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(Newbies testing ground) School

Postby LaithKelredar » Thu Mar 30, 2006 2:53 am

"Aww... now you made me go ask more questions."

"Anyways, if the character were to go on a caravan trip with a several middle class families and earn their support would that be enough or would the character need some nobles on her side to stay alive? Also would the situation change if the mother of the noble house accepted the break off as a way to get rid of an unwanted daughter without bloodshed?"

"Seeing as to how I need some sleep I'll have to thank in advance whoever answers this question."

The kitsune masked student then lays her head down on a desk and falls right asleep.
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Postby Ssin'urn » Thu Mar 30, 2006 3:03 am

The fey, without looking up, shakes her head, before saying anything.

"You do realize, though, that no one would be allowed to be the head of an entire subhouse in this RPG? You would have to much power, to much Drow at your command."
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Postby kembaru » Thu Mar 30, 2006 3:05 am

"In general you'd need enough support from them that would make them literally adopt their daughters off to you, it is possible, but impractical, you can't be a sub-family of one. And the family being broken in two to sepearte the weaker elements is rather plausible, I'd suggest that one."
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Postby Thalar » Thu Mar 30, 2006 11:14 am

"I'd think," peeps a voice from underneath a desk close by, "that a mother who did not approve of the protector twin winning against her own daughter, would simply have the protector killed for failing her duties, as the protector twin's life is tied to the life of the real daughter."

"In my opinion, a protector twin who fought and won against the real daughter, but did not want to stay in her subhouse - taking her name and status and everything that comes with it, as is the protector twin's due if the mother allows it - she'd be killed, or made into a slave, or best case chased off the Sharen grounds with only what she was wearing and nothing else."

"And another thing, just because Yaeminira was allowed to become Vy'chriel, doesn't mean that this is a commonplace happening. If it hadn't been for Sarv'swati interfering, Yaeminira would be dead at her mother's hands. Having the real blood daughter loosing to someone whose blood is inferior is not something these women take easily."
That is not dead which may eternal lie, and with aeons even death may die.

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Postby LaithKelredar » Mon Apr 03, 2006 12:44 pm

"Well, the idea was house as in four walls and a roof, not house as in warriors/guards, servants, etc... but I scraped that character too so it doesn't matter anymore. I think I've finally got something usable but since I've scrapped and restarted 3 times I might've missed some stuff so I'm gonna post my character here first. Please point out anything that needs fixed, and maybe any ideas for how to fix it cause my mind's now very broken with all the restarts."

Name: Laith Kelredar
Race: Ver'Drowendar
Age: 28
Weapons: Dual wields a hand axe and a war hammer (the axe is twin bladed and measures 45cm long, the hammer is 42cm long) and a bio-golum cloak made by the Jall'Darya that hides 4 blades that can strike at foes on Laith's sides or behind her.

Armor: Spider silk robes worn over a mixed suit of platemail and chainmail (the suit is set on regular cloth for comfort and the ability to wear/hide the suit under normal clothing), the suit is a little akward due to it being gathered piece by piece from fallen enemies and attached to a plain cloth base but the protection it provides more than makes up for the noise and slight movement restriction it imposes. Also has a plain soldiers shield and some extra plate armor that can be worn over her robes for when she goes looking for trouble.

Magic: Fire Magic.
Beginning City: Chel'el'sussoloth.
Clan: Val'Sharen.

Background: Laith was born into the Kelredar house as their fourth child. She has 2 sisters and one brother and was raised by the younger of the sisters Tel'Chiara. Tel'Chiara was very kind and treated both Laith and her guardian twin Sela'De'Ara as if they were her own children. Tel'Chiara was determined to raise them both into strong women to make the clan proud but made their lessons into games that made Laith and Sela'De'Ara want to learn. This technique worked well on the young drow and at the age of nine they had already learned things from the first and second years of class in the Orthorbbae. Fate it seemed would not let Laith have everything good in her youth, and a few days before Laith and Sela'De'Ara were to goto the Orthorbbae, a streekaider attacked Tel'Chiara and killed her while she was traveling back home from the market. Laith blamed the Val'Sarghress clan for the attack, but with no proof there was little she could do about the matter, all anyone really knew is that somehow it had managed to get into the city and wait for a victim.

Still grieving the loss of their sister Laith and Sela'De'Ara were sent off to the Orthorbbae. When the lessons started Laith had to quickly leave her grief behind and while she was able to do this her twin had more difficulty moving on and quickly got in trouble at the school for her poor performance. Laith was tainted in preparation for becoming a summoner, but then decided to change her courses and focus on melee combat with scorcery for her mystical study, though she still took enough summoning to be able to control her taint she never actually learned anything about summoning. Laith excelled most at combat and quickly took to an odd weapon combination mixing an axe and a war hammer, while Sela’De’Ara in her grief seemed to be unable to properly use any weapon. Sela’De’Ara managed to scrape by in her classes, but with her rough start, unequal treatment, and overall discontent with her situation, she rapidly fell behind Laith and started to grow distant from her. Only when Sela’De’Ara confronted and challenged Laith did anyone learn about the resentment that Sela’De’Ara had kept hidden, growing in their time at the Orthorbbae. Sela’De’Ara had decided that Laith was to blame for everything wrong in her life, even the death of Tel’Chiara.

The match was quickly finished with Laith showing just how much more she had learned while at the Orthorbbae, but everything about the match really shook her to her core. Laith had truly liked Sela’De’Ara as her twin and was hurt that someone so close to her would accuse her of such things. Laith grieved the loss of her twin for a short while before seeking permission to join a caravan for a while to learn more about the world and hone her skills. Her mother gave her permission and blessing on the endeavor feeling that it would do Laith good.

In the caravan Laith learned about fighting as a team and to fight completely alone because there were many times she had to defend herself without any help. She truly mastered her odd choice of weaponry, mixing a double bladed axe and a war hammer, while protecting the caravan from the various ambushes and other dangers they encountered on the road.

At one point their caravan encountered a group of Jaal’Darya who were having some problems with a merchant group overstepping their boundaries and demanding the Jaal’Darya sell them their bio-golums. The Jaal’Darya were looking to hire mercenaries covertly to kill the merchants without themselves being connected to the murders. Since the Jal’Darya were not offering any Ada for the job they hadn’t gotten anyone willing to do the work for them, but Laith had no need of Ada for her work and saw this as an opportunity to further test her skills. Sneaking into the inn that the merchants were sleeping in Laith killed two of them while they were still sleeping and had the other three dead before their guards managed to come in from the next room over. With no one to watch her back in a large fight Laith was forced to run but she had finished what needed to be done, the merchants were dead and the Jaal’Darya weren’t connected to the murders. When Laith returned to report the job done she found only a letter and a cloak. The letter thanked her for her services and explained that the cloak hid 4 living blades that would protect her in her travels and let her fight instead of run if she found herself in such a large fight alone again. She thought for a moment about how they had known she’d been forced to run but it wasn’t of any concern to her, she had been paid well for her work and with her caravan leaving in a few minutes she really didn’t have time to ponder the situation.

After spending two years traveling with the caravan an on her own Laith returned to Chel'el'sussoloth and has taken her place in the Kelredar household, but as the youngest child there is not much for her to do for now and she spends her time wandering the city, occasionally stopping to pester her brother while he’s on guard duty, but mostly she spends her time at the arena.

Description:
Height: Five feet, Six inches
Weight: Unequipped 102 lbs, Standard gear 115 lbs, Looking for trouble gear 124-128 lbs
Eye Color: Red
Hair Color and Style: Pure white hair with the tips dyed red, straight hair pulled back into a high ponytail that goes about halfway down her back.
Appearance: Laith wears a loose flowing robe with some jewels in it over her chain/plate suit and has some plain rings, a necklace and a few piercing.

She has a thin sharp face with wide eyes, a small pointed nose, and tight lips set in a neutral expression. On her face she has a pierced lower lip (ring), three piercing in her left ear (2 rings and a stud), and two piercing in her right ear (2 rings).

Personality: Laith hates all the Val’Sarghress and the Drowussu, otherwise she is a quiet but friendly drow. Not comfortable alone Laith spends most of her free time at the arena sometimes wondering how far her skills would take her in such fights. Even though she is often found sitting alone she is more than willing to share her table with anyone non-Val’Sarghress or Drowussu who wishes to sit with her for a while.

How Laith will be found by other players:
Standard gear is her pair of swords, her spider silk robes, chain/platemail suit, any reagents needed for her spells, and any food, water, money she'd need for her day. Anytime Laith goes out not expecting a fight or for an extended trip she will be wearing her standard gear.

Looking for trouble gear adds on the Shield, some extra platemail fitted over the spider silk robes, and extra reagents for all her spells that need them. Laith will be wearing this when she's looking for or expecting a fight or when she's on patrol.
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Postby kembaru » Mon Apr 03, 2006 1:30 pm

"your character is the physical equivalent of a 14 year old human, you do realise that? drow age at half the rate of humans, I'd suggest fixing that up..." Says the red haired student, reading over the submission whilst munching on... something.

"Next up, why did she think it was the fault of the Sarghress? Streekaider are wild animals, what's to prevent them from attacking things randomly?"

"She was sent to Orthorbbae, why did she decide to change her courses and focus on melee combat? just why did her twin hate her so much?"

"She joined a caravan, where did it go? what was it trading? who was there, how did they treat her, what did she think of all this?"

"In general a clan that has demands made of it will call the guards to have the merchants booted from their fortress, as well there is no law against murder, so it's pretty pointless to want to not be assosciated with the deaths of anonymous peasant merchants, the clans can get away with this easily."

"In general it's an okay submission, but it reads like a list, which won't be enough to get you through."
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Postby Glyph » Mon Apr 03, 2006 6:26 pm

"I believe that the reason foul play was suspected was because the streekaider attack happened in the city and didn't attack anyone until this specific person showed up. Don't know why the Sarghress would have been blamed. The Vloz'ress or Beldrobbaen would be much more likely to use feral driders in that fashion. Not real likely, but more then the Sarghress."

"Couple of things popped out at me while looking it over. As for the cloak, can't say it seems reasonable to build a cloak that hides blades that can strike behind you. To the sides maybe, but not behind. If they are hidden under the cloak that means they would have to push the whole thing up to attack behind the wearer. The ones shown on the bio-golem worldsetting page appear to be designed to attack whatever is in front of the wearer. Their main advantage being stealth and surprise instead of being able to attack large numbers of opponents."

"Bumping up the age would probably be a good idea. Also, it isn't likely that someone would be tainted in preperation to learn summoning and then suddenly decide not to go through with it. The mandatory sharen tainting is only about 15-20 years old and before that I get the feeling that people outside the summoner profession wouldn't like putting even a seed of a demon inside them. However, any sharen still around after the Nidra'chall (spelling?) coup would be forced to be tainted anyway."

"The last thing that caught my attention was the Jaal'Darya situation. Couple of things seem a tad off, but the most important one is this. Why wouldn't the Jaal'Darya want anyone to know who killed the merchants? You try to muscle in on one of the high clans and you are going to be smacked down. Hiring mercenaries still makes sense considering that Jaal'Darya is the smallest clan numbers wise. At least I think so. Even if no money was offered I still think many mercenaries would be willing, even eager, to help take care of the situation. One, because getting on a clan's good side is always a good career move. Two, nobody would think that the Jaal'Darya would expect a freebie and if money isn't invovled then the possibility of being paid in a minor bio-golem becomes a distinct possibility. Remember that they never sell Bio-golems just for money. They only give them away as gifts to gain favors or reward allies."

"Last piece of advice is to ask youself one question every time you think you are done. What can I add to this background? Yours seems a little on the short side, so might want to consider putting in more details. The fight betewen the sisters seems to pop up from out of the blue. Maybe put a few hints into earier bits about times they didn't get along?"
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Postby LaithKelredar » Mon Apr 03, 2006 7:59 pm

Mostly just a list here for myself so I can fix the sheet when I get home from school, but there are some questions as to how to fix my broken parts of my sheet.

