Freshly remodeled, the Game Tavern serves as your place to go to participate in roleplay or gaming threads with other members of the forum.

King of the Hill

Re: King of the Hill

Postby Phoenix0995 » Sat May 08, 2010 7:15 pm

Oh yeah... F@$k.

I decide to grab my Very Large Hammer (tm) and hit Malyuta on the head with it. Hard enough to kill him. Then I torch the body, just to be safe, and throw the ashes out to the winds.

My hill.
Phoenix0995
Summoner
 
Posts: 319
Joined: Sun Jan 31, 2010 9:55 pm
Location: Nowhere on any map... at least that you can find
Clan: Sarghress

Re: King of the Hill

Postby Malyuta Skuratov » Sat May 08, 2010 10:33 pm

My ashes fly into Phoenix's mouth, and he asphyxiates, dies, and I take control over his body. Sorry, Phoenix, but the hill is still claimed in the name of THE CHURCH OF MALYUTA SKURATOV!
Malyuta Skuratov
Summoner
 
Posts: 211
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 4:49 pm

Re: King of the Hill

Postby Phoenix0995 » Sat May 08, 2010 11:25 pm

A lackey of mine uses a transporter to scatter my molecules, and those of Malyuta's ashes, across the universe. I respawn and walk onto the hill.

My hill, not the hill of the Church of Malyuta Skuratov.
Phoenix0995
Summoner
 
Posts: 319
Joined: Sun Jan 31, 2010 9:55 pm
Location: Nowhere on any map... at least that you can find
Clan: Sarghress

Re: King of the Hill

Postby Sir Malifact » Sun May 09, 2010 4:00 am

I cackle as my elaborately-hidden nuclear landmine sets off right under your respawn point. From an undisclosed location, I teleport in legions of Pedobears armed with Gatling Shotguns and peanut-butter. They promptly plant the banner of Lulz.

My hill.
Sir Malifact
Demon
 
Posts: 676
Joined: Thu Dec 03, 2009 12:20 am
Location: Throwing a party in the Fortress of Solitude...
Clan: Nal'sarkoth

Re: King of the Hill

Postby Phoenix0995 » Sun May 09, 2010 4:04 am

Well, at least it'... no. I'm not gonna say it.

Several fighter jets come out of nowhere and strafe the hill with missiles, machine gun fire, and bombs. Once all the Pedobears are dead, I walk onto the hill, burn the banner of Lulz (though how it survived that attack is beyond me), and plant my own banner. Yes, it's my avatar; why do you ask?

My hill.
Phoenix0995
Summoner
 
Posts: 319
Joined: Sun Jan 31, 2010 9:55 pm
Location: Nowhere on any map... at least that you can find
Clan: Sarghress

Re: King of the Hill

Postby Shamus » Sun May 09, 2010 5:20 am

Well, if we're going to start on internet memes....

Shamus produces an I Can Haz Cheesburger flag and an army of LOLCats swarm the hill. Longcat is LOOOOOONNNNNNG SUCKAS!

I can haz hill?
Shamus
Demon
 
Posts: 555
Joined: Thu Jan 28, 2010 4:12 am
Location: With Sil'lice and the other true Sharens
Clan: Sharen

Re: King of the Hill

Postby Phoenix0995 » Sun May 09, 2010 7:47 pm

No, you can't haz hill.

There is a large group of some kind in war armor discussing something. Suddenly, one of them says very loudly, "All right, chumps, let's do this. LEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOY JENKINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and charges the hill. After a shocked moment, during which the words, "Oh my god, he just went in!" can be heard, the rest of the group goes for the hill behind Leeroy. All of the LOLCats die, and so do all of the raiders... except for Leeroy. Then I pop out of nowhere and kill Leeroy in order to take the hill for myself.

My hill.
Phoenix0995
Summoner
 
Posts: 319
Joined: Sun Jan 31, 2010 9:55 pm
Location: Nowhere on any map... at least that you can find
Clan: Sarghress

Re: King of the Hill

Postby Malyuta Skuratov » Mon May 10, 2010 1:48 am

I march towards the hill dressed in my typical oprichnik wear along with a second man wearing the same. I pull the hood down from my face and shout, "NOT SO FAST, PHOENIX! YOU MAY THINK YOU'RE GREAT, BUT YOU'RE STILL JUST A MASSIVE BIRD! I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE CONSTANTLY ON FIRE!"

I then point at Phoenix and say, "You have gotten so far thinking you're invincible, but I know how to deal with your kind. Thankfully I brought something that can destroy birds. MY DICK."

...

"What? Dick Cheney. What did you think I meant?"

After that statement, the second hooded man reveals his face showing that he is in fact, Dick Cheney! He produces a shotgun underneath his robe and points it at Phoenix.

Then quickly he swings it toward me and shoots me in the head. As I lay bleeding, I manage to sputter, "What the hell?! You were supposed to shoot HIM!"

Dick Cheney then shoots Phoenix dead and claims the hill for himself. "THIS HILL HAS BEEN ANNEXED IN THE NAME OF FREEDOM. ANYONE WHO DISAGREES IS A TERRORIST."
Malyuta Skuratov
Summoner
 
Posts: 211
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 4:49 pm

Re: King of the Hill

Postby kylefiredemon » Mon May 10, 2010 2:36 am

Malyuta Skuratov wrote:I march towards the hill dressed in my typical oprichnik wear along with a second man wearing the same. I pull the hood down from my face and shout, "NOT SO FAST, PHOENIX! YOU MAY THINK YOU'RE GREAT, BUT YOU'RE STILL JUST A MASSIVE BIRD! I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE CONSTANTLY ON FIRE!"

