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King of the Hill

Re: King of the Hill

Postby Shamus » Thu May 13, 2010 2:37 am

Shamus simply hops in his car and plays demolition derby with with the squidman, but as the squidman lacks a car.... Shamus sets the radio to a station that plays stuff like Manowar and folk metal really loudly and then proceeds to clean out his front grill.


My hill.
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Re: King of the Hill

Postby Zickman » Thu May 13, 2010 2:39 am

I unpin a grenade and launch it at Shamus and his car before diving for cover as a huge explosion rack the hill. Closely followed by a rain of car part, blood, teeth, and brain fragments.

Damn, you people don't give up do you? My hill once more!
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Re: King of the Hill

Postby Ardent Abbadon » Thu May 13, 2010 2:49 am

A beam of anti-matter disintegrates everything on the hill(except the hill itself; okay, with all the bombs and everything you'd think the hill be all but vaporized by now) in a flash of light. After a moment I teleport to the ground; I give the thumbs up to the alien ship in orbit, and plant my flag of victory.

"Can't touch this! Nee-nee-nee! Dun-dun-dun! Un-dun! Can't touch this!" *smallsmile*
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Re: King of the Hill

Postby Zickman » Thu May 13, 2010 2:55 am

I brush myself off and thank the gods for my now ruin belt of invulnerability. I take out my ray gun and line it up on the squid face humanoid dancing and singing in victory and without hesitation pull the trigger and watch in fiendish delight as bolt after bolt strike him. I then walk over and burn the the flag and sit down on the hill waiting for the next attack which will inevitably come.

"My hill, just admit already!"
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Re: King of the Hill

Postby Malyuta Skuratov » Thu May 13, 2010 3:04 am

NOT SO FAST, ZICKMAN! YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD WON THIS ROUND WITH YOUR SHITTY BELT OF INVINCIBILITY. BUT I'M AFRAID THIS BOXING MATCH WE CALL LIFE, WHICH WE CALL A THREAD IS NOT OVER. IN FACT... it has just BEGUN.

(For those that have a penchant for the dramatic, you may want to start playing Europe's "Final Countdown" while reading this post)

10...
9...
8...
7...
6...
5...
4...
3...
2...
1...

Through the use of rocket science and sheer willpower, Malyuta has summoned a space shuttle underneath the earth's crust directly beneath the hill. The space shuttle then lifts off breaking through the dirt and taking the hill with it. The hill has now been placed upon the nose of the space shuttle and is being carried into space.

What's that? Oh, right. Zickman, you're on the hill right now, aren't you? Well, as far as I have read, you may be invincible, but your belt isn't! Your belt crumbles due to the sheer force, and you can't breathe nothing, so you die.

Once the space shuttle reaches the moon, the astronauts step out, and they place a flag which resembles a dog's head along with a broomstick.

"THIS IS ONE SMALL STEP FOR OPRICHNIKI, AND ONE GIANT LEAP FOR THE CHURCH OF MALYUTA SKURATOV!"
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Re: King of the Hill

Postby Ardent Abbadon » Thu May 13, 2010 3:09 am

"My hill, just admit already!"

(NEVER!)

The ground itself begins to quake as a horde of stampeding chickens come around that nonexistent corner, me riding the largest one.

"Prepare thy self Malyuta, for ye are about to feel the pain of mineth thousands of poultry. This hill will be mine! CHAAAARRRR"- *deep breath* "-RRRRGGGGEEEE!"

The Bockening has began.

PS: They're space chickens.
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Re: King of the Hill

Postby Zickman » Thu May 13, 2010 3:25 am

Malyuta Skuratov wrote:Through the use of rocket science and sheer willpower, Malyuta has summoned a space shuttle underneath the earth's crust directly beneath the hill. The space shuttle then lifts off breaking through the dirt and taking the hill with it. The hill has now been placed upon the nose of the space shuttle and is being carried into space.


"Now that's what I call audacity! Rocketboy just changed the whole setting. *lol*" Okay then time to take it up a notch!

As I take my last breath in the lifeless vacuum of space my essence immediately return back to earth and into Dr. Ivo's android which I had programmed as a safeguard for such an event several years ago. I live once more! This time with much more improvements. I immediately take flight and reach the roving rocket in a matter of seconds. With my Lazar beam eyes I fry a human squid, a boy wearing a red helmet, and several hundred chickens all in one go. As they lifeless bodies float out to space I land on the racket and shoot up a flare in victory.