So, for the Jaal'Darya situation would it be better to say that they were too busy with their work to deal with them and Laith managed to be the first one to show up and accept the job? And to cut out the attacking behind thing.

The reasoning with the Streekaider was that the Val'Sarghress symbol was the spider and Laith was too young to understand enough to come to the other conclusions, dunno why I forgot to put that in there, guess my brain's more broken than I thought...

I actually had more on Sela'De'Ara starting to hate Laith, but then cut it out cause it seemed like I was giving too much importance to a guardian twin that winds up dieing in the next paragraph, but if it'll help I'll go back and rewrite it into the story.

And delete out the summoner thing, guess I missed seeing the line that said the Sharen taint all their children, bump up the age, and go write actual caravan travels.

If I missed anything in here please yell at me so I notice it when I get home.
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Postby Glyph » Mon Apr 03, 2006 9:02 pm

"Questions are always good. I'd suggest that several mercenaries accepted the task of taking care of the merchants and Laith was either one of few survivors or distigushed himself during the fight to get the special reward of the cloak. The rest getting fairly useless bio-golems like color-shifting flowers. As for the clock itself, you could still have it attack things behind it. It would just be more noticable with the arms hanging down on top of the cloak instead of hiding under it."

"As for the Streekaider attack, having it be because of the Sargress clan symbol is kind of silly. The Sarghress symbol is only vaguely spider-like and the Beldorbbaen actually uses a spider as their symbol. If you really wanted that event to be why Laith hates the Sarghress it would be better to blame them because the guards didn't show up in time. I'm pretty sure that clan handles most of the patrols in the parts of the city not claimed specifically by one clan or another. Could even have it the Sarghress patrol showed up right after Laith's mother was killed and prevented any other deaths. That kind of timing could be suspicious."

"Guardian twins are probably the most important thing in a young Sharen's life. I seriously doubt you could put too much about the two of them in your background. Remember that more is better. I've yet to see a submission that was too long for Xian's tastes. Have had temptations of writing like a ten-page background just to see if it's possible, but that's frickkin' hard."

"Yeah, ever since the almost-successful coup attempt on the royal family (about 15 years before the start of the main comic) by a clan that used powerful demon magics it has been standard practice to taint all Sharen. Males much more heavily then the females."
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Postby LaithKelredar » Mon Apr 03, 2006 10:06 pm

Mmm... yeah, I like the guards having suspicious timing after the streekaider attack, though it's her sister (I thought the drow were raised by the youngest daughter for them to prove their worth?) and should I include a gender section on my sheet, I personally thought Laith was feminine enough but now a few people have mistaken her for a him >.>

I like the multiple mercs thing, have lots show up and only a few walk away mostly due to Laith's own skills. Maybe I'll just make the cloak out of several overlapping blades (6-8 ) that attach to a nice looking collar.

Thanks for all the advice everyone. Be back probably in 1-3 days with a new chara sheet depending on my scheduleand if I can steal time on a comp.
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Postby Thalar » Mon Apr 03, 2006 11:34 pm

A voice, somewhat familiar, sounds from underneath a desk. It's a little girl, with a bunch of notes.

"You should probably be a little careful with how much effect your character has on the fight - if she kills the majority of the enemies single-handedly, she is too powerful I should think.
I would suggest she fights alongside the other mercenaries, but maybe she keeps the mercenaries fighting when they want to run, perhaps she turns the tide of the battle in their favor and makes a name for herself that way?"

"It could be anything from pinpointing the leader of the merchants and making a decisive strike that weakens the merchants significantly, to discovering that the merchants are making a stand underneath a precarious overhang of stone - which can be dislodged and caused to fall on them for example, or any other thing that makes your character stand out from the others that have gone there to fight, yet doesn't make her a superwoman."

"Oh and the age thing.. I think normally you graduate from the Orthobbae around 30, which is the equivalent of being a 15 year old human."
That is not dead which may eternal lie, and with aeons even death may die.

Tar'shay Nimaraidh Tei'kaliath, on a boat, throwing things on the ground
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Postby Vajra » Tue Apr 04, 2006 11:36 am

[150 years ago...]

