[Q]

((some backstory of Quel for those who are intrested, I got inspired))

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Pain...

Pain is an experience by itself.

An experience the body never forgets.

An experience the mind never forgets...

You can get used to pain, but you never forget it...

The steel in the flesh... The burning coils on your skin... The loss of what was dear to you...

And the worst kind of pain... is the one that your body can ignore, but your heart can't. The one that you feel like tearing through your own guts to take away.

Was that the kind of pain I wanted ?

My father... my father made it clear. I shouldn't fear pain. Pain would make it stronger he said...

I remember everything... I can't forget. He carved those memories in the back of my head, so I could never forget them.

I was young, far too young when he put a sword in my hands. I could barely lift it. Less over defend myself with it. I am standing in front of my father, the monster he was. I was sweating, bleeding, my eyes were red and full of tears. I was calling to my mother ; she looked away. I couldn't tell if she didn't want her child suffer.

Or if she was ashamed that her child couldn't yet raise his weapon against his father.

Every day, training... every single day... day and night lost their meaning to me. The training was unbearable. I felt the life feeble inside of me. I was going to die at any moment.

But that moment never came. My father made himself sure that I wouldn't die so my hell could go along for a couple more weeks, that became months, that became years...

My mother tended to my wounds, but never offered me a smile. She would answer only the questions she thought were essential for me to know. My mother was a strong woman, very strong... I could see it in her eyes ; she wanted a daughter, not a son. That was the reason she didn't even bother training me herself.

On the other hand. My father... was a monster.

I learned my roots... a family of fighters... a family of warriors... a family that dedicated everything to the pursuit of strenght, technique, power... All in service of the clan. All in the service of the Ilharess..

We were special, we had something that none other had...

I was sent in the army, I was sent on the front lines, I was sent in the defense force...

I wish I could say that was the end of it. But to my father's eyes. What so many people soughted or feared, was barely training. A way to spend my time when he wasn't around.

It didn't matter how tired I was.

It didn't matter how wounded I was.

Everytime he would make me train more... Fighting.... Technique... Tyr'Ay, weapons, mana, everything at once...

I was getting stronger.

I was getting tougher.

I was getting the assassin my father wanted me to be.

And yet, I was still trash to his eyes.

And my mother would never say an unecessary word like : congratulation, or I am disappointed.

Things didn't make sense.

But franckfully, I didn't have time to question it. Every time I could breath and try to think of it, a couple of more years had passed.

I met people.

Shiir... Oru...

I fought alongside them, like battle-brothers.

And yet, we were of a different world.

They had something to protect. Was it friend, was it mate, was it children or family.

I wanted to kill my father.

That's what pushed me forward.

So much that one day, I actually tried it.

He made quite sure that I will always remember him, taking my right eye.

I couldn't become strong enough, it wasn't even a fight.

This man could not be killed.

I hated him, hated him with all my guts. With each passing day from now on, my hatred for him grew stronger, and stronger. With each passing day, the intrest my mother had for me grew stronger and stronger. She was giving me tips, advice, council. She started congratulating me, she started acting like a mother....

She died not too long after.

I was left alone with my father. Our training sessions shook the ground of the underworld. Both of us being powerful earth sorcerers, we left permanent marks of our combats in the earth.
I couldn't kill him.

It didn't matter how much I trained. He was always over me, he was always the strongest. Hatred was all what I had left. I became a beast. I didn't need him anymore to train. I was training on my own, even harder than he used to make me train. Day and night, without sleeping, without eating. I didn't care, I didn't even notice.
Hatred was my food, my energy.
Irony is a cruel master.
When I came back home one day, he was there, crushed under a pile of stone, giving his last breaths.
And for the first time, he smiled at me.
The rest of the house collapsed.
And hatred was gone... the only feeling left, was a deep feeling of emptyness. I was now the last one of my family. The only one to know the art of combat of our family.
I was alone, and already I missed my father. That tormentor that almost killed me a thousand times. I already missed him.
But I understood now... he got rid of those feelings I didn't need anymore. Now all what was left was my sense of duty. It was now on my shoulders to keep the tradition of the family. Fight for the Illharess, fight for the clan...
I kept training alone, fought again with the army to earn my money. Was part of the expeditionary force where my strong sense of survival and my fighting skills came in handy.
I became everything my father wanted me to be...
But now, it wasn't enough for me.

Especially now, not at this moment...

While the city lies in ruins. I am escorting runaways and refugees, and Anjhali, our new Ilharess... By dozens they try to flee the ruined city. My hands are full blood, I'm not even sure who's anymore. But I can't stop looking at the city. Where was I then ? I couldn't even remember.

I will be strong, because that is all what I can be...

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((End of Quel's memories pt1

hope you liked it))

[Meska369]

((OMG!!!

I LOVE IT... Great job

Very good, lovely visuals. Feelings well played.

Sense of empathy burning in the mind as you read. Good.

*runs over to Q and Hugs the hell out of him.*

WE will love you, you who were so ill-treated! You sound a bit like my character, yet 1000 times more painfull a history in terms of family!

Good job!))

[Q]

thank you

[Craziemage]

wow...very impressive Quel, I would feel sorry for him, but I respect him to much for that.

[Q]

Thanks for the comment, it is much appreciated.

[kirio]

Fodder for nightmares indeed. It makes me wonder if his father murdered his mother to keep complete control over Quel. His father's death raises a lot of questions. How could a trained earth sorcerer be so careless as to be fatally crushed in the collapse of a stone building? If it really was suicide, what was the motive? The parting smile and the convenient timing of the further collapse of the building hint at something profound. What did Quel's father see in him that Quel doesn't see in himself?

I'm looking forward to see what you have to add.

[Q]

Thanks ! It's really heart-warming to see that people are reading and thinking about it ^-^

I am still wondering how I will give more infos on Quel's past. By continuing his memories or through roleplay.

But one thing is for sure. I will let you guys know more.

As soon as I have access to a scanner, I'll even post some sketches of pre-exodus Quel.

[Q]

Day 1
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I am starting this diairy as my only witness. Today is the day where my son Is born. A blessing for our family. Someone to whom I will be able to pass everything I know, everything I have been taught, everything for what our family exists. My mate and I can only exchange saddened eyes, for our tradition is not a tradition of love and caring. It is of pain and harsh labour... Emotions, are left for later. When he'll grow older, he'll understand... I cried, oh Sharess did I cry when I saw the baby for the first time. Even Exhelia couldn't keep her tears in.
But our tradition is a tradition of strenght. And those words I'm writing, no one will ever read...

to be continued

[Meska369]

(( I have immages of "300" in my mind. The Spartins forced thier male children away from thier mothers and pitted them against each other to see who would survive to become an Adult man who was truely worthy of thier People's name. Survival of the fittest, who have a driving will. Made for a truely scary warrior.))

[Q]

Day 23 , Month 6, Year 42
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She doesn't understand.... She doesn't understand... She wants to be closer to him... She does... But she can't... I can't let her... I cannot. It will be bad for him, bad for everything we've worked so hard up to now. I must... I'll keep an eye on her... I don't have much of a choice...
I hope it's nothing, I hope it's only me. Everything was going so well up to now.... I must be mistaking... Sharess I hope I am.

[Q]

Day 11, month 3, year 47
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She forced me... I didn`t have much choice. I warned her, I told her ! But she wouldn't listen.... Why didn`t she ? She knew what would happen ? And yet... And yet...

Sharess what have I done.... We can't back down, she`ll understand... It needed to be done....

I don't know how she will look at me now, if she ever does again....

I must not fail, or everything will have been in vain....

[Q]

Silence...

Silence is all I hear.

Time seems to flow at the slowest of pace.

Silence is all I hear but I'm yelling at the top of my lungs. My throat is hurting, I am blinded by own tears. Maybe it's better like that.

I won't see her face.

Pain is all I can feel. A pain that blinds the senses, that keeps us away from any coherent thoughts. A pain that makes us envy the dead.

Pain is all I can feel.

Or is it ?

I feel a tint of anger.

Anger at this curse that follows me, that won't leave me alone. That tends to destroy everything I love and care about.

I feel powerless.
Powerless as my fists bang on the rock in front me. Powerless at this rock that It seems my will can't destroy...

Powerless to the fact that this rock she's ben encrusted in, is the only thing keeping her together.

She was the first and only woman I loved, I can't even say for how long I have been crying and shouting my anger and my pain. I can't say if any one heard or cared.
I just can't understand why, why it had to be like that ? What did she do ? Was her only crime to share the love I had for her ?
She gave me a reason to go forward, she gave me hope that all this wasn't for nothing.
I felt empty, empty like the past decades were ripped out of my guts with red hot iron.
I didn't know what to do, I didn't know what to think. I didn't even realise by legs stopped supporting me and I was know kneeling in front of rock that became her mausoleum.
I try to wash away the tear from my red eyes, but more keep coming. I want to yell more but all I can do is sob.

A faint sound came to my ears as the stone started to slowly break apart.
I tried to call my mana to prevent it from crumbling.
But I was too exhausted.
And in front me, the rock and her body, crumbled in pieces. In front of me a mix of stones, blood, bones and meat as the body was now unrecognizable.
But I still knew it was her, and that this picture would be printed in my brain forever.
I yelled, I yelled in fear, in pain, in anger, I yelled so hard that the light elves above and Sharess herserlf must have heard me, and I fainted....

I woke up at home, my mother was tending to me, treating my wounds. It seems there was a cave-in, I was lucky my father saved me...

lucky ?