I will never stop fighting! Come on, I dare ya'll pansies to try and take my hill away.
Zickman
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Re: King of the Hill

Postby Ardent Abbadon » Thu May 13, 2010 3:54 am

I cringe slightly as a small portion of my clucking horde is burnt, but simply write it up as executable losses. With a quick command my chickens begin to fire exploding eggs that cover me and the rest of my now charging KFC Templars. He ready our laces to skewer our enemies.

"FOR GLORY AND THE HILL!" :@
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Re: King of the Hill

Postby Zickman » Thu May 13, 2010 4:01 am

I open a portal to the ethreal Realm and summon several Astral Walkers who stand ready with fangs and claws at ready awaiting my command.
"If its a war you want its a war you'll get!"
I fly down to attack, my Walkers flying around me. Dodging exploding eggs and returning fire with beams of devastating lazor I make my way to the squid head who is their leader and after a brief struggle rip his head off. As the epic battle between chicken and Walkers continue I raise the severed head high and give a victorious shout.

The hill remains mind!
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Re: King of the Hill

Postby Ardent Abbadon » Thu May 13, 2010 4:07 am

Zickman wrote:The hill remains mind!


Dude, again? I mean really?

The illithid head in Zick's grasp suddenly springs to life and latches onto his face. A moment later it tries to bite into his skull, all the while screaming in victory.

"Aha-ha! You let your guard down and now the hill will be MIIINNE!!!"
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Re: King of the Hill

Postby Sir Malifact » Thu May 13, 2010 4:54 am

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS PANSY-ASS SHITFAGGOTRY!!??!?!"

The verbal assault stuns the squid-man and his prey, and upon the hill, a lone Space Marine stands, the source of the noise. Yet he is... different. Clad in yellow and red armor beckecked with RAGE seals and glyphs of HATE, this Astartes is clearly a member of the infamous Angry Marines Chapter. Yet he is no ordinary Marine; the pyschich hood he wears, along with the massive, two-handed psi-powerbat, indicate that he is one of the Chapter's Librarians, or a "Master of Mindfuckery" as the Angry Marines call them. Raising his mighty weapon in the air, he charged at the two of them, unleashing a mind-numbing wage of PUREFRACKINGRAGE which shook the both of them to the core. Then, he promptly began smashing them into paste with his power bat.

Stepping away from the steaming pile of offal, he planted the banner of FUCK YOU and howled his triumph to the skies.

"MY FUCKING HILL, BITCHES!!!"


For the noobs not in the know...
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Re: King of the Hill

Postby Ardent Abbadon » Thu May 13, 2010 5:30 am

Sir Malifact wrote:"MY FUCKING HILL, BITCHES!!!"

*eek*

Yeeeaaaahhhh, I'm gonna make a tactical retreat to gather my resources and process the situation. (AKA: Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!)
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Re: King of the Hill

Postby Shamus » Thu May 13, 2010 6:00 pm

Shamus, who didn't get the memo that the hill was moved (How the heck did you come up with moving the hill into space at the same time I did? I was going to use a Star Trek ship and a tractor beam to move it, but... Man, I was literially moving my mouse to the reply button.) wanders around the empty crater. Seeing and finding no-one, he steals a bulldozer from a construction site and makes a whole new hill, completely with a fancy trench around it. He then spends some time fortifying his position, what with sharpened stakes and land mines in the trench and stuff.

Laying back on a couch he set outside the really spiffy bunker he built into the hill, he notices a flash on the moon. He then takes a look with the high-powered telescope he also brought for some strange reason. Spotting the Angry Marine, he makes a phone call to NASA and the US military, telling them a tale so mind-blowing awesome that they immediately unveil their latest type of missile, intended to blow up asteroids that might hit Earth, set it up on a launch pad made of furries, and then blow a huge crater in the Moon's surface.

My hill... No, my hills.
Shamus
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Re: King of the Hill

Postby Phoenix0995 » Thu May 13, 2010 8:58 pm

Unfortunately for Shamus, he neglected to put anti-air defenses in, thus leaving himself vulnerable to attack from a giant flaming bird. After tossing Shamus onto his own stakes, I sit down on the hill. Since there's now a crater instead of a hill on the moon's surface, I decide to let it be.

My hill.
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Re: King of the Hill

Postby Ardent Abbadon » Fri May 14, 2010 12:27 am

There is low rumble underneath Phoenix when suddenly I burst thru the ground, riding atop the Great White Graboid. I throw a bucket of water on Phoenix, after which my Graboid eats the big fowl.

"INVERTEBRATES SHALL CONTROL THE WORLD! But until then we'll settle for this hill." :D
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