I then point at Phoenix and say, "You have gotten so far thinking you're invincible, but I know how to deal with your kind. Thankfully I brought something that can destroy birds. MY DICK."

...

"What? Dick Cheney. What did you think I meant?"

After that statement, the second hooded man reveals his face showing that he is in fact, Dick Cheney! He produces a shotgun underneath his robe and points it at Phoenix.

Then quickly he swings it toward me and shoots me in the head. As I lay bleeding, I manage to sputter, "What the hell?! You were supposed to shoot HIM!"

Dick Cheney then shoots Phoenix dead and claims the hill for himself. "THIS HILL HAS BEEN ANNEXED IN THE NAME OF FREEDOM. ANYONE WHO DISAGREES IS A TERRORIST."


But then, Stalin comes in with a army of T-80 tanks and blows Dick Cheney away. "I claim this hill for the union of Soviet Socialist Republics!"
kylefiredemon
Vel'akar
 
Posts: 1538
Joined: Wed Jul 22, 2009 1:15 am
Location: dunno mate

Re: King of the Hill

Postby Sir Malifact » Mon May 10, 2010 11:04 am

With his dying breath, Dick Cheney invokes a spell of summoning... bringing forth a creature of unimaginable power from beyond the void.
o
It's Bush Jr.

"Prepare to die, Commies!!!" He declares, and with but a look, the entire army of Soviets is obliterated by the mind-numbing, all-powerful might of Bush's gaze.

Our Hill. For America.

Fuck Yeah.
Sir Malifact
Demon
 
Posts: 676
Joined: Thu Dec 03, 2009 12:20 am
Location: Throwing a party in the Fortress of Solitude...
Clan: Nal'sarkoth

Re: King of the Hill

Postby Phoenix0995 » Mon May 10, 2010 12:17 pm

Bush Jr. is suddenly obliterated by an army of Democrats trying to get him to do stuff. In the empty silence immediately following, I walk onto the hill.

Hill of the Nation of Mythical Creatures.
Phoenix0995
Summoner
 
Posts: 319
Joined: Sun Jan 31, 2010 9:55 pm
Location: Nowhere on any map... at least that you can find
Clan: Sarghress

Re: King of the Hill

Postby Ardent Abbadon » Tue May 11, 2010 1:38 am

A mist rolls in over the hill, there are many bestially noises, and when it clears Phoenix is gone, replaced by me. }:3

"I declare this hill.... HOME OF THE WHOPPER! BK FOR THE WIN!!!"
Ardent Abbadon
Tainted
 
Posts: 194
Joined: Wed May 05, 2010 5:00 am

Re: King of the Hill

Postby Zickman » Tue May 11, 2010 2:21 am

The Death Star escorted by a squad of Apache helicopters and Javelins bear down upon the hill dropping bombs, bullets, and the occasional screaming cat until nothing is left standing. I walk over the carnage holding a solar powered life seeking missile launcher and stick a flag into the hill.

"I CLAIM THIS HILL IN THE NAME OF 223rd Space Marine Battalion!"
Zickman
Summoner
 
Posts: 379
Joined: Mon Apr 26, 2010 2:12 am
Location: Somewhere in the Ethereal Realm of Magic

Re: King of the Hill

Postby Ardent Abbadon » Tue May 11, 2010 2:40 am

Lance batteries destroy your aircraft and puny Death Star in a purifying blaze as drop pods descend from the sky like burning teardrops. They open up to reveal their payload of space marines who plant their banner on the newly taken hill.

"THIS HILL IS NOW IN THE POSSESSION OF THE WORD BEARERS ASTARTE LEGION! ALL HAIL LOGHAR!"
}:3
Ardent Abbadon
Tainted
 
Posts: 194
Joined: Wed May 05, 2010 5:00 am

Re: King of the Hill

Postby Sir Malifact » Tue May 11, 2010 2:03 pm

A chocking, venom-green fog swirls in about the hill, obscuring the traitor-legions sight. Within the mist, skeletal figures stalk forward, bolter-shells and las-rounds bouncing harmlessly from their gleaming frames. As one, they raise their weapons and open fire, steady, meticulous blasts of gauss energy zapping into the chaos marines ranks and vaporizing them by scores.

There is no escape. No hope. The assailants who fall only rise again. Flayed Ones rise from the ground, draped in the glistening skin of their victims, foot-long bladed claws unfolding as they advanced. Pariah's, the epitomy of Souless Perfection, an unholy blend of human flesh and Necron technology, marched forward, they're Warscthye's gripped in skeletal hands.

The Chaos Marines fight valiantly, but in the end, they are overwhelmed and wiped out, blasted into oblivion by the Necron's ghastly technology.

But just as suddenly as they had come, they dissapeared, phasing out and leaving not a trace of their presence, save for the Sigil of the C'tan left blasted into the rocky ground.
Sir Malifact
Demon
 
Posts: 676
Joined: Thu Dec 03, 2009 12:20 am
Location: Throwing a party in the Fortress of Solitude...
Clan: Nal'sarkoth

PreviousNext

Return to Game Tavern

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests