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Grammar/Spelling mistakes thread

Re: Grammar/Spelling mistakes thread

Postby Finn MacCool » Sat Dec 24, 2011 1:12 pm

chapter: 34

page: 37

panel: 1

or: "Your report daughter, tell me of our attack against the Illhar'dro isle."

sb: "Your report, Daughter. Tell me of our attack against the Illhar'dro isle."/ex: missing comma; "daughter" needs to be capitalized in this case; (probably) wrong punctuation mark

panel: 3

or: "...and the Balkhavara took down their war boat."

sb: "...and the Balvhakara took down their warboat."/ex: transposed letters; "warboat" probably needs to be written in one word


or: "The Jie'yen found and rescued a sizable group Val hostages that were held in the high palace."

sb: "The Jie'yen found and rescued a sizable group of Val hostages that were held in the High Palace."/ex: missing preposition; if "high palace" is supposed to be a proper name (and it sure sounds like one), it needs to be capitalized

panel: 4

or: "But the Illhar'dro were ready for us, we've not been able to conquer the high palace and..."

sb: "But the Illhar'dro were ready for us. We've not been able to conquer the High Palace and..."/ex: (probably) wrong punctuation mark; if "high palace" is supposed to be a proper name (and it sure sounds like one), it needs to be capitalized


(or: "Especially on the south side where we've left their golems untouched."

sb: "Especially on the south side, where we've left their golems untouched."/ex: (possibly) missing comma)

panel: 5

or: "We could have taken the high palace with speed if it was not for the nether gates we kept finding in our way."

sb: "We could have taken the High Palace with speed if it had not been for the nether gates we kept finding in our way."/ex: if "high palace" is supposed to be a proper name (and it sure sounds like one), it needs to be capitalized; wrong tense


(or: "I believe that had we not been there to close them for our allies,..."

sb: "I believe that, had we not been there to close them for our allies,..."/ex: probably missing comma)
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Re: Grammar/Spelling mistakes thread

Postby Finn MacCool » Mon Dec 26, 2011 2:21 pm

chapter: 34

page: 38

panel: 1

or: "This would explain why the duskians have made their move."

sb: "This would explain why the Duskians have made their move."/ex: "duskians" needs to be capitalized

panel: 3

or: "Their use of gates allowed us to gain an ally, and this will balance the war in our favor."

sb: "Their use of gates has allowed us to gain an ally and this will balance the war in our favor."/ex: (probably) wrong tense; (possibly) superfluous comma (also, there are only very few google hits for "balance the/a war in". so maybe the second part of the sentence should be changed to "and this will tip the balance of the war in our favor.")

panel: 4

or: "Understandable, she had left the isle."

sb: "Understandable. She has left the isle."/ex: probably wrong punctuation mark; probably wrong tense

panel: 6

or: "To the great bridge's army."

sb: "To the Great Bridge's army."/ex: "great bridge" may need to be capitalized (if it is supposed to be a proper name)

(or: "They are on the march ,..."

sb: "They are on the march,..."/ex: superfluous blank after "march")
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Re: Grammar/Spelling mistakes thread

Postby Finn MacCool » Tue Dec 27, 2011 7:10 pm

chapter: 34

page: 39

panel: 2

or: "I spoke a traitor's words."

sb: "I have spoken a traitor's words."/ex: probably wrong tense (also, changing "a traitor's words" to "traitor's words" or "traitor words" might be worth a thought)

panel: 3

or: "For years I have nurtured the knowledge that Diva'ratrika was murdered."

sb: "For years I have nurtured the knowledge that Diva'ratrika has been murdered."/ex: possibly wrong tense


or: "..., brother knows this,..."

sb: "..., Brother knows this,..."/ex: "brother" needs to be capitalized in this case

panel: 4

or: "...yes."

sb: "...Yes."/ex: "yes" needs to be capitalized in this case

(panel: 5

or: "This is your nature, and..."

sb: "This is your nature and..."/ex: (possibly) superfluous comma)
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Re: Grammar/Spelling mistakes thread

Postby Finn MacCool » Wed Dec 28, 2011 3:00 pm

chapter: 34

page: 40

panel: 1

(or: "Diva'ratrika was this immortal being watching over us from afar ,..."

sb: "Diva'ratrika was this immortal being watching over us from afar,..."/ex: superfluous blank after "afar")


or: "..., for it broke our empire apart."

sb: "..., for it has broken our empire apart."/ex: (possibly) wrong tense

panel: 2

or: "My childs,..."

sb: "My children,..."/ex: the plural of "child" is "children", not "childs"

panel: 4

or: "I wish our Chelians clans would be so pragmatic."

sb: "I wish our Chelian clans would be so pragmatic."/ex: superfluous "s"
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Re: Grammar/Spelling mistakes thread

Postby Finn MacCool » Thu Dec 29, 2011 3:01 pm

chapter: 34

page: 41

panel: 1

or: "..., you and your warriors are forgiven for the failure to respond to my summon."

sb: "..., you and your warriors are forgiven for the failure to respond to my summons."/ex: missing "s" (also, "the" may need to be replaced with "your")

panel: 2

(or: "But you Balsii,..."

sb: "But you, Balsii,..."/ex: missing comma)


or: "Your actions led to the deaths of many and without the help of the Balkhavara, my own would have been forfeit."

sb: "Your actions have led to the death of many and without the help of the Balvhakara my own life would have been forfeit."/ex: probably wrong tense; possibly wrong number; transposed letters; possibly superfluous comma; missing noun


or: "Death ought be your punishment."

sb: "Death ought to be your punishment."/ex: (probably) missing preposition


or: "The rift was made long ago cousin, when you abandoned Chel and brought the Chelian hordes here, to my home."

sb: "The rift was made long ago, Cousin, when you abandoned Chel and brought the Chelian hordes here to my home."/ex: missing comma; "cousin" needs to be capitalized in this case; probably superfluous comma


or: "...and did so well."

sb: "...and done so well." or maybe "...and have done so well./ex: (probably) wrong tense


or: "Your coming, your softness, brought the current calamity upon us."

sb: "Your coming, your softness have brought the current calamity upon us."/ex: superfluous comma; probably wrong tense


or: "Instead of taking pity on the refugees we ought have closed our gates to them!"

sb: "Instead of taking pity on the refugees, we ought to have closed our gates to them!"/ex: missing comma; (probably) missing preposition

panel: 4

(or: "I need your people loyal to me Balsii,..."

sb: "I need your people loyal to me, Balsii,..."/ex: missing comma)


or: "But the blood that was shed needs to be repaid with blood."

sb: "But the blood that has been shed needs to be repaid with blood."/ex: probably wrong tense

panel: 5

or: "Information about the foreigners who backed your replacement."

sb: "Information about the foreigners who have backed your replacement." or maybe "Information about the foreigners who have been backing your replacement."/ex: (possibly) wrong tense
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Re: Grammar/Spelling mistakes thread

Postby Finn MacCool » Sat Dec 31, 2011 3:11 pm

chapter: 34

page: chibi2

(panel: 2

or: "The sagas of Quain'tana I believe."

sb: "The sagas of Quain'tana, I believe."/ex: probably missing comma


or: "Study, it's for studies!"

sb: "Studies, it's for studies!" or "Study, it's for study!"/ex: technically, this sentence is correct, but using the same word twice would sound better)

panel: 3

or: "..., the fall of the great wall,..."

sb: "..., the fall of the Great Wall,..."/ex: "great wall" (probably) needs to be capitalized


(or: "A bit of embellishment but her tactics are worthy of respect I assure you."

sb: "A bit of embellishment, but her tactics are worthy of respect, I assure you."/ex: missing comma; probably missing comma)

panel: 5

or: "A hour later at the Jie'yen."

sb: "An hour later at the Jie'yen."/ex: wrong article


or: "The Factionists , they are coming!"

sb: "The factionists, they are coming!"/ex: "factionists" needs to be lowercased; superfluous blank after "factionists"


or: "..., my overly excited and moderately stupid great-great grand son?"

sb: "..., my overly excited and moderately stupid great-great-grandson?"/ex: missing hyphen; "grandson" has to be written in one word
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Re: Grammar/Spelling mistakes thread

Postby Finn MacCool » Mon Jan 02, 2012 2:02 pm

chapter: 34

page: Dusk

panel: 1

or: "..., roaming tribes of Ssu sought to defend the fledging refuges across the underworld."

sb: "..., roaming tribes of ssu sought to defend the fledgling refuges across the underworld."/ex: "ssu" needs to be lowercased; (possibly) missing "l"


or: "However, the years were not kind to Duskians as the Ssu minority were discriminated heavily against."

sb: "However, the years were not kind to the Duskians as the ssu minority were discriminated against heavily."/ex: (probably) missing article; "ssu" needs to be lowercased; probably wrong word order


or: "Over time, many among their rank fell to slavery, impoverishment and battle."

sb: "Over time, many among their ranks fell to slavery, impoverishment and battle."/ex: wrong number

panel: 2

or: "..., they adopted Lath orphans to raise as their own."

sb: "..., they adopted lath orphans to raise as their own."/ex: "lath" needs to be lowercased


(or: "They in turn continued the tradition of adopting instead of procreating."

sb: "They, in turn, continued the tradition of adopting instead of procreating."/ex: (possibly) missing commas)


or: "..., there were very few Ssu left in the order."

sb: "..., there were very few ssu left in the order."/ex: "ssu" needs to be lowercased

panel: 3

or: "They are best known for their zealous principles to protect Nuqrah'shareh from the old enemies of the Lath and the Ssu:..."

sb: "They are best known for their zealous principles to protect Nuqrah'shareh from the old enemies of the lath and the ssu:..."/ex: "lath" needs to be lowercased; "ssu" needs to be lowercased

panel: 4

or: "During the last century , with the forbidden arts ravaging the societies in the east, the Duskians gained notoriety and respect."

sb: "During the last century, with the forbidden arts ravaging the societies in the East, the Duskians have gained notoriety and respect."/ex: superfluous blank after "century"; "east" (probably) needs to be capitalized in this case; possibly wrong tense


(or: "Their ranks swelled with the many children given to them,..."

sb: "Their ranks swelled with the many children given to them,..."/ex: superfluous blank after "ranks" (that the forum doesn't display))
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Re: Grammar/Spelling mistakes thread

Postby Finn MacCool » Tue Jan 03, 2012 1:50 pm

chapter: 34

page: Jieyen

panel: 1

(or: "Jie'yen - Martial Monks"

sb: "Jie'yen - Martial Monks"/ex: superfluous blank after "Jie'yen" (that the forum doesn't display) (also, the dash appears to be shorter than on the previous page))


or: "Born in the fourth century of the Moonless age,..."

sb: "Born in the fourth century of the Moonless Age,..."/ex: "age" needs to be capitalized in this case

panel: 2

or: "Their ancestors came from the old world's south-western isles of Nuwa and beyond."

sb: "Their ancestors came from the old world's south-western isles of Nuwä and beyond."/ex: according to the map in the same panel, it's got to be "Nuwä" with an "ä" (also, given the context, "Their ancestors" may need to be replaced with "They")

panel: 3

or: "Obedient, lawful, respectful: these are traits that their Lath cousins rarely share."

sb: "Obedient, lawful, respectful: these are traits that their lath cousins rarely share."/ex: "lath" needs to be lowercased (also, replacing "Obedient", "lawful" and "respectful" with the corresponding nouns may be worth a thought)


or: "They are more alike to the grey Ssu."