The girl of 20 glared at the school's receptionist, fury in her eyes. From the looks of it she had recently been through a traumatic experience; bruises showed on her cheeks and her finely woven purple/red robe and white scarf around her neck was bloodstained in some places.

"I would like to know how your education system works - how does a child like I go along, what do I learn, how the environment feels like, and what do I come out as."

"That's because I wish to enrol here."

(I'm really clueless as to how a drow's schooling years are. I ask for assistance in the history of my second drowtales character, who is going to be an ancient Saghress mistress of war...)
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Postby kembaru » Tue Apr 04, 2006 12:16 pm

The red haired student wanders along the corridors, eventually stopping where the 'receptionist' is and looking funny at the strange drow girl who is talking to someone who untill now didn't exist.

"Uh, the mystical realm of the school thread is an out of continuity thread where just about everything can happen, this isn't Orthorbbae, and in fact we aren't even sure what dimension we're in, all that is certain is that we're on the third floor of some building, and we have cookies and coffee in every classroom... even though we only seem to have one classroom."

The red haired student, who for future reference is a rather portly human who wears long academic robes, leads the drow girl to the classroom, and hands her a cookie to calm her down.

"From what we can gather there are many schools in the underworld, the most famous being the school for nobles Orthorbbae, in general it is gathered that it is a school for magic, though it has just about every other class you could imagine, from sorcery, to summoning, to melee combat and mathematics, in general it is accepted that you can learn anything there, most children are enrolled at around age 10 to 15, when they're physically very young, and more or less graduate about 20 years afterwards."

"There are also the independant schools, which teach just about anything, though from what we cang ather are usually focused on a general and specific subject, for instance a blacksmith's school won't teach you how to cook. You can also have private tutors, though you will need to be in a family that can afford them, they can teach just about anything, though they will not teach you up to the standards of Orthorrbae."

"Anyway, I look forward to seeing the character sheet, though please note that 'ancient Sarghress mistress of war' doesn't make me think good things, in general you aren't allowed to have very many NPCs with your character to command, if any at all, and 'ancient' makes me think that this character will be good at everything, or enormously good at one specific thing, which just doesn't fly here, so keep it under control, okay?"
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Postby Vajra » Tue Apr 04, 2006 12:34 pm

[150 years later (Hehe, you crack me up kembaru ^_^)]

The old matron merely smiles back out the corner of her mouth in a decidedly suggestive manner. "Don't you worry. My hopes and dreams of being as respected as Quain'tana (scoffs at the name) had been quashed long ago. Didn't care to actually meet her, even."

(so I won't fall into acquaintance with Kern's webcomic...)

"The same can be said of my military career, though I remember most fondly my time spent in that profession. But you do not need to know anything about that until I complete my biography. I know of someone who used to be under my command - whose inability to adapt back to a social life after leaving my service caused him to be most disappointed with himself. Rest assured I will not repeat his mistake."

"Good day to you." With a swirl of heavy robes she stalks off silently into the crowd, a measure of deadly grace still in her gait.

[150 years ago (to reply to your nice post)]

"Huh... thanks?" The little newcomer felt strange at receiving something from another so light-hearted in demeanor, but nibbles heartily at the confectionary. But on the other hand...

Stupid me! I could have been poisoned! Do not fall into that trap again!

"I get the idea now. Rest assured your time wasted on enlightening such a useless sack of meat like myself won't be wasted."
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Postby kembaru » Tue Apr 04, 2006 12:40 pm

"No problem... uh... both of you... damn those space/time continuum break downs! Damn them to hell!"

The red haired student watches the newcomer... and the other one leave too, though utterly confused, he speaks as they leave.

"Drow don't age past a point, so if you want to be referred to as 'old' you wll have had to have spent some time on the surface away from any form of fae civilisation in order to have aged, and comparatively less than 200 is pretty young in comparison to some of the othe characters, there is a 450-something year old floating about too, but yersh, your choice."

"Just post up your submission here, we can hen-peck it into shape, but feel free to just take it on over to Xian, you've already passed one so I don't think you need much more instruction to get past him."
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