set myself some strict rules, the most important one being to stick to the cannon of Drowtales to the best of my ability, even for that smallest details.

I'm going to break this rule now. After writing a scene in the epilogue, I learned that a part in it was NOT cannon... This scene, though out of place according to my 'personal editor', and probably the kind to be overlooked by others, is VERY important to me, even crucial... After voicing my disappointment in the shoutbox, someone more familiar with Drowtales offered to help me. I was overjoyed, giving as much details as I could to help him, making sure to tell him that the Epilogue was due soon, which wouldn't leave us much time to think... I never heard from this person again, even after delaying the Epilogue. I'm hoping this person had a good reason. He probably does, but I want him to know that it was... a HUGE disappointment for me to be let down like this after getting my hopes up so much...

In the end, I decided to leave this scene in. Part of it due to spite. People could call me a drama queen to be affected to such an extend by something that could seem so... trivial, but I can't help it.

Still, I don't regret anything. I love this story, and the thought that it entertained people fills me with joy. I hope a day will come when I will be able to entertain people like this again. Until then, I want to thanks everyone who helped me. Scar(Ska'veran) for reading the various Chapters before I posted them, pointing to errors and helping me when I needed it. Thanks to Dsieda, Tamato, Rahil'rez and all of the rest(There are too many to name) who encouraged me and commented chapters after chapters. Thanks to everyone who is reading this, right now, and didn't stop even after I started rambling about my little personal drama( x3 ).

Thanks Guy and Gals, you're all awesome.
See you later with the conclusion of this story.
Stories about Lae'ryza:
Demonic Bond(finished)
viewtopic.php?f=76&t=13359

More to come! *cross fingers*
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Re: Fanfic- Demonic Bond ((emo)Note from the Author)

Postby Dsieda on Mon Jul 20, 2009 6:44 am

This story, was in it's pure epic win all by itself. For a fanfic, I don't believe I've read anything that was, so powerful! I'm sad to see it at an end, but the way it was ended was, really REALLY good! I mean, of course, it leads for there to be a sequel and boy would I hope to soon see an epilogue! But at the same time, I know your worries.

All I have to say is, this is a 'fan' fic. Although I know you want to stick to the story as much as believably possible, it's still YOUR take on what happens in the story. Fanfics are supposed to be a fun outlet for the author to take a story they love and, rewrite it for themselves to their enjoyment and the enjoyment of others. It doesn't have to be sworn by the drow tales bible the exact same thing, so don't beat yourself up for it. If you want it to suddenly rain demonic chibis and have the Tik'tikki take over the world, by all means go for it! XD No one should be able to tell you you're wrong for it because, as I said before I say again, it's a fan fiction story. =D So just have fun Aery, don't worry if it's too unlikely, do it for the sake of the story! We all love it regardless.

^-^ I'm hoping this doesn't discourage you from writing any more, I did love it all, and the ending...it's just so dramatic! I really do mean it when I say this is hands down, one of the best fanfics I've ever read.

<.< Seriously, I don't usually get inspired to draw from some, and yours, I found myself just dying to! XD
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