sb: "They are more alike to the grey ssu."/ex: "ssu" needs to be lowercased

(panel: 4

or: "..., and for their martial art prowess which many Illhar'dro have studied."

sb: "..., and for their martial art prowess, which many Illhar'dro have studied."/ex: probably missing comma)

panel: 5

or: "Accepting Nuqran and foreigners alike to come and learn from their teachings, while sending more of their own abroad to be involved in the political scene."

sb: "Accepting Nuqrah'sharians and foreigners alike to come and learn from their teachings while sending more of their own abroad to be involved in the political scene."/ex: not necessarily a mistake, but up to now the people from Nuqrah'shareh have been referred to as "Nuqrah'sharians"; probably superfluous comma
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Re: Grammar/Spelling mistakes thread

Postby Finn MacCool » Wed Jan 04, 2012 1:47 pm

chapter: 34

page: Balvhakara

panel: 1

or: "Born in the third century of the Moonless age,..."

sb: "Born in the third century of the Moonless Age,..."/ex: "age" needs to be capitalized in this case

panel: 4

or: "...and their advanced powered armor that serve as both protection and weapon."

sb: "...and their advanced powered armor that serves as both protection and weapon."/ex: wrong number

(panel: 5

or: "During the last century they've grown richer and bolder."

sb: "During the last century, they've grown richer and bolder."/ex: missing comma)
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Re: Grammar/Spelling mistakes thread

Postby Finn MacCool » Thu Jan 05, 2012 1:14 pm

chapter: 34

page: illhardro

panel: 1

or: "..., the val clan of the Illhar'dro built a mercantile empire that stretched across the whole of the underworld."

sb: "..., the Val clan of the Illhar'dro has built a mercantile empire that stretches across the whole of the underworld."/ex: while i'm all for lowercasing "val(s)"/"vel(s)", those words have mostly been capitalized up to now and therefore, "val" should probably be capitalized in this case as well; probably wrong tense; wrong tense

panel: 3

or: "..., these merchants who made Nuqrah'shareh into the successful colony it is, had to seek martial might to protect their spreading empire."

sb: "..., these merchants, who have made Nuqrah'shareh into the successful colony it is, have had to seek martial might to protect their spreading empire."/ex: missing comma; (probably) wrong tense; probably wrong tense


or: "..., they led great advances in technology in through partnerships with other clans."

sb: "..., they have led great advances in technology in partnerships with other clans." or maybe "..., they have led in great advances in technology through partnerships with other clans."/ex: (probably) wrong tense; (possibly) superfluous preposition or wrong word order

panel: 5

or: "..., their empire had grown too big and has beguan to crumble."

sb: "..., their empire has grown too big and has begun to crumble."/ex: probably wrong tense; superfluous "a"


or: "War followed them all the way to their refuge in the west."

sb: "War has followed them all the way to their refuge in the West."/ex: wrong tense; "west" (probably) needs to be capitalized in this case
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Re: Grammar/Spelling mistakes thread

Postby laXgrrl5 » Thu Jan 05, 2012 9:05 pm

Chapter 34
Page: Illhardo

Bottom panel, right hand corner

"begaun" might be "began" or "begun". :)
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Re: Grammar/Spelling mistakes thread

Postby AthenAltena » Fri Jan 06, 2012 5:07 am

Chapter 34 AllianceFaction

or: "Dead is Diva'ratrika, Empress and Voice of the Goddess, the last remnant of the old order and so of it's laws."

sb: "Diva'ratrika, Empress and Voice of the Goddess, is dead, and so is the last remnant of the old order and its laws."

Awkward phrasing, misuse of "its" to indicate possession.

or: "The vestiges of the empire structure lasted many years but it's fall was inevitable."

sb: "The vestiges of the empire lasted many years, but its fall was inevitable."

"structure" seems redundant, and again with the its confusion.

or: "Likewise, it's ruling clan splintered..."

sb: "Likewise, its ruling clan splintered..."

Ditto.

or: "Zala'ess the youngest, the meek, the frivolous, now stand..."

sb: "Zala'ess the youngest, the meek, the frivolous, now stands..."

"stand" needs to have an S on the end.
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Re: Grammar/Spelling mistakes thread

Postby Finn MacCool » Fri Jan 06, 2012 1:43 pm

laXgrrl5 wrote:Chapter 34
Page: Illhardo

Bottom panel, right hand corner

"begaun" might be "began" or "begun". :)

i already mentioned that one. also, "began" isn't really an option here unless you want to remove the "has".

AthenAltena wrote:Chapter 34 AllianceFaction

or: "Dead is Diva'ratrika, Empress and Voice of the Goddess, the last remnant of the old order and so of it's laws."

sb: "Diva'ratrika, Empress and Voice of the Goddess, is dead, and so is the last remnant of the old order and its laws."

Awkward phrasing, misuse of "its" to indicate possession.

i think that diva is meant to be the last remnant here and that the phrasing, though unusual, is correct. (if anything, the "so" might be superfluous.)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

chapter: 34

page: AllianceFaction

panel: 1

(or: "The vestiges of the empire structure lasted many years but it's fall was inevitable."

sb: "The vestiges of the empire structure lasted many years, but its fall was inevitable."/ex: missing comma (already corrected by AthenAltena, but not emphasized)


or: "Likewise it's ruling clan splintered with each of the remaining daughters of the empress attempting to regain supreme power."

sb: "Likewise, its ruling clan splintered, with each of the remaining daughters of the empress attempting to regain supreme power."/ex: probably missing comma; (probably) missing comma)


or: "Zala'ess the youngest, the meek, the frivolous, now stand against her sisters with a large army and powerful foreign alliances."

sb: "Zala'ess, the youngest, the meek, the frivolous, now stands against her sisters with a large army and powerful foreign allies."/ex: missing comma; (possibly) wrong word


or: "...or to precipitate the end of the Moonless age."

sb: "...or to precipitate the end of the Moonless Age."/ex: "age" needs to be capitalized in this case
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Re: Grammar/Spelling mistakes thread

Postby Finn MacCool » Sat Jan 07, 2012 11:32 am

(chapter: 34

page: Contest2011

panel: 1

or: "Feel free to give your inputs to the participants on the forum but please remain civil."

sb: "Feel free to give your inputs to the participants on the forum, but please remain civil."/ex: missing comma)
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Re: Grammar/Spelling mistakes thread

Postby Finn MacCool » Tue Jan 10, 2012 2:02 pm

chapter: 33

page: 000B

panel: 1

or: "Worlds of sky, of land and under."

sb: "Worlds of sky, of land and beneath."/ex: (possibly) wrong word (also, adding "the" at the beginning of the sentence may be worth a thought.)

---------------------------

page: 000C

panel: 1

or: "Under, the fallen empires found refuge."

sb: "Beneath, the fallen empires found refuge."/ex: probably wrong word (since there isn't really anything in the last few sentences on the previous page that either "Under" or "Beneath" can refer to, replacing "Under" with "In the underworld" might also be an option.)


or: "A rough, industrious people that would craft the very rock and metal of their underworld refuges,..."

sb: "A rough, industrious people that would work the very rock and metal of their underworld refuges,..."/ex: probably wrong word ("to craft" means "to make"/"to produce")


or: "..., forsaking the world that their ancestors left behind."

sb: "..., forsaking the world that their ancestors had left behind."/ex: wrong tense

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

(chapter: 35

page: cover

panel: 1

or: "Drowtales Moonless Age Chapter 35"

sb: "Drowtales: Moonless Age: Chapter 35"/ex: not necessarily a mistake, but a deviation from the norm)
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